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LaColombeDeDeuil — Lost Path
Published: 2010-08-22 21:13:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 207; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 2
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Description Yea, so this shall be, as many doubtless have shared
The star, the rose whose bud hath brought me my one delight
Hast closed its petals to my heart ner more its joyous fragrance to behold
Thus life shall find enchantment's angel risen with wings of darkest boldness
For what is the truth, where is the light, what words bleed upon a page
That justify this pain, this scourging of  my spirit till its flesh is splayed
Promises met but now forgotten, oh how my soul shatters
And words fall on ears that claim to hear but are deaf unto me in darkest hours
Yea, so this shall be, as many doubtless have shared
Change of mind, splintering of heart, lost on the truth, oh from this to have been spared..
Ner did I ev'r have desire to walk this path again.
To part the darkness with each step, and remember only pain, pain, pain.
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Comments: 7

tommyboywood [2014-01-20 14:49:50 +0000 UTC]

Whew! Kinda dark but well done. Please consider changing ner to ne'er and ev'r to e'er.  For example, perhaps the last line would read better as "Ne'er do I e'er have the desire to walk this path again.  This also corrects the tense.  Of course, feel free to ignore, as you wish.

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LaColombeDeDeuil In reply to tommyboywood [2014-01-24 18:54:45 +0000 UTC]



~~ thank you for your imput. I used what I did from a resource book for irish and scottish interpretations. I will consider your suggestion! ~~

always,
katti

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tommyboywood In reply to LaColombeDeDeuil [2014-01-24 19:53:10 +0000 UTC]

Gotcha. Makes sense

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patrick2006 [2010-08-23 06:29:29 +0000 UTC]

that is such a cool line wow!!!

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LaColombeDeDeuil In reply to patrick2006 [2010-08-24 03:28:38 +0000 UTC]



i am glad you like it! you may use it for anything you wish if you want. you are so kind.i hope all is going well in school for you!

always and truly,
katti

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wizillusions [2010-08-22 21:23:05 +0000 UTC]



Brilliant in it's phrasing and to me these are the most outstanding of all here.

"The star, the rose whose bud hath brought me my one delight
Hast closed its petals to my heart ner more its joyous fragrance to behold"

"Promises met but now forgotten, oh how my soul shatters
And words fall on ears that claim to hear but are deaf unto me in darkest hours"




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LaColombeDeDeuil In reply to wizillusions [2010-08-24 03:29:34 +0000 UTC]



thank you wiz, and they are from the heart as well.

always,
katti

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