HOME | DD
Balletbabymari — Incubi
Published: 2004-06-11 01:53:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 322; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 27
Redirect to original
Description
He shuddered like a man on his death bed,watching those dark thoughts infest his sad head.
They muttered secrets he kept from his wife,
they saw his affair and his other life.
They kissed his dreams with his own wicked lies,
fastened to his mind, and never untied.
He missed when the incubi ignored him,
but they swore the man would retain his sin.
Imps by the thousands poured guilt in his blood,
it thickened with hurt to deep painful mud.
He tried to move, but his muscles were scorn,
and in each second more hate thoughts were born.
The man had no choice, the fiends ruled madly.
Always he suffered, his mind never free.
The scamp-trolls decided to bite and shove,
and goblins of hatred stole all his love.
The memory demons played with his brain
until he merely felt badness and pain.
His vanity stabbed, he finally cried.
The demons pierced him again while he died.
Related content
Comments: 32
Oooo.... very nice.. I truly had no idea what incubus means. I liked how you got the point across and kept your ryhme and rhythm going. Strange topic thought!! How did you come across it? Then again most of us have strange minds (nuff said). Very very nice... and once again revealing a different facet of your mad poetry skills.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks... I listening to a song by the Mountain Goats (my brother's favorite band) that had a line "he trembled like a dying man"... or something like that. I really loved that simile, so i used a version of it for the first line. The rest is purely my imagination.
I miss talking to ya on msn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
(come back for another read) man that would be the SUCKIEST end to a life. especially with a guilty conscience.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol, i'm glad you came to read it again.
p.s. NEVER EVER CHEAT ON ANYBODY (THIS GOES TO ANYONE), BECAUSE IF YOU DO, MY DEMONS AND I WILL COME KILL YOU IN THE NIGHT!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
if i cheat. i think my own demons would kill me first. all ud find is a nasty mess on the floor when u get 2 me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
incubus- dereiving from incubate, to keep something favorable, or of a preferred nature. I find the title in ways an irony and yet appropriate to the subject matter of ur poem, if u know wha I mean.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
you got the root right, but the meaning is either a rapist demon who descends on victims while they sleep, a nightmare, or a nightmarish burden. Succubi are similar, but have different targets. thanks for the
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
no problem. hmm I think then it must have a different meaning in USA cause i just got that out of the dictionary 
hold on. Incubi is a name. sorry, I was thinking of incubus.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Damn that's scary..reminded me of ...the burning depths of the underworld..
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol, don't faint!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i like ur poem! i wish i could write that good!!!!!! ^_^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you very much. i bet you're better than you think. i'll read some of your work if it's posted.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
havent posted much actually only one gacky thing ......but hey ur awesome keep up the great awesome work i really like it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks, i just checked out your poem. it's a little rough in places, but it's definately got a great idea behind it and some good rhymes.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
do u have aim? maybe sometime u could HELP me with this poetry stuff cuz i really do need help lol AH lol well im getting kicked ofline so ttyl maybe lol bye
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
do u have aim? maybe sometime u could HELP me with this poetry stuff cuz i really do need help lol AH lol well im getting kicked ofline so ttyl maybe lol bye
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
beautiful job. It never really mattered to me what incubus was but i looked it up and know now. lol
with this line
"it thicked with hurt to deep painful mud"
it would sound better if you said thickened since thicked really isn't a word [i don't think...lol]
but anyways, great poem! I loved it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks so much... i just realized i typed "thicked" 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're welcome, it was an awesome poem
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
thank you. do you know what incubi are?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Don't know if I'm correct, but I -believe- an Incubus is a demon, usually taking male form, that descends on people (particularly women) and either rapes them or induces enticing dreams and such.
Don't know if I'm right, just guessing off the top of my head. ;D
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol, that's a perfect definition. it can also be a nightmare of the sort.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Was this piece based on a nightmare?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
no, lol, but i'm really glad i didn't have any nightmares like this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nothing wrong with that.
One of my favorite lines is by Clawfinger, which is "I only believe in the things I can see, and the things I can achieve", which I've kind of made my own as well.
I really like the way you phrased the piece though, it has a way of having one little thing that someone may have done and that's how it associates itself with it's readers... meaning that everyone's done something wrong that they could see themselves being punished for.
Once again, good work.
*poke* By the way... nothing you write from the heart is -stupid-.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
it thicked with hurt to deep painful mud.
aside from this one line, which sounded a little too forced, this was an awesome poem...reminded me of like an 18-rated version of the opening scene from labyrinth...damned good, it had tension and that, it caught in my throat...
also, i know what an incubus is ^_^ so there
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i figured you, of anyone, would know the definition of incubus.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0