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There is a deep fundamental and philosophical difference between SpongeBob Squarepants and Edward Cullen. Something relevant to our attitudes as storytellers. We should look toward cartoons for a lesson that writers these days seem to have forgotten, which is part of the reason we have so many problems like Mary Sues in books today.

There is something about SpongeBob, which is, in his essence, more respectable than Edward Cullen or many main characters of modern YA books. It has to do with basic virtues and an undervalue of true comedic spirit while we’re distracted writing melodramatic or angsty fanfiction. Morals are important. The creators of SpongeBob have at least one virtue the author of Twilight does not: humility.

Humor comes from something being humiliated, which is why it’s often associated with what is forbidden. We laugh when we are getting away with something. In Twilight the tone of the novel allows room for nothing but admiration, and the slightest hint of dishonor reveals there was nothing worth admiring. The whole story easily becomes a joke. We would laugh at Edward slipping on a banana peel; when it comes to disgracing SpongeBob, it would take more than that. From this example, it is evident that he is the one with more dignity.

(For another example, make a slideshow of each character with circus music in the background. Which one was funnier?)

Clowns are the most humble, but not all characters have to be clowns. However, they won’t avoid being one by only pretending they’re not.

It gets trickier when we are blinded with narcissism, and believe we are laughing at something when we secretly aren’t. Mary Sues and self-inserts are often disguised as funny clowns. But a narcissist is always there to build himself up, despite having sneaky ways of doing so.

Think of characters like Anna from Frozen, Mabel from Gravity Falls, Star from Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, or Haruhi from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

They allow us to laugh at them. However, they do not allow us to look down on them. They do laughable things because it makes them cute. Their failures of action are triumphs of image. The paradox is that they aren’t showoffs, because they’re “unaware” they’re doing things to be cute. It’s forced by the creators who enjoy these characters because they are attracted to that kind of attention themselves. Fans also appreciate these characters out of a desire for their glory more than because these characters are funny. The real world does not complement such images, and modern cartoons (and memes) don’t do much besides promote delusional and unhealthy arrogance.

SpongeBob remains the only character mentioned who allows us to sincerely mock him. He is based in an intrinsic humility, which is beyond the grasp of self absorbed writers of new books and cartoons.

Characters must always be “like ourselves” for narcissists to enjoy. This is different from the healthy way all characters we write are “like ourselves” to a degree. It’s treated as a promotion of self, instead of an element of realism. There may be nothing real or sincere about it.

SpongeBob is not like anybody. He is like himself. Because we can’t relate to him, we appreciate and value him more when he embarrasses himself. Because he’s not wise, and because we’re allowed to admit it, he offers a certain type of comradeship you won’t have with a Mary Sue. We might decide he’s annoying, but he never feels like a tyrant.

In the end, humility is a realistic view of ourselves, or as writers, a realistic view of our creations. Tolkien was not thinking of Gandalf as his self-insert when he set the tone for respect. He was not trying to create an ideal boyfriend or character who must be respected just because the author said so. Gandalf is simply a respectable person. Tolkien’s efforts went into writing wisdom, not romanticizing it. He didn’t build a distorted world to fit his characters; he built characters that fit real life. Most authors of modern fiction do the opposite. In The Girl Who Could Fly, Piper McCloud's world is contrived and shallow while all surrounding characters are zombies who make her look whimsical in contrast.

The only way to write humbly is by mocking your characters as much as possible. “As much as possible,” are crucial words. For some characters this might mean not at all. But we are not honest about reality if we glorify or treat faults as normal. The more a character’s faults are portrayed justly the better any story will be. Allowing some distance between ourselves and our characters is necessary, lest the characters become like spoiled brats.

Look at your character and think how easy they are to make fun of and why. Are your grandchildren going to respect them? Would your brothers and sisters make fun of them? Is there a reason you don't like showing your stories to your family that's possibly not just because "they don't care about my interests"? (Are you really just afraid they're going to knock down your house of straw)? There can be ways to achieve universal appeal that are better than others, and cartoonists are onto something. I recommend reading The Illusion of Life, by the old Disney animators to see their unique perspective on storytelling. I would also ponder the success of Diary of a Wimpy Kid in contrast with its narcissistic counterpart Dork Diaries.

Thanks for reading, debate me or put long-winded theories in the comments. I love hearing ideas about storytelling.