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Description

such drama, such theatre, such Shakespeare. Wow
—-----------------
Hi, there is a lot of backstory to this render, it’s a therapeutic piece of art (alongside the writing below) that my therapist had encouraged me to make in order to work out some feelings I have around the below subject. It’s more to help me than you haha. I have chosen to push through my anxieties and share this artwork and writing publicly, but it is difficult for me to go into a couple of these subjects. I don’t expect anyone to read the entire thing, however if you do, I can only say: thank you for taking the time to read my whole ass essay, I really appreciate it and I hope you can support me as I do more of these therapy-esque pieces in the future. There’s also a TL;DR bit in the next paragraph in case you can’t read big text .

TL;DR- Over the years I had been pursuing a career in acting, doing very well, but due to factors such as COVID, cost, my medical conditions, unease with popularity and attention in general, and losing my passion for acting, I decided to quit. I’ve been struggling with feeling weak about quitting and how I would disappoint big figures who encouraged me to pursue the career, and for now never being able to realise my favourite role on the stage, ‘Hamlet’. However, through Hamlet, particularly Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’ which I based this render on, I discovered a passion for lecturing Shakespeare and English Literature, which is what I am now pursuing a career in. I have joined a charity that helps poor northerners (like myself) get into the top universities in the UK, and I will be conducting lectures on English Literature and student living as part of my role. This is the start of a new chapter, so I am leaving acting behind, and fully embracing the performance of the lecture.

—

Since I was 15, I had been aspiring to be an actor. Specifically, a Shakespearean actor. I discovered acting at school, like most people, and for someone who lives with GAD, performing with a script and knowing how everything is going to pan out over the next few hours was a great comfort, and it gave me the confidence to speak in front of people. At this time, I was essentially mute around anyone who was not family or trusted friends, and it was causing problems for me, naturally.

While at university, I was working professional and amateur theatre productions, and doing film work as an actor. I also landed some technical and backstage roles too, in order to get experience in other aspects of theatre and film and incorporate that knowledge into my acting and preparations. I loved doing theatre tech, and worked my way up to Head of Tech for one production with my University, and did some paid technical work at Reading Fringe Festival. I was getting as much performing experience as I could, and thoroughly enjoying my time as a player and technician, despite my health beginning to go downhill towards the end of 2018.

Unfortunately, some events occurred that have made me choose to leave acting behind. There were a lot of factors that went into this decision: my health, how COVID put so many performers out of work, the inaccessibility of the performing arts to working-class northerners, not necessarily enjoying the attention I receive online, and more. However, the main reason that I left acting was… I no longer enjoyed it.

After lockdowns eased a little at the end of 2020, I landed a volunteer role as a lighting technician for a small theatre company that I had worked with prior to going to university. I was already having doubts about committing to a career in the performing arts because of all the reasons above, but I decided to give it one last shot before making my decision to quit. At this stage of my life, I had to decide whether to commit to the performing arts as I needed a Masters Degree in Acting, which was incredibly expensive and time consuming, so if I decided afterwards that I didn’t want to be an actor, it would have been a big waste of time and money. It would also prevent me from getting a Masters Degree in a different field in the future (more on that later). I had to make a decision now, and I hoped that returning to my roots with a company that I was familiar with would help reignite my passion for acting.

It did not.

The production I worked on really did solidify my fear- that I did not enjoy performing anymore. Not the tech work, not the acting, none of it. And so, I chose to retire as a performer.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that my dream career, that I had worked so hard for, that I dedicated so much time to while balancing 3 jobs and a university degree and loved so much, was now over. I felt sadness at my lost passion, but mostly guilt at the idea of disappointing people. People at my university saw my potential as an actor, and worked out of their way to recommend me roles and even get in professional Shakespearean actors to give me a lesson in Shakespearean acting methods. Jenny Hall, the daughter of Sir Peter Hall who created the Royal Shakespeare Company, taught this seminar, gave me extra attention and told me that I could be successful in this field. One of my favourite professors who co-ran that seminar told me that she expected to see me on the Globe stage one day. It felt like I was disappointing them. I haven’t told either of them that I have retired.

The render I have made today is based on my favourite Hamlet film by Laurence Olivier. I could talk soooo much about this production and how amazing it is, but this journal is already long enough. Just know that it has a special place in my heart, and I have chosen to take inspiration from the film and self-insert myself in the role of Hamlet, performing the ‘Alas, poor Yorick!’ speech. Since I will likely never realise this role on stage, this is the only way that I can physically see myself in the role of Hamlet. It brings me happiness, and sadness for what will never be.

I’ve felt weak at knowing that my ever-increasing list of conditions has also contributed to this decision. Despite having a lot of medical and mental health issues working against me, I ALWAYS push through it. I don’t let anything stop me from doing the things I want, even if I have to suffer through 5 anxiety attacks before the time comes, or deal with negative thoughts that I do not deserve what I am reaching for. I’ve felt cowardly for choosing to do this for the first time with acting. I feel like I should be able to achieve great things despite my conditions, despite my thoughts about myself, and despite what a few people may say about me. I should not take others' opinions of me so much to heart, so much so that it knocks my confidence entirely out of the water, and contributes to me giving up a dream career. But, I have made the decision with agency, it was my choice to stop, and I have to be proud of myself for making a sensible decision for the betterment of myself considering the circumstances.

I don’t have much on my bucket list, but one thing I had was to perform at the Globe Theatre in a speaking role. It didn’t have to be a main role, I just wanted to say a line or two on that historic stage. It was a big goal, but I always aim big. But that goal is now never going to be met. I also wanted to play Hamlet. I’ve done a lot of Shakespeare, but I never got to do my favourite play, Hamlet. Basic I know, but there’s a reason it’s the most well known Shakespeare play. I love it for its existential themes, arguing about ‘is he mad or is he not mad?’, the rare bits of comedy and the over-the-top drama of Hamlet’s soliloquies. I wanted to play the lead role one day, and bring one of my all-time favourite characters to life. This will now never happen.

—

Ok, it’s been very doom and gloom so far, BUT this story has a happy ending. Luckily, while in my 3rd year of University, I started becoming attracted to university academia. I was drawn to the idea of working as an English Literature lecturer, never leaving the academic community that I have felt (and still feel) so welcome in. This was mostly inspired by the amazing Professor Cindy Becker from the University of Reading, where I did my undergrad. Her passion for the subject and the clear love she had for what she was teaching inspired me, and made me fall in love with the literary side of his works, rather than just the performance side. I took her module called ‘Shakespeare on Film’, where I needed to do a short lecture talking about a filmed Shakespeare production and analyse it from a filmmaking point of view. I chose Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’.

I loved every second of delivering that lecture. I wore my favourite Hamlet shirt (to which Cindy noticed the reference and that is the only time anyone has ever noticed it hahaha) and delivered a 30 minute lecture to my classmates about why Olivier’s Hamlet is so good, how it forms the first connection between theatre and film, how it uses colour theory despite being black and white, I could go on. ALSO SIDE NOTE: this version of Hamlet was Christopher Lee’s first acting role! He plays a silent role of one of the guards in the background, but that was the fact that made the most impact on the class during the lecture. I got the score back for that lecture, and found that I had scored a sexy 85/100, the highest score anyone has ever received in the 10+ years of that module being run. I was told shortly after the lecture by my English Literature friends that my ‘performance’ in the lecture was being talked about in other classes. I felt the expected dread at the confirmation that I was receiving attention, however everyone was saying how amazing the lecture was and how people were saying that it was at professor-level. It made me overwhelmingly happy that people enjoyed my lecture, and thus, I discovered a passion for lecturing.

It is funny how much Hamlet has influenced my career. Firstly it influenced me into acting, and when that was no longer possible, it influenced me into lecturing. And lecturing is a type of performance of course, especially since I script out most of my lectures. Despite not being an actor, I am still a performer. Just an academic one. And to a much smaller and more niche audience than a successful actor would, so dealing with attention is much, much more manageable. It’s the sensible option, but still an option that makes me infinitely excited for the future.

Last week, I was approached by an old college friend who, upon reading my ‘Graduating- A W For The Working Class’ blog post (www.chestnutscoop.com/post/gra… ), invited me to a lecturing role at her academic charity. I would be lecturing English Literature and student life to an audience of northern 16-18 year olds from poor family backgrounds, to help and encourage them to apply to the top UK universities. I myself coming from a poor northern family background, never got offered this support, and so I leapt on the opportunity to help give it to others. To make a difference like this in a young person’s life means so much to me, as it means that the working class are winning. University is not just for the rich anymore- it’s for all of us. And I want to help facilitate that in any way I can, and if that means giving some lectures about Shakespeare, it’s perfect for me!
I will perform my first lecture and seminar at a world-class institution in a couple of months time, and this will be the new turning point in getting me into lecturing. I am so excited to get started, albeit nervous, but I am determined to push through the anxiety and reach my goal. I’m not giving in this time.

And so, I leave this chapter of my life to close, and allow a new one to begin. Some people are cut out for the acting life, and some people are not. Unfortunately, I am not, and that’s something I will need to learn to accept. I can only be grateful that I had this realisation before I got a place at an acting institution, otherwise I would be mourning my wallet lmaoooo. And you know, if I become a Shakespeare academic, there’s nothing stopping me getting involved in Shakespeare productions from an advisory or directory standpoint. Who knows, maybe the Globe Theatre will let a Shakespeare academic have a little backing role in a future Hamlet production. We shall have to wait and see .

Expressing myself through art mediums has always helped me process my thoughts and feelings, and I have been encouraged by my therapist to take this back up and focus more on writing. You will have seen in a few of my latest journal entries about how myself and my therapist have been working through issues using writing specifically, and this time I wanted to pair it with a nice lil render. I had been writing a huge blog post all about me quitting acting and going into a lot more detail the reasons why I left acting, but alas… fear. It’s hard for me to talk about past experiences and my medical conditions for fear of what others will think or say, and while I am dedicated to pushing through the anxiety and all the baggage that comes with it, I decided this time that a shorter, more general writing such as this was more appropriate. The length of that blog post would not have fitted into the DA description anyway haha. I’ve put that blog post in my ‘on ice’ folder, and maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to publish it.

—----------------------------

The description for this post is long, even long by my standards lmaooooo, and I know that it’s so far been quite melancholy, very sadge and all that, so allow me to lighten the mood by talking about the construction of this MMD artwork.

Surprisingly, creating this piece was pretty easy. It took me a few days thinking of the concept, eventually basing it on with a famous screencap from Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’ which I absolutely adore. It was gonna be between this concept and this one: www.alamy.com/laurence-olivier… , and as much as I looooooove this screencap, the close up one with the skull was more emotive for me.

The render represents the sadness of me leaving acting and never getting to play Hamlet, but also the happiness of discovering a different kind of performing in lecturing Shakespeare, which was kicked off by Hamlet. I wanted this render to mark a turning point in my life, to which I will (hopefully) be able to accept my decision to retire as an actor, and embrace my decision to commit fully to academic lecturing.

Finding a good skull to use was very difficult, and I wish there was one more available that was destroyed, like the one from Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’. Alas, this was the most realistic one I could find that was F2U, so I added some decay normalmaps and thought it good. Because this skull is much bigger than the one Olivier uses, I had to change the finger pose around a little, and I was left with the pinky being quite forward in front of the skull’s face. Naturally, I thought: “If I were holding the skull like this, what would I do with the pinky?”, and the pinky goes right in the eye socket lmaoooo. I think it emphasises a bit of the grotesque element of the context of the scene (this is where Hamlet discovers his old court jester being dug up, so like this is a fresh skull), so it works.

I decided to divert a little bit to the stage lighting Olivier uses in the screencap, as much as I loved the shadows on his cheek and in the eye sockets of the skull, it didn’t look right in the render. Instead, I’ve gone for a strong spotlight shining on the tops of the heads, with a basic pointlight shining from just below their faces. This still casts some dramatic shadows, but in the reverse way to the concept.

I actually brought construction elements that Olivier used in ‘Hamlet’ into the construction of this artwork, particularly the colours. In ‘Hamlet’, although a black and white film, still uses colour in order to generate the perfect shades of grey for the camera. I have done exactly the same here, with the model’s hair being closer to blonde than my normal ginger, the skull actually being blue, the backdrop being yellow, and the eye whites of the model using an emissive blue shader. If I turned the black and white filter off, it would definitely be a different experience hahaha.

And finally, I had fantasised about modelling the outfit that ‘Hamlet’ wears during the player scenes, which consists of lots of Mediaeval jewellery, sashes and more, however with my limited modelling skills, I decided to keep in the tradition of my self-model pieces, and just change my jumper colour. I chose black as black is most often used in the theatre, one can just slap on some black trousers and a black shirt and that be one’s costume. I feel like it’s more authentic than trying to copy every element of Olivier’s Hamlet.

Credits:
Model- Chestnutscoop Self Model, there’s a lot to credit so please see this extensive post: www.deviantart.com/chestnutsco…
Skull- printable_models, Chestnutscoop
Backdrop- ChrisFiedler , Chestnutscoop
Effects- rui, ikeno, Chestnutscoop, filterforge
Concept- Inspired by the Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’: brilliantdisguises.blogspot.co….

Models edited in PMXE_0254f (© Inochi-PM and 極北P / Kyokuhoku- P)
Rendered in MikuMikuDanceE_v932x64 (© Yu Higuchi)
Plugin MMEffect v037x64 (© BuryokuKainyuu-P)
Processed in Photoshop 21.1.1 (© Adobe)

If you enjoy my work, you can support me by donating to my Coffee Page! ~<3

Visit my website: www.chestnutscoop.com/

NicoNico | BowlRoll | Discord: chestnutscoop#9443 | Twitter | YouTube | www.themmearchive.com/

Description

such drama, such theatre, such Shakespeare. Wow
—-----------------
Hi, there is a lot of backstory to this render, it’s a therapeutic piece of art (alongside the writing below) that my therapist had encouraged me to make in order to work out some feelings I have around the below subject. It’s more to help me than you haha. I have chosen to push through my anxieties and share this artwork and writing publicly, but it is difficult for me to go into a couple of these subjects. I don’t expect anyone to read the entire thing, however if you do, I can only say: thank you for taking the time to read my whole ass essay, I really appreciate it and I hope you can support me as I do more of these therapy-esque pieces in the future. There’s also a TL;DR bit in the next paragraph in case you can’t read big text .

TL;DR- Over the years I had been pursuing a career in acting, doing very well, but due to factors such as COVID, cost, my medical conditions, unease with popularity and attention in general, and losing my passion for acting, I decided to quit. I’ve been struggling with feeling weak about quitting and how I would disappoint big figures who encouraged me to pursue the career, and for now never being able to realise my favourite role on the stage, ‘Hamlet’. However, through Hamlet, particularly Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’ which I based this render on, I discovered a passion for lecturing Shakespeare and English Literature, which is what I am now pursuing a career in. I have joined a charity that helps poor northerners (like myself) get into the top universities in the UK, and I will be conducting lectures on English Literature and student living as part of my role. This is the start of a new chapter, so I am leaving acting behind, and fully embracing the performance of the lecture.

—

Since I was 15, I had been aspiring to be an actor. Specifically, a Shakespearean actor. I discovered acting at school, like most people, and for someone who lives with GAD, performing with a script and knowing how everything is going to pan out over the next few hours was a great comfort, and it gave me the confidence to speak in front of people. At this time, I was essentially mute around anyone who was not family or trusted friends, and it was causing problems for me, naturally.

While at university, I was working professional and amateur theatre productions, and doing film work as an actor. I also landed some technical and backstage roles too, in order to get experience in other aspects of theatre and film and incorporate that knowledge into my acting and preparations. I loved doing theatre tech, and worked my way up to Head of Tech for one production with my University, and did some paid technical work at Reading Fringe Festival. I was getting as much performing experience as I could, and thoroughly enjoying my time as a player and technician, despite my health beginning to go downhill towards the end of 2018.

Unfortunately, some events occurred that have made me choose to leave acting behind. There were a lot of factors that went into this decision: my health, how COVID put so many performers out of work, the inaccessibility of the performing arts to working-class northerners, not necessarily enjoying the attention I receive online, and more. However, the main reason that I left acting was… I no longer enjoyed it.

After lockdowns eased a little at the end of 2020, I landed a volunteer role as a lighting technician for a small theatre company that I had worked with prior to going to university. I was already having doubts about committing to a career in the performing arts because of all the reasons above, but I decided to give it one last shot before making my decision to quit. At this stage of my life, I had to decide whether to commit to the performing arts as I needed a Masters Degree in Acting, which was incredibly expensive and time consuming, so if I decided afterwards that I didn’t want to be an actor, it would have been a big waste of time and money. It would also prevent me from getting a Masters Degree in a different field in the future (more on that later). I had to make a decision now, and I hoped that returning to my roots with a company that I was familiar with would help reignite my passion for acting.

It did not.

The production I worked on really did solidify my fear- that I did not enjoy performing anymore. Not the tech work, not the acting, none of it. And so, I chose to retire as a performer.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that my dream career, that I had worked so hard for, that I dedicated so much time to while balancing 3 jobs and a university degree and loved so much, was now over. I felt sadness at my lost passion, but mostly guilt at the idea of disappointing people. People at my university saw my potential as an actor, and worked out of their way to recommend me roles and even get in professional Shakespearean actors to give me a lesson in Shakespearean acting methods. Jenny Hall, the daughter of Sir Peter Hall who created the Royal Shakespeare Company, taught this seminar, gave me extra attention and told me that I could be successful in this field. One of my favourite professors who co-ran that seminar told me that she expected to see me on the Globe stage one day. It felt like I was disappointing them. I haven’t told either of them that I have retired.

The render I have made today is based on my favourite Hamlet film by Laurence Olivier. I could talk soooo much about this production and how amazing it is, but this journal is already long enough. Just know that it has a special place in my heart, and I have chosen to take inspiration from the film and self-insert myself in the role of Hamlet, performing the ‘Alas, poor Yorick!’ speech. Since I will likely never realise this role on stage, this is the only way that I can physically see myself in the role of Hamlet. It brings me happiness, and sadness for what will never be.

I’ve felt weak at knowing that my ever-increasing list of conditions has also contributed to this decision. Despite having a lot of medical and mental health issues working against me, I ALWAYS push through it. I don’t let anything stop me from doing the things I want, even if I have to suffer through 5 anxiety attacks before the time comes, or deal with negative thoughts that I do not deserve what I am reaching for. I’ve felt cowardly for choosing to do this for the first time with acting. I feel like I should be able to achieve great things despite my conditions, despite my thoughts about myself, and despite what a few people may say about me. I should not take others' opinions of me so much to heart, so much so that it knocks my confidence entirely out of the water, and contributes to me giving up a dream career. But, I have made the decision with agency, it was my choice to stop, and I have to be proud of myself for making a sensible decision for the betterment of myself considering the circumstances.

I don’t have much on my bucket list, but one thing I had was to perform at the Globe Theatre in a speaking role. It didn’t have to be a main role, I just wanted to say a line or two on that historic stage. It was a big goal, but I always aim big. But that goal is now never going to be met. I also wanted to play Hamlet. I’ve done a lot of Shakespeare, but I never got to do my favourite play, Hamlet. Basic I know, but there’s a reason it’s the most well known Shakespeare play. I love it for its existential themes, arguing about ‘is he mad or is he not mad?’, the rare bits of comedy and the over-the-top drama of Hamlet’s soliloquies. I wanted to play the lead role one day, and bring one of my all-time favourite characters to life. This will now never happen.

—

Ok, it’s been very doom and gloom so far, BUT this story has a happy ending. Luckily, while in my 3rd year of University, I started becoming attracted to university academia. I was drawn to the idea of working as an English Literature lecturer, never leaving the academic community that I have felt (and still feel) so welcome in. This was mostly inspired by the amazing Professor Cindy Becker from the University of Reading, where I did my undergrad. Her passion for the subject and the clear love she had for what she was teaching inspired me, and made me fall in love with the literary side of his works, rather than just the performance side. I took her module called ‘Shakespeare on Film’, where I needed to do a short lecture talking about a filmed Shakespeare production and analyse it from a filmmaking point of view. I chose Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’.

I loved every second of delivering that lecture. I wore my favourite Hamlet shirt (to which Cindy noticed the reference and that is the only time anyone has ever noticed it hahaha) and delivered a 30 minute lecture to my classmates about why Olivier’s Hamlet is so good, how it forms the first connection between theatre and film, how it uses colour theory despite being black and white, I could go on. ALSO SIDE NOTE: this version of Hamlet was Christopher Lee’s first acting role! He plays a silent role of one of the guards in the background, but that was the fact that made the most impact on the class during the lecture. I got the score back for that lecture, and found that I had scored a sexy 85/100, the highest score anyone has ever received in the 10+ years of that module being run. I was told shortly after the lecture by my English Literature friends that my ‘performance’ in the lecture was being talked about in other classes. I felt the expected dread at the confirmation that I was receiving attention, however everyone was saying how amazing the lecture was and how people were saying that it was at professor-level. It made me overwhelmingly happy that people enjoyed my lecture, and thus, I discovered a passion for lecturing.

It is funny how much Hamlet has influenced my career. Firstly it influenced me into acting, and when that was no longer possible, it influenced me into lecturing. And lecturing is a type of performance of course, especially since I script out most of my lectures. Despite not being an actor, I am still a performer. Just an academic one. And to a much smaller and more niche audience than a successful actor would, so dealing with attention is much, much more manageable. It’s the sensible option, but still an option that makes me infinitely excited for the future.

Last week, I was approached by an old college friend who, upon reading my ‘Graduating- A W For The Working Class’ blog post (www.chestnutscoop.com/post/gra… ), invited me to a lecturing role at her academic charity. I would be lecturing English Literature and student life to an audience of northern 16-18 year olds from poor family backgrounds, to help and encourage them to apply to the top UK universities. I myself coming from a poor northern family background, never got offered this support, and so I leapt on the opportunity to help give it to others. To make a difference like this in a young person’s life means so much to me, as it means that the working class are winning. University is not just for the rich anymore- it’s for all of us. And I want to help facilitate that in any way I can, and if that means giving some lectures about Shakespeare, it’s perfect for me!
I will perform my first lecture and seminar at a world-class institution in a couple of months time, and this will be the new turning point in getting me into lecturing. I am so excited to get started, albeit nervous, but I am determined to push through the anxiety and reach my goal. I’m not giving in this time.

And so, I leave this chapter of my life to close, and allow a new one to begin. Some people are cut out for the acting life, and some people are not. Unfortunately, I am not, and that’s something I will need to learn to accept. I can only be grateful that I had this realisation before I got a place at an acting institution, otherwise I would be mourning my wallet lmaoooo. And you know, if I become a Shakespeare academic, there’s nothing stopping me getting involved in Shakespeare productions from an advisory or directory standpoint. Who knows, maybe the Globe Theatre will let a Shakespeare academic have a little backing role in a future Hamlet production. We shall have to wait and see .

Expressing myself through art mediums has always helped me process my thoughts and feelings, and I have been encouraged by my therapist to take this back up and focus more on writing. You will have seen in a few of my latest journal entries about how myself and my therapist have been working through issues using writing specifically, and this time I wanted to pair it with a nice lil render. I had been writing a huge blog post all about me quitting acting and going into a lot more detail the reasons why I left acting, but alas… fear. It’s hard for me to talk about past experiences and my medical conditions for fear of what others will think or say, and while I am dedicated to pushing through the anxiety and all the baggage that comes with it, I decided this time that a shorter, more general writing such as this was more appropriate. The length of that blog post would not have fitted into the DA description anyway haha. I’ve put that blog post in my ‘on ice’ folder, and maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to publish it.

—----------------------------

The description for this post is long, even long by my standards lmaooooo, and I know that it’s so far been quite melancholy, very sadge and all that, so allow me to lighten the mood by talking about the construction of this MMD artwork.

Surprisingly, creating this piece was pretty easy. It took me a few days thinking of the concept, eventually basing it on with a famous screencap from Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’ which I absolutely adore. It was gonna be between this concept and this one: www.alamy.com/laurence-olivier… , and as much as I looooooove this screencap, the close up one with the skull was more emotive for me.

The render represents the sadness of me leaving acting and never getting to play Hamlet, but also the happiness of discovering a different kind of performing in lecturing Shakespeare, which was kicked off by Hamlet. I wanted this render to mark a turning point in my life, to which I will (hopefully) be able to accept my decision to retire as an actor, and embrace my decision to commit fully to academic lecturing.

Finding a good skull to use was very difficult, and I wish there was one more available that was destroyed, like the one from Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’. Alas, this was the most realistic one I could find that was F2U, so I added some decay normalmaps and thought it good. Because this skull is much bigger than the one Olivier uses, I had to change the finger pose around a little, and I was left with the pinky being quite forward in front of the skull’s face. Naturally, I thought: “If I were holding the skull like this, what would I do with the pinky?”, and the pinky goes right in the eye socket lmaoooo. I think it emphasises a bit of the grotesque element of the context of the scene (this is where Hamlet discovers his old court jester being dug up, so like this is a fresh skull), so it works.

I decided to divert a little bit to the stage lighting Olivier uses in the screencap, as much as I loved the shadows on his cheek and in the eye sockets of the skull, it didn’t look right in the render. Instead, I’ve gone for a strong spotlight shining on the tops of the heads, with a basic pointlight shining from just below their faces. This still casts some dramatic shadows, but in the reverse way to the concept.

I actually brought construction elements that Olivier used in ‘Hamlet’ into the construction of this artwork, particularly the colours. In ‘Hamlet’, although a black and white film, still uses colour in order to generate the perfect shades of grey for the camera. I have done exactly the same here, with the model’s hair being closer to blonde than my normal ginger, the skull actually being blue, the backdrop being yellow, and the eye whites of the model using an emissive blue shader. If I turned the black and white filter off, it would definitely be a different experience hahaha.

And finally, I had fantasised about modelling the outfit that ‘Hamlet’ wears during the player scenes, which consists of lots of Mediaeval jewellery, sashes and more, however with my limited modelling skills, I decided to keep in the tradition of my self-model pieces, and just change my jumper colour. I chose black as black is most often used in the theatre, one can just slap on some black trousers and a black shirt and that be one’s costume. I feel like it’s more authentic than trying to copy every element of Olivier’s Hamlet.

Credits:
Model- Chestnutscoop Self Model, there’s a lot to credit so please see this extensive post: www.deviantart.com/chestnutsco…
Skull- printable_models, Chestnutscoop
Backdrop- ChrisFiedler , Chestnutscoop
Effects- rui, ikeno, Chestnutscoop, filterforge
Concept- Inspired by the Laurence Olivier’s ‘Hamlet’: brilliantdisguises.blogspot.co….

Models edited in PMXE_0254f (© Inochi-PM and 極北P / Kyokuhoku- P)
Rendered in MikuMikuDanceE_v932x64 (© Yu Higuchi)
Plugin MMEffect v037x64 (© BuryokuKainyuu-P)
Processed in Photoshop 21.1.1 (© Adobe)

If you enjoy my work, you can support me by donating to my Coffee Page! ~<3

Visit my website: www.chestnutscoop.com/

NicoNico | BowlRoll | Discord: chestnutscoop#9443 | Twitter | YouTube | www.themmearchive.com/