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fuxfell — Memory Lane, Chapter 13
Published: 2009-04-15 09:39:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 372; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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FriendsWhen evening fell and they found a spot to camp for the night, Lana had to admit she felt glad they weren’t at odds anymore.
Just glaring at each other silently is too damn uncomfortable.
Not that they were talking much as it was, but this kind of silence she did not mind. She smiled at Bishop when he handed her a piece of the game he had shot earlier. Her stomach growled as she bit into the tender, juicy meat.
Karnwyr whined and put his head onto her knee. She patted his head and handed him a morsel, which he gorged down in no time. Somehow she was relieved the wolf was not cross with her anymore, too.
You’re off your rockers, if you start caring what furry thinks of you.
“You’re spoiling his table manners”, Bishop’s disapproving voice reached her ear.
She grinned at him. “I’m doing it for your sake, because it must be so embarrassing that he’s got better manners than you. This way, the contrast will be less striking.”
He chuckled and snapped his fingers. Karnwyr got up and went over to the ranger, lying down at the side of his master.
“Guess I’ll have to keep him away from you, then”, Bishop said and bit into his own piece of game.
A large paw came to rest on his knee, and the wolf looked up at him imploringly.
“What are you, a lapdog?”, the ranger said, disgusted. “Go find your own, spoiled cur. Or at least wait until we are finished.”
Karnwyr got up, shook himself, so that hair coming loose from his pelt rained all over Bishop and his meal. Then the wolf jumped away, turned back once to grin at his cursing master, and disappeared into the dark.
“I can’t believe he just did that!”, Bishop said, regarding his hairy meat with misgivings.
Lana was laughing so hard she nearly fell over. “Guess that will be his piece in the end”, she wheezed.
Grumbling, Bishop helped himself to another piece of game, but Lana could see the twinkle in his eyes.
Lana was frantically hacking away at the statue in front of her. Behind her, there was the clashing of weapons, the clanking of armour, the sizzle of magic, the twanging of bows and the cries of pain.
I have to be faster! Every second might cost a life... why won’t this damn thing break?
She cursed, sweat beading on her forehead, while she brought the sword down on the statue. Another crack in the stone, but still it would not fall.
She let out a frustrated yell, fear for her friends heavy in her chest, when hands grabbed her shoulders and shook her.
What...?
The sound of the battle vanished and was replaced by the chirping of crickets and the sound of leaves rustling in the wind. Lana opened her eyes to find Bishop’s face looming above her with a concerned expression. She blinked and tried to shake the fog that seemed to surround her mind.
“You were moaning and tossing in your sleep. Was it the dream again?”, Bishop asked.
Dream...?
And suddenly, she was back in the present. Oh yes, the dream. She was in the woods with Bishop. And the dream had found her two nights in a row. It had been a long time since it had plagued her that often. She shivered.
Please, gods, I don’t want to dream anymore. I can’t stand to watch him die, over and over again... please, make it stop.
The shivering increased, and she could do nothing against it. She felt Bishop’s arms go around her, holding her against his body, stroking her hair. He said nothing, just held her, and she closed her eyes, leaning against his chest, feeling his warmth seep through the chill that always gripped her during the dream. The shivering abated a bit.
“Yes”, she said hoarsely, her voice muffled against his chest. “It was the dream again. Thanks for waking me up before... it got really bad.”
His fingers stroked the tender skin of her neck. “Shall I stay?”, he asked softly.
She looked up at him, searching his face, but found nothing but concern there.
“No ulterior motives, I promise”, he said with a slight smile, as if he had read her thoughts.
She stared at him for a few seconds more, then lay back onto her sleeping mat. “Yes”, she whispered. “Please stay.”
It just felt too good to be held. She had had to be strong for so long. She was tired of it. After all that time, the warmth and comfort she was offered was hard to resist. Even if it was only Bishop.
He lay down next to her and drew her back at his chest, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Are you going to bite my nose off again tomorrow?”, he asked, and she could hear the smile in his voice.
“If you behave yourself, I’ll try not to”, she answered, a smile on her face as well. “But I’m not making any promises.”
Lana could hear laughter rumbling in his chest. “I would not have believed you anyway”, he said. Settling down, his face came to rest against her hair. “Go back to sleep”, he said.
She snuggled up at him, closing her eyes. Oh yes, it felt so good.
Soon, she found sleep tugging at her again, feeling safe and warm in his arms. And the dream did not come back that night.
When she woke, she opened her eyes to find herself looking into Bishop’s face, his honey coloured eyes regarding her with a smile.
“Sleep better?”, he asked.
She yawned and smiled at him. “Yes”, she said. “Much better. Thank you for being there.”
He pressed a kiss on her forehead, sat up and stretched. He got up, holding out his hand to her to help her to her feet as well.
“Don’t thank me”, he said. “Isn’t that what friends are there for?”
She stared up at him, his handsome face with the perpetual stubble that gave him a somewhat roguish look, his short, messy mahogany hair, his soft mouth and his strange, beautiful eyes. It somehow was as if she saw him, really saw him, for the first time.
Friends?
She smiled at him, took his hand and let him draw her to her feet. “Yes”, she answered, her voice soft. “That’s what friends are for.”
Friends.
Now, how did that happen?
The next two nights, Bishop just put his blankets next to hers and drew her to him without even asking. Lana debated with herself whether or not to chase him off, but in the end gave in to her own weakness.
She wanted to be held. She wanted to be comforted. So what the hell. And she did not want to dream anymore. If being cuddled held the dream at bay, screw morals.
And Bishop, true to his word, did not do anything else but hold her.
The second morning, Lana woke up first. She opened her eyes and looked at his face, so close to hers. His eyes were closed, his features relaxed and peaceful in his sleep. Lying on his side, one arm was under his head like a cushion, the other draped over her waist.
She felt the strange urge to let her hand glide over the inevitable stubble on his cheeks.
Lana mentally shook herself. What was that about?
His eyes opened, even lighter than usual after sleep, more yellow than their normal amber. Looking more like wolf eyes than ever. He smiled at her.
“You tensed”, he said. “It woke me. Everything alright?”
Hells, always alert, is he?
“We’re going to reach Crossroad Keep today”, she said, avoiding his question. “Aren’t you nervous?”
He sat up, his fingers running through his short, soft hair.
“Yes”, he said, averting his eyes. “I am. No, if I’m honest, it’s more than that. I’m afraid.”
She sat up, too, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Afraid of Garius?”, she asked.
He shrugged. “What I know of him, he was a dangerously powerful wizard. I would have to be mad not to fear him.” He faltered, then continued, his voice low. “But that’s not it. I wanted my memories back. But now...”
He turned his head to look at her and she could see the unease in his eyes. “I’m afraid of what I will remember. You have told me some pretty bad things. But what if there is more? Things you don’t know, can’t tell me about? Things so bad I won’t be able to handle them?”
She thought about that for a moment. He had a point. There probably was more. He never had been very forthcoming about his past, but that other ranger, Malin, had hinted at some pretty bad things. Hells only knew what else he might have done.
“We don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to”, she said. “It’s your decision. You can leave your past behind, completely, have a fresh start. Maybe it’s more a chance than a curse?”
He stared at her, then grinned. “Now, you’re scaring me”, he said. “So wise all of a sudden? Who are you, and what have you done with Lana?”
She punched him on the arm, but had to grin as well. “Stop making fun of me. I can think, if I try really hard, you know?”
He shook his head. “You’re just full of surprises.”
She stuck out her tongue at him, and he grinned again, but the mirth fled his eyes quickly.
“No”, he said, serious again. “I have to do this. After what you told me, there might be any number of old enemies waiting around, just hoping to see me again. Look what happened with Jaluth, only because I did not know I better avoid Luskans. If I stumble over any of them, I better recognise who they are. Plus, if Jaluth is still on my heels, and she did not seem the type to give up easily, anything I remember about her might help. Not remembering my past is just too dangerous.” He paused. “But I’m still afraid of what I’ll find”, he concluded, his voice barely audible.
Her hand slipped into his and squeezed it. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it”, she said.
He looked into her face. “We?”, he asked.
Lana nodded. “Yes, we”, she said, smiling at him. “I’ll help you deal. I’ll be there. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Bishop smiled back, and it seemed to light up his whole face. “Yes”, he said. “We’re friends.”
Late afternoon found Lana and Bishop looking at the walls of Crossroad Keep, looming in the distance. Maybe two more hours to go.
The sight made Lana’s heart wrench for so many reasons. First, there were all the memories the place held. Memories of happy times, even with the danger that loomed. Time spent with friends, laughing, planning, relaxing, fighting. And most of all, time spend with Casavir. Talking, cuddling, making love.
It still hurt. But somehow, the pain seemed to have lost a bit of its edge, was less sharp. More of a dull throbbing.
Why is that?
Had she started to deal with her pain? Was that it? Was she moving on? The thought held a pain of its own, and brought a wave of guilt. Did she want to move on? Leave Casavir behind? How could she live, when he had died? How could she even want to live?
On top of that was the guilt she felt for deserting her post like she had done. Leaving all her duties behind. Leaving her friends behind, her friends that worried and cared for her, without even a word. Oh, she had left a note, but she did not have the balls to talk to them face to face. She had just fled. The coward’s way out.
Too much guilt. She could not bear it. It was suffocating her. So she did what she did best: Turned it into anger. Staring ahead, she let the fury rise, fury at Garius, because somehow, she could not seem to get rid of the bastard. She had killed him twice, but still he came back to make her life difficult.
This time, he forced her to come back to this place, forced her to face it again, to feel all that guilt.
You just wait, you piece of shit. We’ll bring you back, and I will kill you again. Third time’s a charm. Let’s see if you can come back to hound me after that!
She turned to Bishop, who was staring ahead with fear and insecurity obvious on his face.
“Don’t piss your pants, wolf boy”, she snarled. “The walls won’t bite. Let’s wait here for nightfall, I’m not keen on being seen hereabouts, and believe me, your face won’t earn you a warm welcome either. When it’s dark, we’ll get to the graves, raise that bastard Garius, kill him again, and be done with it.”
She let herself fall down and took her water skin, taking a long swig. Damned heat.
Bishop looked at her with a what-bit-you-this-time expression, but wisely refrained from commenting. Instead, he sat down next to her, wordlessly, offering some water to Karnwyr before drinking himself.
Lana glared ahead at the Keep, gnashing her teeth. Oh yes, a few hours staring at those walls, and she would be just in the right mood to deal with Garius.
Time crept by at a snail’s pace as they sat in the shade of the last trees before the woods gave way to open land and fields. The hot fury Lana had felt had turned into a silent fuming as she kept gazing over the farmland that separated them from the Keep. Bishop had not said a single word, but sat with his back to a tree trunk, fletching some arrows. Karnwyr lay by his side, head on his paws, fast asleep.
Will that blasted sun ever set?
She willed the ball of light to travel the sky faster, willed it to sink to the horizon, swearing under her breath, but the sun seemed completely unimpressed as it continued its slow course over the afternoon sky.
Bishop kept throwing her glances as she sat, silently seething, her anger like a small dark storm cloud over head. She could have sworn she heard him snicker once or twice, but when she turned to snap at him, his face was absolutely neutral, with no trace of amusement, his eyes trained on the arrow he was working on.
So she was left with gnashing her teeth and cursing the sun, as he did not seem willing to offer her the opportunity to pour out the bowl of her wrath over his head.
At last, after what seemed days, but were only hours, the sky darkened and dusk was falling. Lana hopped up, immensely relieved that the waiting and inactivity were over.
“Let’s go”, she said briskly, “We have some hours to walk, so when we arrive, it will be fully dark.”
“And how will we get into the Keep, to the graves?”, Bishop asked.
She grinned at him, her anger dwindling now that she was not condemned to inactivity anymore. “You think we buried those bastards inside, in the graveyard? Hardly. We threw them in a hole outside, next to the walls of the Keep. So if we approach quietly, hopefully we will not be seen from the walls while we look for our dear friend Garius. There are some things I’d just love to say to his face.” She cracked her knuckles.
He returned her grin. “If I were him, I would be shaking in my grave”, he said.
Carefully, they made their way across the darkening fields, approaching the Keep from the side where Lana knew the graves to be. They were unmarked, so they would have some digging to do, but she was confident she would be able to remember where they were pretty accurately.
They reached the foot of the walls seemingly without having been noticed. At least, no one had called out to them. Lana stepped close to Bishop, so he could hear her as she whispered: “The graves are here somewhere. Give me a moment, I will try to remember exactly where they are.”
Bishop grinned, his white teeth shimmering in the dark. “Don’t bother”, he whispered back. “Karnwyr will be able to smell them, won’t you, boy?” He patted the wolf’s head, who panted and looked up at his master adoringly.
Lana felt like smacking her forehead. “Of course”, she said quietly. “Do you think he will be able to smell which one is Garius’ grave, as well?”
“I don’t know”, the ranger answered. “Has he met him?”
Lana nodded. “He fought with us when we confronted Garius here in the Keep.”
“Then it should be no problem.” Bishop crouched down in front of his wolf, taking his face into his hands. “What do you think, cur?”
Karnwyr’s tongue lolled out and he seemed to grin.
“Great”, Bishop said, scratching the wolf’s ears. “Then start earning your food, like a good little doggie.”
Karnwyr turned around so fast his tail caught Bishop across the face and bounded up to the walls, starting to sniff along them. Lana repressed a giggle while the ranger got back to his feet, sputtering.
“Maybe you should have given him that piece of game, after all”, she said.
After some moments, they saw Karnwyr bouncing excitedly up and down on a spot some yards away. The wolf did not make any noise. He really seemed more intelligent than a lot of people Lana had known. She and Bishop hurried over to where Karnwyr was waiting.
“That it?”, Bishop said, and Karnwyr panted. “You sure?”, the ranger asked again. “It would be bad if we used the scroll and raised the wrong person, you know?”
The wolf gave him what seemed a very haughty look and stalked away.
“He’s sure”, Bishop said to Lana.
She grinned. “This time, no translation was necessary”, she answered. Then she stared at the patch of ground at her feet, her amusement dissipating. “You ready to do this?”, she asked.
She heard him inhale sharply, and his hand snuck into hers, his fingers lacing with hers. “I’m ready”, he whispered.
