robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-07-12 06:49:55 +0000 UTC]

Ah! This is one of my favorite songs from the first game! The cover is lovely~
As amazing as it is though, nothing can top the original. I am so in love with Emi Evans' voice, haha.

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robotfish In reply to frozenpandaman [2017-05-08 18:09:31 +0000 UTC]

It's still here! c:
 Hello, goodbye, my memory  

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frozenpandaman In reply to robotfish [2017-08-13 18:24:46 +0000 UTC]

awesome! really love it. thanks for the link.

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robotfish In reply to PratiwiPutri [2017-03-04 01:18:54 +0000 UTC]

I'm happy to hear that, thanks! I'm bad at keeping up with  multiple accounts, so I just stick with dA, since I've used it longer than anything else. Thanks for taking the time to look for me though! I'm always excited to meet other Laurants. ♥

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SkyAboveUs In reply to SkyAboveUs [2016-12-24 00:04:58 +0000 UTC]

Heyo!  Now they are having a deal for a free calendar, notepad, memory game, or playing cards with the code: INEEDIT ending Saturday night at midnight...  I got the calendar and the shipping and handling ended up being $7 at the end.  

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2016-12-27 03:43:08 +0000 UTC]

Aw man, the calendar would have been neat, I saw the comment before the offer ended but I didn't feel like putting anything together. Maybe next year! I still kinda want to make some art specifically for a calendar, but I know I wouldn't be able to finish a project like that. Thanks for letting me know though! The plaque looks neat and it is in the size I need, but I just need a normal print! I have no room anywhere for something like that, especially since my figures came in last Friday! I've taken pictures but I need to blur out some personal info and resize before posting, haha.  Btw I keep forgetting to say this, but your Christmas icon is so cute! I'm in the mood to draw so I'm gonna hurry off now before it either gets too late, or I loose that motivation! Sorry for putting off replying agaaiiin but this kind of mood is rare lately so I need to take advantage of it!

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2016-12-30 09:15:25 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, okay, I'll just look out for the normal print deals for you then.  Oooh, did you end up drawing something nice?  I've been drawing a lot lately, but nothing that's blowing my mind.  A lot of practice sketches that I pray will all be worth the effort eventually. The only thing I've really be inspired to do lately is read Yuri on Ice fanfic, haha.  I LOVE THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH AND THERE ARE SO MANY TALENTED WRITERS IN THE FANDOM.  I tried to start my own, BUT MY SISTER DOESN'T LIKE IT.  She didn't even get through the first page though.  She was like, "THIS IS TOO LONG WHAT KIND OF FAN FIC IS THIS".  I was like WHAT?  I love the epic long ones.  I've found two AMAZInnggggg fan fics that I can't get out of my head.  I want to reread them, but one isn't even FINISHED so it's AGONY WAITING.  OTL  But back to art: I got a prismacolor marker set for Christmas that I am really liking though!  They blend so smoothly!  It's a lot more like painting than I had anticipated.  And then I can draw all Yuri on Ice everyday all day, ahaha.  

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-01-27 19:52:37 +0000 UTC]

Ah. I struggled a lot with what I was working on, and I can't tell if I made it better or worse, but it's done and I'm not going back to it. I don't feel like starting anything new just yet though.

Yuri on Ice sure is popular, but I... *covers your ears* really don't get the hype, haha.  I'm still on episode 8 and I just have no motivation to watch it, I don't care about the characters at all. But I might as well finish it since there's only 4 episodes left. Actually I haven't been watching much anime at all, even though I have more free time now. I've been playing Nier instead! I've wanted to play it for such a long time, so since Automata's release is coming up, I finally got a hold of it. I played through Drakengard (just the first one) and then started Nier. I am loving it so far! And, I've always heard people say the soundtrack is so good, and they are right. It's amazing. This is the reason I haven't been online much this month. I'M TRYING TO SAVE MY SICK DAUGHTER. ;_;

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-02-02 07:45:09 +0000 UTC]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  MY HEARTTTTT.  I can't go on anymore.  THE WORLD IS GETTING DARKRRRR.  
Just kidding.
That's still so strange to me that you don't like Yuri on Ice, like..I keep thinking back to the whole show and I can't even imagine what there is not to like about it, but I guess that's what makes the world so interesting!!  Such varying tastes!  But oh man, I'm still into it way too deep.  I've never loved anything as much as Yuri on Ice.  I was thinking about it the other day, and I think a lot of the love I have for it stems from fan fiction and fan art and the whole fanbase community.  Everyone is so sweet and kind to each other and everyone is just happy and excited about everything relating to it, so it's just very pleasant to hang out in these communities.  I've even written some fan fic for it myself and everyone's so pleasant in the comments, it makes me very happy.  But I think the maiiiin thing I love about it is....LOVE.  HAHA.  I don't want to give away spoilers...I'm not sure how much you know of what you haven't seen yet.  Buutuututututut just...it's so precious and heartwarming seeing two lost and lonely people bonding over something they both love and then falling in love.  SO PURE.  SO PRECIOUS.  There are just so many forms of love in it.  It's so positive.  It's even more heartwarming that it's in a world where no one hates on them for both being males and it's not like OOh, GAYS, you know? It's like...just two people in love.  Simple.  Pure.  No one treats it like some taboo or interesting deviation, it's just what it is.  And it feels so freeing and like a burden has been lifted in this Yuri on Ice world.  Someplace people aren't judged for doing something as innocent as loving each other.  Ahh...I dn't feel like I'm explaining my love for it well enough.  I am not good with words.  There are like fifty billion beyond great metas out there that really explain things right.  And they go through like EVERY little detail of the show and the creators really put a ton of effort into every little thing!  It's amazing to see people find things I would've never figured out myself.  I was watching it episode by episode, so each week, people who just go nuts over trying to figure out what went on next and what each little thing in the previous episodes meant.  It was really cool actually.  Such detectives out there...

But in any case, I really relate to both Yuuri and Viktor's little quirks and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and just wish them HAPPINESS.  Viktor is so adorable and happy and cheerful all the time and such a surprising dork?  I thought he'd be super cool being this LEGEND and all that, but really he's just a humongous dog-loving puppy himself, knocking my expectations out of the water.  SO PRECIOUSLY HUMAN.  And Yuuri with his anxiety and somehow finding himself in this impossible situation with his idol in his home, coaching him, and able to get step over his fears and inhibitions to try hard at what he loves.  I love his Yuri on Ice song so much.  I play it nearly everyday on the piano and sometimes I get so overcome by emotion I have to stop midway to wipe my face, haha.  And the show has literally made me happier since watching it.  Like.  It fills my heart thinking of them.  Another thing...harder to explain...like...they feel like...family.  I dunno.  That's not what I mean.  I guess it's best to say they fill a hole in my heart.  I feel like I'm now restlessly searching for one less thing.  And it makes me feel a little more warm, a little less decrepit and useless and a lot more hopeful about what's out in the world.  It's amazing to see how well the series has been doing and how loud and positive the reception has been!  It's kind of breathtaking to know there are other people in the world who want and love and appreciate a world like this.  Especially with all the garbage going on right now.  Yuri on Ice is like my safe place that reminds me this isn't all there is.  Where they're just sweet and gentle and caring and supportive and all friends and sobsssss..  

Anyway, I don't think that explained anything at all and I probably just sounded stupid, but I hope I didn't bore you too much.  I'm not trying to convince you to like it, haha, but maybe now it's a bit clearer why I do?  PROBABLY LESS CLEAR, haha.  I feel like I was just talking in circles.  In some ways, though, it makes me sad too because all the love I feel from the show is totally absent in reality.  For now...????  sobs more.

Oh, Nier!  I saw some art for Automata and thought it looked really cool.  I like the little blindfolded boy, haha.  And their tiny little arms and legs.  I want to play it someday.  I have been playing FFXV nonstop even though I've already finished it.  Did I already asked if you were playing it or thinking of playing it?  I really like it.  A lot.  Though right now I'm wasting a ton of my time trying to get some glitch to work so I can phase through the ground or wall or anywhere and be able to explore this land that is otherwise unexploreable, but I swear it's impossible.  People have videos but I don't know how they're doing it!  I've been trying for hours!!  The same boss, the same moves, over and over.  Oh my word.  Is it even worth it at this point?  I dunno.  The music for that game is also very beautiful.  But so totally sad.  I'm trying not to watch or listen to sad things anymore....well, I say that, but I literally just got my ipod out to listen to the soundtrack which is so depressing.  THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE, especially the second part:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni9myp…
BUT.  I am proud to announce that there's this manga I really liked featuring a bunch of different artists that was a beautifully drawn collection of stories about suicide that I have not read ALL. MONTH.  Even though it's been updating.  I want to keep this Yuri on Ice high and not let it go.  But they were mostly really well written...so I'm kinda like...wanting to read it but NO.  NOT THIS TIME, SADNESS.  ...But the music I must listen to.  So beautifullll....  I don't feel like this soundtrack is appreciated half as much as it should be!  Barely any piano covers on youtube!!!  WHAT IS THIS.  ...But back to the song...
They have other versions of both parts of the song but this one is like...so slow and heartbreaking and beautiful and haghrgghhhh.  I love how the music is just SWEELLLIIINNGGG at the end and then SNAP.  SUDDENLY---NOTHING---  And then this soft floating sigh.  Gets me every time.  I thought I wasn't going to like the soundtrack since Yoko Shimomura did it, but it turns out she's amazing for this and maybe it's just Kingdom Hearts' bouncy kiddy theme I'm not totally fond of as far as music goes. 

Did you see the new image for FFVII?  I'm excited for that too...but really hoping they change their mind about splitting it into three parts. OTL

And by the way, random, but have you ever seen this?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh5LY4…

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-02-22 06:14:14 +0000 UTC]

It took me forever to finish the last four episodes, I just watched the last one last night, haha. It just wasn't my cup of tea! Maybe it's just me but I felt like half the series was Yuri skating the same routine almost every episode with inner monologue. I also did not care for any of the characters at all, and Yuri was pretty much the only one with any focus and development. It all just seemed bland to me, both the story and characters. And though the love is something you loved about it, I tend to dislike romance and this one did not win me over. No wait, it's not that I dislike all romance. How do I explain it...I usually don't like romance-focused stories in a realistic, modern setting. There are always exceptions though.

But I'm glad that you've found something you really love! I might not be able to understand WHY everyone likes Yuri on Ice so much but I definitely understand what it's like to have that kind of love for something, and it is a wonderful thing to have. I think everyone should have something like that. For me it's (surprise surprise!) Sound Horizon. There have been times where it's the one thing that gets me through the day, that keeps me from just falling apart. It gives me that warmth and hope that you're talking about, it fills my heart. It's kind of funny though because Sound Horizon is so tragic most of the time! But that's one of the things I love about it.

AH, NIER WAS SO GOOD. I finished the game and got all four endings. I cried. I can't wait for Automata now~ I'm currently playing El Shaddai, picked it up solely because it was cheap and the visuals look unique and pretty. It's interesting. Ah, FFXV! I'm glad you've finished it so we can freely talk about spoilers, haha. I actually haven't played it myself, but I watched my brother play through it. I was planning on playing it after that, but then Nier got my attention. But finally, an FF that I actually really like! It feels like it's been forever since I could say that. THE ENDING HURT ME. And I love how they used Stand By Me for the credits. ;_; I cried. Damn, it seems like cry at like every game ending don't I? But yeah, the soundtrack was great! I also loved the party (well, Gladio not so much) especially Ignis. IT HURT ME SO MUCH when he became blind. And how Prompto- he is SUCH a good sweet child- was staying by his side and helping him up when he stumbled. ;_; In my brother's game though, it seemed like Prompto's photography skills got worse as he leveled up. He took a close up shot of his own butt once, haha. Ah, and did you watch Kingsglaive too? I don't know if I would have cared so much about Regis and Luna if I hadn't watched that first. I wasn't expecting her to die like that...;_; It was Christmas Eve when my brother got to the part where...I can't remember, either Luna died, or Ignis became blind and we were all upset about it so I told him he ruined Christmas. Then he finished the game on New Year's and it was too sad for us so I told him he ruined New Year's too. Then I ruined Lunar New Year and Valentine's Day with Nier, haha. What is it with all these sad games? I love them but spare my heart for once, can we have an "everyone lives happily ever after" ending next time?

Haha, I haven't seen that before, but thanks for sharing, I love it. Best summary of Japanese history I've ever seen.

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-05-02 04:24:10 +0000 UTC]

Oops, I just realized I asked you about Nier and the answer is in here already, haha.  OTL  Oh, wait.  Nevermind.  I read the next sentence and have realized again that you're talking about the old one, hahaha.  Oops x2.  I really like the soundtrack for Automata...  I haven't listened to it all in case I decide to play it soon...I like to be surprised by the music too.  But what I have heard is very magical.  Kind of reminds me of uh...the Tsubasa composer.  I forget who that is right now.  

FFXV.  Oh, no, I forgot we haven't talked about it.  I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllyyyyyy loved the ending.  Even though it was tragic, I thought it worked really well and it doesn't kill me thinking about it.  Even though it was really sad.  I liked how Luna and Noctis got to end up together...ah, little Noctis is so cute.  When Luna died and they had that cutscene....oh, that hurts me thinking about it, but it was so well done and so beautiful.  I loved everything about that scene.  How he was a child.  "All I wanted was to save you!"  And then how he struggles to reach her even as he grows older...and never gets to her.  That kills me. And how she reappears in the train and he's like, "It hurts so much..."  AJlsfkdjslakjflskdjfasdf AHhghh.  Noctis.  He's so precious.  I want to learn Japanese so I can play the game in Japanese too, haha.  I hear a lot of people complaining about how they changed Noctis' character drastically with the English dubs and how he's more of your typical hero character, whereas the whole point of Noctis is supposed to be this fresh good-willed sort of dorky guy.  I want to see that sort of awkward side of him.  I did really like him in the English one though, so I can't complain from my view point!  My cousin played it in Japanese and he's like "ENGLISH NOCTIS SUCKS!"  I'm like  No.  I also have a crush on Noctis' voice too, so....

One thing that makes me so sad about FFXV is how incomplete it feels.  I wish they had been given more time to smooth out the story and lands accessible.  It was so good the direction they were taking it, it just needs a bit more bridges connecting areas!  I am hoping they'll add more.  Kind of like that weird part they added where Noctis gets separated from Gladio and Ignis.  I like how they showed more of Ravus...that was so sad...but I feel like there are more parts of the story that need filling in.  MAYBE SOON.  

I watched this really interesting theory about like........redos.  Like Noctis' father is actually resetting everything so that Noctis can have a happy ending.  It was a really interesting video.  I'm not entirely sure if I'm completely sold on it, but I like to believe that's the case.  I wonder if I can still find it if you're interested...  ( DID...IT IS:   youtu.be/HGwoRpqJlCs?t=1m37s   ).  You know how at the end, Noctis dies and they show the credits rolling and then you hear them pushing the car like they did in the beginning?  RIGHT??  RIGHT??  GOOSEBUMPS, RIGHT?  And then...how Noctis and Luna are together in the ending...  Instead of like...the afterlife, could it be...ANOTHER FUTURE??  And then this guy talks a lot about the Omens trailer in this video too.  So I guess it goes like...the game is one outcome, but the ending we see with Noctis and Luna is the happy outcome.  I love happy endings, so I can't say no to that.  Oh!  And also, Square Enix had some weird presentation thing where they referred to....wait.  THIS:  pbs-h2.twimg.com/media/C5yrU50…   

ALTERNATE REALITY??!?!?!?!?  ON THE TOP>!>!  Squeak.  Anyway, the video really explains it nicely.  I've forgotten most of the support, but I love the idea.  It makes me feel better, haha, and I love my time loop stuff.  I like that guy's videos actually.  Very interesting.  It makes you realize how much thought they did put into the game.  

HAHA.  I just read you cried during the credits.  SO DID I.  My whole family was in the room and my sister was watching the ending with me and I tried my hardest not to cry, but AGH.  Impossible.  That cutscene during their final campfire...and then when they were pushing the car.  I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it.  And then that STANNNDDD BY MEEEE song that I hated when I first heard it for this game I was now like *SOBBING MESS* at it.  Oh my gosh.  So good.  

I love Ignis.  I was also sad when he became blind, but I thought he'd get his vision back!!  I loved how Prompto was helping too.  He's such a sweetheart.  But Ignis is really kind too.  I didn't care for Gladio as much.  Especially how he kept getting all angry at Noctis' angst after Luna died.  I get both sides, but I felt they didn't really resolve it good enough, so I remained bitter, haha.  I wish they showed him more as his "guard" though.  Like when they were with Titan at the Disc and he was helping Noctis...I liked that.  It made him seem more official rather than just a traveling bud.  HAHA!  Prompto's photo skills.  Yeah, mine were terrible too.  I didn't get a lot of good ones at all and I've played at least 150 hours...  OTL  I keep seeing people get the best photos ever...I dunno how they force him to do it.  Ha!  I did watch Kingsglaive.  My cousin forced me to.  "IT'S CRITICAL!"  Haha.  It was okay, but Luna looked so different from in-game Luna that I have a bit of a hard time connecting the two.  I liked seeing all that though, but I just feel like it didn't need a movie to show it.  It should've been in the game.  A lot more info should've been in the game.  They put a lot of thought into everything  but you have to read it from the guides and stuff???  Which I did.  And I love.  But like...WHY WASN'T IT IN THE GAME??  AGONY.  

I ESPECIALLY love all the stuff about Shiva. Wow.  When I first saw her body in the iceland like that...holy smokes.  I got the chills.  That was so cool.  I don't think I've seen anything like it.  I tried really hard to glitch out of the train stop and down to land to explore around her body.  But I couldn't do it.  I tried for an hour.  Sadness.  But the leviathan too.  Wow.  Wow.  Parts of that game just...were so stunning.  I have no words. Those gods were really cool.  Titan was pretty cool to, but I still have yet to get him for a summon, so I'm upset, haha.  I've gotten leviathan like fifty times, shiva even more, and of course, ramuh is like HEY every two seconds, but never Titan!!!!!  WHAT DOES IT MEAN.  BUT AHHH, I love that game so much...my love has officially just been rekindled. But it seemed so short!  I was finally getting into it when it just ENDED.  I was so shocked and sad....  I liked it a lot but I needed MORE!!  

Like P5.  I thought I was going to finish it and I even screamed to my sister, "I GOT THE BAD ENNDDDDDDDING".  But it turns out I am not done and now I'm in another palace, hahahaha.  I love that though.  I feel so spoiled but in a good way, haha.  

...But back to FFXV.  My largest wish is that they had developed more of Noctis' bond with his father.  I was expecting that because of that one really cute trailer with Noctis and his father eating soup together.  I loved the heart in that trailer.  It made me tear up watching it.  So sweet.  But we never got that.  Or much about his mom besides the TINY BIT in the weird anime.  Oh, another thing...Carbuncle.  I thought he'd be a huge part since he was in that demo that was AMAZING.  But misguiding too...I thought it'd be a bit more like that.  More child Noctis, which we never really saw...  I loved the flashbacks he had with Luna.  I needed more of that.  And the time he spent there when he was hurt.  ARGH.  I NEED IT.  I would've loved more about his time with meeting all of the bros too.  Like in that weird short novel thing.  I liked that too.  BUT MORE!!  I NEED MORE!!!  Maybe I should hunt through some fan fic, haha.  But it's not the same!!

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-05-17 04:35:38 +0000 UTC]

I did actually finished both N‪ier and Nier Automata, haha. I think the first was better in terms of story and character, but the second had better gameplay. They were both amazing though! Easily make it into my top favorite games of all time. I can't remember the last time a game left such a heavy emotional impact on me, maybe Shadow of the Colossus/Ico?

Just to keep all the video game talk together, I'll answer your question from the other comment here too. ...Yes the boy dies, haha. Several times. It's actually both a story thing and gameplay mechanic, the characters you play as are androids so they just back up their data (saving) and when they die they just download their data in a new body. You have to retrieve your equipment from your old body when you die, which is just left laying around on the map where you died. Fun stuff. But YES IT IS TRAGIC. But before the game even came out, the creator had said Automata would have a happy ending. If you do plan on playing, I HIGHLY recommend playing the original Nier first, it isn't like...required to play and understand Nier Automata, but it's so good there's no reason not to! You'll get a much better and detailed understanding of the setting and history in Automata, and some references/sidequests will have so much more meaning if you've played Nier first.

Ah the ending for FFXV was great, even though it broke my heart. I was so glad Noctis and Luna were FINALLY together, but...why. Why did it have to be like this. But I agree, even though the ending was really well done the rest of the game felt incomplete. Actually at this point I can't remember much of the game, it's been so long, haha. But, I hate how they put all this interesting content in side material when some of it really needs to be alluded to in-game. I think the summons you get depend on your location + probability. I can't remember exactly, but like...Shiva appears more when you're near water, and I think you need to be in wide open areas for Titan? Or I could be creating false memories, haha. I don't even know.

I have been playing Persona 5! I started it a little after finishing Nier Automata to soothe the emotional wounds it left on me, haha. It was both a good thing and bad thing, because I needed something lighter to distract me, but it was so hard to get into after Automata. I felt so claustrophobic in that little city, and just how structured the gameplay is. And the start is such a drag, it feels like it takes forever to get out of the hand-holding tutorial stage of P5. But I finally started enjoying it after a while. I love the characters, Ryuji and Ann are easily my favorite "first two friends" out of the series, compared to Junpei + Yukari and Yosuke + Chie. Yusuke is my favorite though, haha. I also like how they brought back some things from the games before P3, like the skill cards, negotiating, fighting the actual personas instead of generic recolored shadows. Persona series didn't have sacrifices before either, did it? I think that was from mainline SMT? I can't remember, but I like it. I always get things confused with Persona series and SMT and the other spinoffs, I'm ALWAYS asking my brother which gameplay mechanic was in what game... I finished the bank palace but haven't hit the deadline yet, so I have just been playing around for about two in-game weeks.  Tomorrow I'll finally move on to the next big story part.

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-05-30 07:01:57 +0000 UTC]

"EMOTIONAL IMPACT" for Nier Automata, you say!!  Like...despair?!?!  LOVE?!?!  WHAT KIND OF EMOTION?  Man.  Shadow of the Colossus I really really liked, but it still makes me feel kind of hollow and depressed whenever I think about it.  Actually, that's what makes me so wary to start The Last Guardian, haha.  Oookay.  You say the precious little boy in Automata dies....like...FOR GOOD?  Or just to be transferred to a new body?  ...I do like how you say it has a happy ending though.  Pure happy or BITTERSWEET??  Everyone keeps saying it's really sad.  I'm so afraid.  

Well, I probably won't get it for awhile anyway.  Maybe at the end of this year sometime.  Just because I'm letting Persona 5 sit in my brain for awhile.  I'm softly and slowly absorbing it as much as possible.  Whatever that means.  I just finished it the other day and so I've allowed myself to listen to the soundtrack finally and now I'm reading fan fic for it and looking up pictures and drawing only it and basically I've become totally obsessed.  I live and breathe Persona 5 now.  It's so dang good I can't stand it.  I'm tearing up because of my love for it right now.  It's too much.  My brain is swirling.
Okay.
Okay.
I've got this.
...It was good.  I kind of dragged out the ending though, haha, because I reaaaaallllyyyyy didn't want it to end!!!  I spent so many hours in the Velvet Room messing with fusions that it's not even funny.  But I found some amazing Personas!!  I didn't normally mess around in the Velvet Room in the other games just because ...eh.  I mean.  You move Personas in and out so quickly, there didn't seem to be much of a point.  They're so beautiful in this game though, haha.  I just...aghh.  AGHHHH.  IT'S GOT ME.  AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  I want to talk about it so badly, but I won't spoil you.  I just.  Personas just keep getting better and better.  It's amazing.  It's like...I had such spectacular high hopes for FFXV and it allmooost met them but then I was a little disappointed when it ended so quickly and I sort of had to scold myself for holding it to such a high standard because how could it possibly deliver if I expect it to be perfect?  We're all just hummaaannnn after all.  But then I couldn't help have super high hopes for Persona 5 after how much I loved Persona 4 and I thought I'd get disappointed again, but I WAS BLOWN AWAAAYYYYY.  I EXPECTED IT TO BE AWESOME.  THE MOST AWESOME OF AWESOMENESSES but oh my word.  It's just become...something so much more than what I thought it could be.  AND I THOUGHT IT'D BE 100% AMAZING.  A new level of crazy goodness.  I can't believe such a good thing exists.  They're geniuses.  Geniuses.  I loved P3.  Then I loved P4 even more.  And now.  P5.  Is the king of my heart.  Nothing can get better than this.  NOTHING.
AHHGgh.

OKAY.  But yeah, I do agree that the beginning tutorial phase was away too long, haha.  I think it took me like a little over 10 hours??  Haha.  Oh well.  I was so over the moon that it had finally arrived I didn't even care.  The game is freaking long though.  Like.  I love it.  I love how long it is, but I don't know how some people are going to finish it like...ever.  I know my cousin plays games casually...this just isn't going to work out for him.  It took me 120 hours.  I don't think anything's ever taken me 120 hours like...just for the base story.  LIKE.  I have managed to drag a ridiculous amount of hours out of FFXV just for all its little side quests and stuff, but the base game took me around 30 even when I was STILL doing sidequests.  And P5...120.  I was like.  What's happening???  And now that I'm starting it over, it's still just as good.  Actually better, because now I'm choosing all the snarky butthead answers and the responses are hilarious and then they give you special things in the NG+ and it's just...it's good.  Really good replay value.  I'm also tempted to turn it to Japanese audio because I've been using Duolingo to learn Japanese!  They finally got that up and running.  So I'm trying really hard to actually officially learn it and I feel that'd really help...turning the audio to Japanese...but I actually really love the English cast they got.  I sort of wish they had chosen an actual tiny boy for Morgana instead of a woman pretending to be a boy (...that never works...) but it's still a huge improvement over Teddie, haha!  I hated Teddie's voice so much even though he was this precious tiny boy.  

Boy oooh, I just love how stylish this game is.  And so much attitude!  Have you read the lyrics for "Last Surprise"?  Holy crap.  It gets me.  Whenever it plays I'm just like HECK YEAAAHH!!!!!  FUELED BY THE ENERGY OF THEIR JAZZY SASS.  GAH.  And the menu is just...so fine.    Akira swinging everywhere.  What a cutie.  Yes, I really like Ryuji and Ann too.  I really loved Yosuke from P4!  But I HATED Chie and freaking Yukiko.  God.  The painful memories.  I didn't like Junpei or Yukari at all either.  Actually, I didn't really like many characters in P3 in general.  I liked Shinjiro UNTIL HE DIED, and then I guess ...oh no, I've forgotten his name.  "I've been waiting for this" boy.  .............starts with an A.  I forget.  Anyway.  I sort of liked him, but eh.  I ended up LOVINNNGGG like...every character in P5, except one whom I'm indifferent too.  I could take them or leave them, but I don't hate them like CHIE.  AGH.  But oh boy, I have massive love for Makoto.  She is my favorite female character ever in anything I think.  EVER! EVERYTHING!!  I love Yusuke too!!  He and Akira and Makoto are basically tied for my faves.  When I first saw him in the trailer, I was immediately interested and I had all these expectations for him.  And he's not quite what I thought he'd be like (his voice surprised me so much haha) but he's SO WEIRD and interesting and smart and soft and his backstory...  
I was just thinking about it the other day, but how amazing would it be to have friends like them?  Actual.  Living.  People.  Like...I know some people have friends they reallllly adore and cherish and appreciate.  And I've always been like HOW?  DOES IT TRULY EXIST?  
In this game at least, haha.  I so adore them.  

Bank Palace!  Does that mean you have Makoto then!!!!!!  I actually didn't like her at first, haha.  I thought she was so annoying when she followed Akira around hiding behind a book.  I was like BEGONE!!!  Haha.  But I love her voice actor.  And so many things about her.  *happy sigh*

I actually found the best fan fiction the other day, haha.  It's a Persona 5 AU about Makoto as a police officer who's been assigned the Phantom Thieves case, but she has no leads.  But then, by chance, she meets this super cute LOCAL BARISTA.  AKIRA.  Whom she starts visiting more and more and they start falling in loooooveeeee.  AHAhahaha.  She ends up finding him as Joker in the metaverse and tries capturing him there not knowing he's Akira.  And then she'll go to the cafe and vent her frustrations to him about how tough her day was and he just pretends he has no idea.  Ahaha.  It's one of those stories.  It really makes me laugh.  She's like...falling in love with Joker too but she keeps trying to deny it and he's always teasing her and she's just like, "I'LL NEVER LOVE YOU, I'M ALREADY DEVOTED TO SOMEONE ELSE" and he's just like :0 since she's never actually confessed to Akira himself.  AHahaha.  SEE WHAT I MEAN??  GREAT, RIGHT?  There's so much silly blushing and sweetness and love.  It's so cute.  I've already read it twice and it hasn't finished yet, so I'm in agony waiting for the next chapters.  Oh boy. 

Anyway, don't mean to overload you with Persona 5 love, haha.  I CAN BEHAVE.  I THINK.

How's life going??  I hope you're doing well.  Sorry I haven't been replying well.  It's not really that I'm busy, but I've just been kind of...ugh, if you know what I mean.  My other friend and I haven't been getting along which was really upsetting because she and I used to talk like...constantly throughout the day everyday and now we barely talk once a week and when we do it's like...ugh... and my evil sister's been wretched lately to put it lightly.  But oh boy, and other things, so I've just been uninspired to do like...anything.  At all.  (Besides play P5 WOO WOOO.)  SOOOOO.  I started doing yoga everyday...YOGA WITH ADRIENE on Youtube!  And it's been AMAZING.  I've been feeling so strong and at peace with things lately.  I'm so happy I've found it.  I recommend checking it out if you ever get the chance because I think EVERYONE SHOULD experience her lessons!!  She's so kind and patient and I just love her.  She has tons of videos too for everything.  And then she has these 30 day things that I've been doing.  I'm on day 20!  Haven't missed a day!  My posture has been so amazingly fantastic lately...I actually always thought I had really weirdly broad shoulders, but now it just turns out that my postures been slumping them everywhere and I'm so happy because now they look like human shoulders, haha!  And it doesn't..like...hurt to move around everywhere.  I AM STRONGER.  And I hope it'll motivate me to do other things.  Hoping that peace of mind will build and give me more courage!  HURRAH.  I THINK IT'S WORKING.  I've also been trying to eat better too.  So that probably helps.  It's only been 20 days and already some of my shorts are no longer fitting me...which seems incredibly fast, but ittt'sss happeeenniinngggggg.  The miracle of actually moving, haha. 

But anyway, I hope all is well and you're having a great end of May.  MER-MAY!


  

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-06-07 23:56:03 +0000 UTC]

I don't even know how to explain, it just hits me in my heart, and hard too! IT made me feel despair, love, loneliness, hope. I have a deep love for both Nier and Nier Automata. Listening to the soundtracks and tearing up has become a hobby of mine now, haha. It's incredible how the main vocalist of the ost sings with SO MUCH emotion even though the "languages" she sings in are made up. It gets me every time. I regret not getting the black box edition of the game, it was expensive but I think it was worth it. I absolutely love everything about the game and should have supported the creator, he deserves that money. ;_;

The boy will be fine! Don't worry, haha. It still overall feels bittersweet to me, because a lot of tragic things happened that can't be undone. I think it's better not to say anymore! I wasn't sure if it was ok to believe the creator when he said it had a happy ending, but I am happy with it. But you have to play through the game a few times to get that final scene though, but it is definitely worth it. It makes it feel like you had to fight for your happy ending, that you earned it. ;u; But it seems like some people don't realize that there is more to the game after you "beat" it the first time and the credits scroll and it says Ending A. That's really just the halfway point, and you play that first half again but it has additional scenes, and then you can play the second half of the game.

Anyway! I am unfortunately not as into P5 as I am Nier. I don't know, it's weird because I don't find myself getting all excited or obsessed over it like I was the other ones, even though I think it is the best Persona so far! Maybe it's because I burned myself out on P3 and 4 and even though 5 is so much better, it still fundamentally feels the exact same as the other two, just more polished up and streamlined. Some days I have a lot of fun with it and sometimes it starts to feel a little like a chore to play,  because I sometimes play whenever I have the time and not necessarily when I WANT to play, just because I don't have much of a choice. OTL

I always used to spend HOURS fusing! I'm really surprised to hear that you spent more time fusing in 5 than the other games because it's the opposite for me and I'm a fusion nut. I have a handful of favorites that I always try to make in every SMT game even if they are weak, and try to get good skills on them. It's so much more convenient with choosing inherited skills and and REVERSE LOOKUP. I felt so blessed that they gave us those things, it's almost too good to be true, haha.  

Also I didn't know that the maid/butler outfits were out until I played yesterday and found out my brother had already downloaded and installed them, that was a nice surprise, haha. I LOVE THEM. I always used the maid/butler outfits in P3P and kept talking about how I wanted them for 5, now my dream has come true. MORGANA'S IS SO CUTE. I benched him as soon as Yusuke, but I saw the little maid dress and had to put him back in just so I see it, haha.

Same for me, Shinjiro and Akihiko were the only two that I really liked. The dog was cute too but otherwise felt pointless. From 4 I only liked Kanji and Rise. I didn't like Yosuke and Yukiko though. I like most of the cast so far in 5 though! Makoto is easily my least favorite though. I didn't like her at first, but then I liked her after she joins, her persona was so cool, haha. I loved using her in the bank palace. But now I don't particularly care about her anymore and she's usually on the bench with Morgana. I don't know, for whatever reason I usually don't like student council type characters very much. I just happen to love everyone else more. Futaba is so precious. I love how she, Boss, and Akira are like a little family, I really missed that from P4, especially Nanako~ I really like the teacher and the doctor too! They are probably my favorite non-party social links so far. I didn't like the teacher AT ALL at first, but her social link is so good. And I want to date the doctor, I'm not sure why but I just love her, haha. Maybe because she reminds me a little of Black Jack.

Right now I'm done with the space burger place but the deadline hasn't hit yet. I need to raise my kindness so I can hang out with Boss again, but it's going slow. :<

Ah, no worries, I know what you mean. Sorry to hear that things aren't good for you. I know I'm so slow at replying...but if you ever need someone to talk or vent to about that kind of stuff, I'm always glad to listen. Things have been alright with me. That's a lie. Work had been a big pain lately and it seems like everyone is in low spirits. And I've been getting really shitty shifts, I asked again the other day so this time I hope they will stop scheduling me like that. But other than that I've been ok, I guess. I'm used to being tired all the time, I don't know if that's good or bad. Yoga sounds like a good idea though, maybe I should try too! I'm used to being on my feet all the time, so I thought my legs were strong now, but recently I've been getting pain in my legs and feet again. I probably need new shoe inserts. My back has also been aching more frequently. Am I just getting old or something?!

Oh man but you know what's been bringing me up lately? I got that new Attack on Titan cd and I FEEL SO GOOD when I listen to it. It feels like it's been a long time since Revo released any new music so I am just ecstatic about it. Makes me SO FIRED UP! It is exactly what my heart and soul needed.

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-06-08 07:13:02 +0000 UTC]

I will have to get Nier Automata.  I keep watching the price on Amazon.  It fluctuates between $39 and $59...  Maybe for Black Friday, it'll be cheaper.  It'll be that time again soon enough!  Can't believe it's June already.  Blargh.  

I got the Nier soundtrack which I nnneeeverrr do before I play games, but it was so pretty I couldn't resist!  I'm glad the boy is okay.  *sobs*  He is too precious.  It'd be too brutal if he didn't make it in the end.  Hm...I like bittersweet sometimes, though I do love my happy endings.  Some bittersweets still kill me!!  But I've been hearing so many good things about this game, I can't not try it out!  Plus, it's so gorgeous...

SADNESS.  I am still on my Persona 5 high.  I wish I could love it forever, but then I'm not very productive, always craving it, haha.  I even preordered the art book.  I don't think I've ever gone out of my way to purchase a separate art book.  I have the artbook from the little Take Your Heart Edition it came with that I've been using religiously as a ref for my P5 fanarts lately, but it doesn't have all the concept art and fun stuff that I want.  Oooh, what version of P5 did you get?  I heard with the standard editions of the game, they came with little controller skins??  I was hoping the Take Your Heart edition would too, but NO!!  *GASP* HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO MEEE.  SCREEEEEEEEEEEEe. 

But argh!  We have been getting new wooden floors in lately and so the workers are here from morning to afternoon and we have just been hiding in our rooms.  It's very....ugghhhh...  So tired of being stuck in my room all the time!  I don't have a tv anymore in here, so it's even more upsetting, haha.  My PS4 is sitting so lonely on my desk.  I feel like I could probably hook it up to my laptop and use the screen for that?  Maybe?  I haven't looked into it yet.  I thought the wood floor people would be done quickly, but I guess it takes much longer than I thought.  So I'm getting Persona 5 withdrawals.  And going stir crazy.  I've been drawing a picture of the gaaaangggg, but my eyes have been kinda weary and my hand has been upset today, so today I am taking a break from it.  I thought I could finish it today.  I've been working on it for so long, I just kinda want to be done with it.

Yeaaaaaah, fusing felt kind of like a waste just because I'm mostly in the games for the story and they don't really help the story out much.  Annnnddd you cycle through new personas so quickly it's like, you finally fuse one you like and then BAM, they're useless again.  I did most of the fusing at the end of the game this time around with my social links all maxed out so they were able to hang in.  They carry on into the next playthrough!  I...I don't think I've ever played a Persona game twice over...  Or, if I did, I never did the NG+ like I am now.  It's actually not much fun using them in battle.  I just wipe out all the bad guys in one hit so I don't really use him all that much, URIEL!  The angel.  I had a skill on him that halved the SP usage so it doesn't kill me to use him.  
Ah.  I want to play right now...

I hadn't checked the PSN lately!!  I'm glad you told me about those maid outfits, haha!  I bought it right now just in case they decide to take it back.  I love how they are giving us so many free outfits...too bad the Catherine set is $7.  *sobs*  I kind of wish that, instead of just dishing them out free every once in awhile, they had put them in the game and made us work for them. They seem more special that way.  Though this seems like a little present every once in awhile, hehe. 

Oooh, who do you usually keep in your party?  Mine is usually Makoto, Morgana, and Yusuke.  I sometimes switch out Morgana for Ann or Ryuji, but the rest I keep just because they are too precious for me to switch out.  Makoto's dang Freidyne is so dang powerful.  And Morgana is such a good little healer....  I would like to always keep them, but how could I not see my beautiful Yusuke all the time?  No.  Can't do it.  

DIDN'T LIKE YOSUKE???  MY HEART.  I loved Kani and Rise too.  Did you see the Rise poster in P5?  I squeaked like a little mouse when I saw it.  I kind of hoped for a bigger cameo than that though, like in P4 with P3.  That was cool.  LIKE, an older Nanako maybe.  I also said to my sister how much I missed their family dynamic.  Sweet Nanako with her "big bro"s always waiting for him at home and singing that dang Junes song.  Sojiro was rough in the beginning, haha, but I am so fond of him and Futaba now.  I love them all together.  And how Futaba clings to Akira when they go out.  That's so sweet.  He's a good big bro type, haha.  I've been reading as many good fan fics of P5 as I can lately and Akira is usually depicted as this really soft, really sweet and patient and kind type.  He is so comforting.  I just adore all the good fan fics with him.  So many with him x Ryuji though and I love Ryuji and all that, but I just can't see that relationship somehow.  I am purely Akira x Makoto, haha.  I SEE IT SO STRONGLY.  GWAAHHH, I am surprised you don't like her!  I actually am not super huge on the student council president types either because they're usually bossy and prissy, but she doesn't feel like that to me.  Are you listening to it in Japanese or English?  I think a decent part of the reason I love her so dang much is because of the English voice actress.  She's so good.  I haven't heard the Japanese though.

OH man, Kawakami is a really interesting social link but it kind of creeps me out when people romance her.  Seeing his little teenager head on her adult teacher lap makes me totally cringe.  WHERE ARE THE POLICE.  But she's fun.  There are so many social links I didn't even bother with the first playthrough, so there's a lot for me to do this time around!  Especially now that my stats all transferred over.  Woo woo!!  I never finished Sojiro's either!  I really want to, but I never was kind enough, HAHA.  I'm always terrified that I won't find someone's location and miss them.  I swear sometimes I see a little tarot card above a location and I CANNOT find anyone available, haha.  I...I will admit...  I was never able to find Naoto in Persona 4.  Okay.  I just looked it up so I WILL BE READY NEXT TIME I PLAY IT.  But, haha.  I am still upset I missed her story.  I loved her and Kanji!  

But augh, just...I love basically all the characters in this game, so I'm just...pphheewwwwy!  OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  TELL ME.  WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT AKECHI.

I'm sorry you've been getting bad shifts at work lately!!  D:  What time are those usually?  Or are they just really long?  I am sending good luck your way that you'll start getting some good shifts and that everyone's spirits will raise!!  Perhaps the sunshine will cheer everyone up!  *hugs*

Oooooh, you should totally try out Yoga with Adriene!!  I am still so in love with her.  I wish I could thank her somehow because I really feel like this is LIFE CHANGING.  Lately, I've been noticing I feel mentally more peaceful.  I'm hoping it's not just something in passing.  But example!!!  Today, we've been getting new wood flooring in, right?  And so we're all happy about that, but then my dad had to take the dishwasher out so the floor guy could get in there, BUT THEN, when we use the sink, I guess it leaks underneath for some reason...I don't know, my dad hadn't anticipated that either.  My sister is graduating this week, so I was making a cake, and with cake comes a ton of dishes to wash!  So I was washing for awhile...and then my dad realized later...there's water all underneath the flooring.  And it's ruined the flooring put in the kitchen.  SO HE WAS REALLLLYYYY PISSSEEEEDDD OFF and yelling at my mom and me.  And normally, this would upset me quite a bit just because I hate getting yelled at especially when it wasn't anyone's fault really, but today, I felt really focused and calm and I was able to not let it upset me, and then, I was calmly trying to help them both see reason and calm down...  I think I helped?????  I was very happy. Well, they're still not happy and the floor is still perhaps ruined...but he was literally getting a crow bar and tearing the floor boards apart and yelling and raging, and he stopped doing that, so.  Victory.  Phew.

ANYWAY.  So I am just very happy with those yoga videos.  I still feel kind of awkward and weird when doing some of the poses, but I love the way she goes about things.  She's not like the usual workout people who are like, "DON'T QUIT NOW DONT QUIT NOW ONLY FIVE MORE MINUTES OF AGONY YOU CAN DO IT WORK WORK WORK" as I'm SCREEEEAAMING in agony on the inside.  She like...gives alternatives if a pose is too difficult and is fun and forgiving and apparently people tell her "thanks for keeping yoga weird".  I don't think she's weird.  Maybe quirky in a sweet way.  BUT ANYWAY.  Yes, totally.  I don't really get why yoga is so centering mentally.  There's a lot of deep breathing and connecting to your breath and apparently stuff having to do with a healthy spine = healthy emotions??  I don't know.  This is beyond my knowledge, but I'm still doing it everyday.  It is rare for me to stick with things.  I do feel much more connected with my body and my breath.  More in control rather than just letting things go without my input.  It feels like it's just stretching at first, but then suddenly things become...BETTER!!  Haha.  I am a whole new me!  One I didn't know existed in here!  Okay. That might be a stretch so early on, but I am really noticing amazing capabilities of my body I literally thought I'd never ever see.   It makes me so happy.  *sniffles*  Here's the link!!  I hope she is able to help you too!  In whichever way you need it!  Perhaps it'll help your back during work??

www.youtube.com/user/yogawitha…


This is the 30 days of yoga playlist thing that I've been doing:  www.youtube.com/playlist?list=…
I was just doing one of these a day, but now I'm starting to go into her other videos as well in addition.  Oddly enough, the first few days are like a half hour each and now, some videos are only like 12 minutes.  what.  You'd think she'd do it the opposite way.  Oh well.  

SHOES.  Today, while I was standing for awhile making cake (it was a new recipe and I'm super slow anyway), my feet started getting these really sharp pains in them.  I have partially flat feet (they've been building up an arch since I started yoga!  I've been standing wrong since forever and was never aware at all!) and an additional bone in the inside of my foot.  It's weird.  Anyway, so I tend to get pain a lot.  But then I switched shoes for CROCS, HAHA, and then the pain mostly went away!  GOOD OL' CROCS.  I know they get a bad rap, but boy, they are comfy.  They are these ones:

www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003…

The price fluctuates.  Stupid Amazon.  But I got mine for $22 and they are soooo wooorrrthh itttt.  Like little clouds cradling my weak feet.  I actually have some of their huge original ones but I could never actually wear them just because they were so HUGE and clunky.  They felt like they were in the way constantly, but these are much much better.  

Ooooh!!  I heard Revo doing that new Attack on Titan theme and knew you'd be excited, hehe.  I love how epic his music always sounds.  Someone said in the comments, "I was taking a piss while listening to this and it felt like I was saving the universe".  Pfft.  I can see that.  I'm so glad you love it!!  

I hope work becomes brighter soon!!  I'm still so impressed by you getting through that interview and getting that job!!  You did ittttt!  Woowoo!  Have a great weekend!!

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-06-13 05:31:48 +0000 UTC]

Which soundtrack did you get, the original Nier or Automata? They are both so beautiful. I wish I had preordered Automata's soundtrack to get the bonus disc with it. I can't believe it's June already too...the year is halfway over.

I don't know what edition of P5 I have, my brother bought it. It's the one with the shiny case, I don't think it came with any skins.

Yeah, you definitely go through personas very quickly in the beginning since you level so fast, but once leveling slows down I usually start hanging on to personas a little longer. The game is pretty easy even without using the updated personas, so it's not like it matters too much. Speaking of which, doesn't 5 seem really easy, especially compared to 3 and 4? In 3 at least, I remember there being a couple of tough sub-bosses, but in 5 you just breeze through every battle including any bosses/mid-bosses. I guess I could be playing on hard, but the only reason I'm not is because I want to get through the game quickly.

My main party is Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke. Yusuke is so strong and he is ALWAYS dodging thanks to that auto buff. I did start swapping in the others during the space burger dungeon just to help conserve sp so I could explore longer, I'm trying to play as efficiently as possible and not spend more than 1-2 days in a palace to secure the route.

I liked Yosuke's interactions with the MC, but outside of that, he was too whiny and it annoyed me. He was also mean to Kanji. :c But yeah! My brother and I were so excited when we saw that Rise poster! And then we were disappointed when you couldn't buy her cd from the music store. But in my brother's game, Ann gave him the Rise poster to put in his room. I'm so jealous, I maxed Ann's social link and she still never gave me the poster. WHY. I still don't have anything to put on my shelf, either. Why will no one give me thiiiinngsss. All I have are the dolls I got myself from the arcade.

The Japanese version has so many good voice actors, but I'm listening to it in English. Usually on a second playthrough I pick JP for games that do have a choice though. For some reason it surprised me that Miyano voices Ryuji. I guess Akira or Akechi just seem like they would have his voice instead. I really like the English voice for Akira though! Too bad we don't get to hear much of it.

I don't like Kawakami as a romantic option either, but I was surprised that I ended up liking her so much since I hated her at first, haha. I'm trying to get around to as many social links as I can because I might not do a new game+, or not anytime soon at least.

I don't like Akechi! It's too bad his character design is so cute. He's the traitor, isn't he? He is also the Justice arcana, and I know that doesn't mean much in Persona games but in other SMT with the alignment systems, justice/law ALWAYS seems like the worst side to me. Even if the law characters start off as your allies or friends or whatever, they often end up being my most hated characters in the games, because of how awful they become. There's just something about Akechi that reminds me of those characters. And he's always so pleasant and nice, even if you pick the rude choices when talking to him, that it feels fake. So fishy. And besides, how can you befriend someone who would arrest Santa?! Only a monster would crush children's hopes and dreams like that!!

It's not the length of my shifts that's bad, it's that once a week they give me a closing shift where I leave at 10pm, and the next morning's shift I go in at 5am. At first I thought it was a one-time weird scheduling thing but then it kept happening. I'm good for the next two weeks though, so hopefully it will stay that way. My coworkers are so nice though, bless them. One swapped hours with me so that I could go home earlier the other night. <3

Thanks for the links, I bookmarked them! I'm glad to hear that yoga is working for you. No one likes getting yelled at, it's good you were able to stay calm, I think that really helps to not agitate the situation. I have a hard time sticking with things, but I really want to try doing yoga regularly too. I already do deep breathing (square breathing?) whenever I don't feel well, whether it's physically or mentally, and I've noticed that it does help me feel a little better.  

Oh, those are neat looking crocs! Much nicer than the chunky ones. I wouldn't be able to wear those to work though. I just stuff my sneakers with inserts, and they are usually pretty comfy, until they start wearing thin and loosing their cushioning. I probably shouldn't buy such cheap ones, maybe they would last longer.

I just remembered I have a new Uchouten Kazoku episode to watch. I still can't believe it got a second season, I would have never expected that and I am so happy! It is such a good series, and so colorful too. Have you watched any anime recently? Probably not with P5 out, haha. I actually started getting back into it a little this season, though I'm not following that many series.

Ahh thanks so much! I can't believe it's been over a year since I started this job. I really do feel like a seasoned veteran now compared to how clueless I was when I first started, haha. I hope things are going well for you too, take care of yourself~

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-06-25 07:45:39 +0000 UTC]

Oooh, I got the Automata soundtrack.  I don't doubt the other Nier is really awesome, but I think I'll probably just start with Automata just because of those gorgeous graphics and if I love it enough, go backwards, haha. 

Ooooh.  Yeah, the P5 one with that dang controller skin was in the standard edition, not the steel case.  I do love the steel case; that's what mine came with too.  But I still wish I had that controller skin.  I had originally preordered both the Take Your Heart edition and the standard edition since Prime members get 20% off on Amazon the first week, so then I thought I'd just resell the standard...but then I was like...why the heck am I buying two of the same thing...??  And canceled my standard edition...BUT I TOTALLY REGRET IT NOW.  I could've had that controller skin!  SOB.  Oh well.  I do like the feel of the controller now....sniffles.

I feel like I never really slowed down leveling up in this game!  I'm not sure if it's just because I wasn't paying attention though, haha.  This game does seem easier in comparison to P3 and P4!  I think I got like...one game over.  Some weird freak accident, haha.  But in P4, I feel like it happened more frequently.  I don't even know.  It doesn't bother me since the story is my favorite part of Persona games.  I had it on normal the first playthrough, and I switched it to hard this playthrough, but I can't tell a difference...soo...I dunno.

Oh, wow, I forget that you got so far in P5 already.  I wonder how far you are NOW!  How are you liking Haru?

YEAH.  I love that Rise poster.  I just got it the other day.  HM!  I know Ann gave it to me when I took her to...Harajuku??  I'm pretty sure it was Harajuku.  Like 92% sure.  I have it up on my wall right now, haha.  I wish they'd let you fix his room up even more though.  I just saw someone on Tumblr today got an image of his room and changed up the contrast...AND HIS MATTRESS RESTS ON TOP OF CRATES.  That's so sad. I never noticed that in-game.  But there's so much potential in his room!  I want it beautiful!  I actually thought, for the longest time, before I knew you could "redecorate" your room, that the huge empty space on the bottom right hand corner of his room was an opening for someone else to go live with him.  I got sooooooooooo excited when Yusuke said he was going to live with him because I was like, "THE SPACE!!  HE'S DOING IT!"  And I thought it'd be super fun with Yusuke living with them. But alas.  They teased me and broke my heart.

HOLY SMOKES.  I hope that your shifts have been fixed.  I can't believe they'd give you work until 10 and then 5AMamamdlfakjsdlkfajs;df AGH.  I'd die.  That's not even enough time to get proper rest...  That seems really cruel.  How long were they too!!  I sure hope they haven't done that to you lately.  Wow, especially with the heat!  I hear it's been like 120 in Arizona lately??  I hope you're alright. ;__;  I've been seeing pictures of people baking cookies in their car (or trying to at least, haha) and garbage bins melting!  AUGH.  That must be miserable.  I can't imagine.  It's been very hot here lately too, but I think the highest it hit was 108...which was miserable actually.  My parents are super cheap and didn't want to use the AC, so we used the swamp cooler most of the time which works alright on normal days, but days like that auahhgghhh.  My hair has been a curly frizzy mess and I've been breaking out.  ACNE.  HORROR FLASHBACKS FROM HGIH SCHOOL.  The heat wave has been a little longer than a week and I've been feeling nauseous and can't eat a lot or I get sick and my tummy hurts constantly.  Migraines every day too, even though I've been drinking a ton of water.  Blah!  We don't have a pool anymore either.  It's terrible.  My aunt invited me to go to yoga with her and I was like..........how........when the world is melting.......................  But it was actually okay because (surprise) they had air conditioning.  What a concept.  But today was like heaven because it was back in the 90's.  Like.  98.  But it felt a lot better.  And I'm so glad I got my period TODAY and not one of those past days because I probably wouldn't have made it.

But anyway!  Yoga.  I was talking with my aunt about Yoga with Adriene since I STILL AM SO IN LOVE WITH HER.  I am so dang fond of her.  And my aunt was like, "Oh, I do private sessions, come join me!"  And the studio is only like five minutes away, so I was like okaayyyyy.  And so I'm doing those now too, but it's just once a week.  But I was really surprised by how much Adriene gives in her free lessons on Youtube.  I'd never gone to a yoga studio before but I was able to keep up and knew all the lingo and proper posture and everything.  I was so impressed with Adriene!  And...I hate to say this since my aunt pays a lot for her lessons and I doooo like them...but....I like Adriene's lessons a lot better...  But it is nice to have a peaceful atmosphere and do yoga with my aunt and teacher lady.  I though having a different teacher would mean different teachings, but they're very very similar.  What's nice though, is she has all the blocks and bolsters and straps and little wall ropes and weird back inverter things that are fun to use, but don't seem necessary to me.  But anyways, I've been feeling so dang strong lately, I'm so happy.  I started with one of her videos a day but now I'm doing 2-3 a day just because I can't get enough.  I totally feel like I'm becoming stronger mentally and physically at the same time.  And my posture has been actually DECENT.  It's amazing.  Perhaps I'm not totally hopeless!  Haha!  I just am glad I found an exercise I like.  That has always been a huge problem for me. I've always known I NEEDED to do it, but I hated everything.  Aerobics.  Weights.  Bike riding.  Even walking which is like...the easiest thing to do.  So I figured I just hated all exercise and that was that.  But no!  Something I actually love to do that's good for me.  *sobs into my hands*  Sorry.  I will stop now.  I've been driving everyone crazy at home because I want them all to join me and feel great too, haha.  I'm just so excited!

Ooh!  What's square breathing!  I've been meaning to look at her pranayama videos because I think breathing really helps too.  Unfortunately, the swamp cooler makes my nose kind of stuffed up, so the fun things must wait until it clears.  But I'm really hoping I can master breathing techniques too...especially for my period pain. Man, that's gotten really bad.  Like.  Really bad. But only sometimes.  A few periods ago, it was so terrible, I was just panting in bed for a few hours feeling really feverish but freezing at the same time and sooo much pain.  Painkillers weren't helping, the heating pad wasn't helping.  NOTHING WAS HELPING.  I almost thought my mom would have to take me to the hospital, but I was in too much pain to get up to tell her. But it went away eventually.  And this period right now is not even 1/4th as bad.  I am hoping that means either the yoga or the new supplements I'm trying are helping.  Who knows.  But I do want to try more things like breathing techniques to battle the pain away if it comes.

Haha, I just got more Crocs today.  They're so dang cheap but soooo comfffyyyy.  Though!  I got some thicker ones the other day and they're so not comfortable.  So I have to return those and that's why I got these new ones today.  I think the thinner ones are best.  Not just appearance wise but comfier too.  I've been having to wear shoes around the house because my sister has literally gone crazy.  She's become obsessed with washing her hands.  All.  The.  Time.  She takes several showers a day and after each shower...washes her hands.  While she sits on her bed on her computer all day long...washes hands every few minutes.  In the middle of eating dinner?  Sets her plate down, goes to wash her hands, comes back, eats, sets plate down, washes.  And she won't even sit at our kitchen table anymore because the seats are "gross" since we sit in them, so she eats over the counter hunched over like an animal in the way as everyone is trying to get utensils and their own meal.  It's really weird.  But she only does it when we're around.  Like...she's dying for the attention.  I can't tell what's a show or not.  Like, the other day, she took a shower as she usually does, and it was just her, my dad, and me home.  But she didn't know I was home.  And she gets out of the shower, trips on the gate outside my door (so our monster dog won't get in and tear everything up in my room), falls on the ground and goes, "oops, I tripped!" to the dog, and laughs.  But then my dad happens to walk into the hallway, and IMMEDIATELY, not even a second after laughing, she screams, "I JUST PASSED OUTTTT!!!"  And she starts freaking out and crying.  And my dad's like, "what???  what's going on???  Do you need me to take you to the hospital??"  And she's just like groaning and acting like she's dying.  And my dad's like, "do you need water?"  And she's like, "yes.  And can you make me lunch?" And I'm still so confused about what happened.  Like...did she not remember tripping and falling, saying those things to the dog and laughing??  Or was she just that desperate for attention that she'd fake it that dramatically?  I am honestly leaning toward the latter.  She is that insane.  She called her boyfriend to tell him, who hasn't come over in like two months now (he used to come over everyday), and she got really mad because apparently when she said she'd passed out, he just went, "oh" and started talking about his lunch.  Hah.  But anyway.  The floors are sopping wet all the time.  She doesn't even use a towel to dry her hands and it gets really gross everywhere.  Apparently, according to my mom and not me because I try not to look at her because everything about her makes me nauseatingly ill...BUT, her hands are so dried out and gross that it literally looks like she's wearing two bright red gloves.  

Everyone's just...so tired.  Somehow, her laptop just gave up and broke the other week, so she was sobbing about that for the last month.  She had been bragging for ages that her MAC PRO or whatever it is is soo much better than PERSONAL PC garbage, but hers is literally newer than all of ours and it broke down first.  So that was distressing for her.  And then, just yesterday, she washed her new fancy iPhone that my dad bought her and RUINED IT, so she was crying about that.  And then her boyfriend offered to give her (for free) his new android that he just bought and then he'd buy himself another new one.  And she literally said, "That doesn't even make any sense.  Why should III get the old one?  Why wouldn't you just buy me a new iPhone??"  She was actually.  Confuseeeed.  He also offered to buy her a new computer, but he wanted her to keep it in the $600 range and she was like, "THAT WON'T GET ME ANYTHING".  And then, he said he'd buy her a car, but he's been looking at the $3,000 ones and she's all mad about it because they're "TRASH".  (His grandpa died recently, so he got a lot of money from that.)  Doesn't it sound like some awful movie??  Like...I have to laugh because it's like...people like her...actually EXIST.  Like...seriously...actually exist...  They're not even joking.  Those awful people in the movies aren't actually exaggerations like I always though.  I'm sorry for telling you about it actually, but like...PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT CRAZY HERE, hahasdfasf... *sobs*  Seeing my dad interact with her makes me feel like I'm in the twilight zone.  It's one thing when it's her boyfriend, but my DAD offered to buy her a new car the other day.  Like.  What the FUCk.  Is this real life??  But thank goodness..my mom was also like HWAT THe FUCK.  And so my dad abandoned that thought.  But it's just so weird.  So so so so so very bizarre.  And she is easy enough to watch in confusion, but then it really irritates me when my dad babies her and buys her a ton of shit because she's crazy.  The phone thing used to drive me mad enough, but a CAR??  What??  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaattt???  I've never even DREAMED of IMAGINING my dad buying a car for me.  She already HAS a car.  I use the extra one we have for whomever that she can use too and they always make very sure that I know it's NOT my car at ALL.  My mom is like, "it's because he feels sorry for her".  And my aunt says it's because he's worried and trying to make her happy.  And my grandma says what the heck is he doing that makes no sense.  Haha!  Anyway.  ANYWAY.  I hope it wasn't as terrible to read as I fear.  I'm actually feeling quite detached from it all lately, so that's not so much of a problem as it used to be on my mental state.  It's so perplexing, it might as well be some awful book I can discard and move on from, haha.  My other, more normal sister is also just kind of like....detached from it all.  I think we'd probably go insane if we tossed ourselves into that black hole of a mess she crates.  Yikes.

Oooh, I used to love putting little shoe inserts into my shoes, hehe.  I don't do that anymore and I don't know why..  Oh.  Wait.  I remember I looked last year and they were really expensive.  My grandma swears that there are some sold at the Dollar Tree, but I never can find them...  Not that those are probably the best idea anyway, haha.  

HEHE.  I haven't watched any anime at all.  I can't even think of what's playing right now.  It's so funny.  I had been playing Zelda like a fiend for awhile, and then I just went to play it again just yesterday and the last save file was the day before P5 came out, ahahahahaha.  Dang, I love P5.  I even got the Japanese concept art book and it cost me an arm and a leg, but it's GORGEOOOUSS.  I've never purchased an art book like this before.  I can't stand how amazing it is.  It just sucks it's in Japanese because I can't read all the notes and the notes are my favorite....  But I've been trying really hard to learn Japanese with those apps.  I'm making progress!  I'm pretty decent recognizing hiragana and I've "learned" the katakana but I still get them wrong sometimes.  *sobs*  And I've learned like...five kanji.  HAHA.  Only a billion left to go.  But it's been really cool playing Persona 5 because lately I've been stopping and trying to read the trash cans and posters on the walls and the signs and stuff.  Woo woo.  And then I was able to read my Yuri on Ice piano sheet music title today!!  It shocked me.  I didn't think it'd be anything I could make sense out of and then BAM.  "PIANOSOLO".  YayYAyayay.

Hm.  HM!  I'm trying to think of a happy story to end this with to counterbalance my huge block paragraph full of complaining.  Oh!  So, since it's so hot, I've been watering the plants in the morning and filling secret hidden water dishes in the plants and it's been bringing in a lot of little froggies!  So cute!!!  We had one on the window the other night and I was able to see his sweet little belly.  I love frogs so much.  We used to get a TON when I was younger, but for some reason, I never see them anymore..  Actually, haha, it might just be because I don't go outside so often anymore...  I used to always be out in the mud and grass collecting bugs and picking wildflowers.  So many frogs.  One year, our pool collapsed and no one was motivated enough to clean it up, so it just sat with a ton of water, which turned out to be an amazing tadpole factory, haha.  So we had SOOO MANY FROOOGSSSSS.  And we got to see them developing through their stages.  THE MIRACLE OF LIFE.

Okay, if that's not the happiest story ever, then I don't even know how to compete.....  Haha.  I hope you're enjoying your weekend and have some air conditioning!!  Oh! Or a pool!!  That sounds really nice right now.  I'd love to go swimming...it's been years since I've had a proper swim.  Hopefully I still remember!  

Okay.  Leaving now.  ...I'm contemplating deleting that whole paragraph about my sister.  ...Hm.  Well.  I hope it doesn't bother you.  

BY THE WAY.  I just went to click the submit button and saw your icon..  I've been meaning to say this and I keep forgetting.  WOW.  You are getting really good at your pixel icons!  Holy smokes, your new one is so cuuuuteeeeee.  I love her little face.  And that tiny body.  And her shiny hair.  It's perfect. You're so talented!

OKAY NOW IM LEAVING FOR REAL BYE BYE TOODLEOO 

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-07-09 01:05:02 +0000 UTC]

It took me three days to write this reply, haha, I wrote it in pieces.

Do you have any favorite tracks from the ost? I don't think I can pick just a few, the whole thing is amazing. But I am partial to every song Emi Evans sings, as well as the ones with melodies from the first game's soundtrack (Song of the Ancients, Emil, Grandma) since I have a lot of emotional attachment to those ones! But from Automata, I guess City Ruins, Amusement Park, Forest Kingdom, and Vague Hope stand out to me. I didn't like Weight of the World as much as the first game's ending song at first, but it's grown a lot on me, and after hearing the final version in the last ending of the game it MADE ME CRY and now it's one of my favorites too. But all of the music is so good, I stopped to fish for a good amount of time in each area just so I could sit quietly and enjoy the music.

Yeah same here, I got one game over so far and it was because I had a weaker Persona equipped and forgot to change it while I was fighting a boss. I don't remember the difficulty of P4 very much, but I do remember some tough fights in 3. It makes the P5 battles feel a little boring, but I don't want to switch to hard because I'm trying to get through the game quickly, or I'll never finish it, haha.

I've played like...maybe twice since I sent my last reply. I haven't been in the mood to play lately. But I've finished the casino and now waiting for the deadline. Poor Haru, she's so sweet and I love her thief outfit, but I always forget she exists! Because she joins so late in the game, she just doesn't feel like part of the gang to me. It doesn't help that I haven't used her since the burger dungeon and I haven't even started her social link yet. I've finally maxed out all but one of my stats and made progress on other links so hopefully I'll have time for her soon. I love that she uses such a heavy looking axe though, especially since she looks like she'd be the type to use a rapier instead, haha. I think she has the cutest maid outfit too.

Yes, I think my brother said he got the poster from taking Ann to Harajuku too. I haven't tried it yet, but I did get the star stickers from Yusuke, which I am happy about! At the beginning of the game I thought they were going to let us clean up the room more and decorate it nicer, but no. He's been living out of a cardboard box the whole game! I didn't notice the mattress was on crates. :c I was hoping Yusuke was going to move in too! So it wouldn't be so lonely. Yusuke was practically living at the cafe during summer break though, so at least there's that, haha.

My schedule has been fixed, thankfully. No more clopens for me. And yeah, it has been ridiculously hot over here. But I'm indoors all day in the AC, so it's tolerable. If I had to be outside for more than a minute though, I just know I'd melt. Monsoon season should be starting up soon! I'm ready for that rain! I hope it starts cooling down for you too, it sounds like it's affecting you pretty badly. Take care and stay hydrated!

Oh! I actually started one of the Yoga with Adriene videos! She has a very pleasant voice and personality, and her dog is cute too! I was afraid this was going to be one of those things that I always want to try but keep putting off. I forgot what I was originally doing, but sometimes I like having some kind of video on in the background instead of music, so I thought I'd leave one of her videos running though I wasn't planning on doing yoga at all. And I was looking at the list of her videos and I saw the one titled "Yoga for Neck and  Shoulder Relief " and I was like "That's it! That's the one for me!" and I ended up doing it along with her. It was so relaxing! I did that video again the other day, but I haven't tried any of the others yet. I see that "Yoga for Migraines" up there and I know I'm going to be trying that sometime.

Square breathing is just a simple exercise where you breath in deep and slow for 4 seconds, hold it in for 4 seconds, then exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and repeat. It's calming and relaxing, and sometimes curbs my pain, at least enough to tolerate it until painkillers start kicking in. It sounds like your periods are much worse than mine though. It used to be pretty bad for me in high school though, I had to go home sometimes and occasionally I'd even vomit from the pain. Through the years it's gotten much better, even though there hasn't been much change in my lifestyle. I still get painful cramps but it's like the intensity of it got traded in for additional back pain and sometimes migraines. I'm really glad the yoga and supplements ae working out for you! No one deserves periods.

Oh my gosh. Your sister is crazy. She must be such a pain to live with! Do you think she might have some sort of personality disorder? I just want to believe that no normal person could be like that... I'm also horrified that your dad is spoiling her, don't reward her awful behavior!  I'm also just baffled that she still has a boyfriend, if anyone acted like that much of a self-centered brat to me, they'd be dumped in an instant. I'm glad you aren't letting it get to you though, you don't need to be weighed down with her crap. But if you ever need to rant about her, I'm always ready to listen!

Nice progress on learning Japanese!  Do you use Rikaikun/chan on your browser? It's really helpful for browsing Japanese sites. Man, I've tried to start learning on my own for years and never get past the basic of the basics. I always just review what I already know and then give up when it comes to moving on to the other stuff. I only know hiragana and katakana, and a small vocabulary of words and phrases from anime, haha. And I'm still terrible with katakana. I can't really say that I've actually learned any kanji (just a few) but I can recognize a lot of series and character names in kanji (Thank you pixiv) even though I don't know the meaning/reading of them separately. And after playing Touken Ranbu I learned the kanji for sword, haha. When I started playing Ensemble Stars I was hoping I'd be able to learn some things, or at least be able to practice reading hiragana/katakana in it's natural environment, but it's not really helpful, haha. I hate how addicted I got to that game! It's not even fun but the boys and stories are so CUTE. And that Ritsu figure is finally going to be released this month, I'm excited. He was delayed twice, he was supposed to be out in May so I was starting to get really impatient. I don't even know where I'm going to put him though...

Congrats on your froggies! I love animals. I don't think I've seen many frogs around here! Snakes, and lots of lizards, but no frogs. I never go outside anymore either. It is just too hot in the summer! But in middle school I walked to school, and in high school I'd walk to and from the bus stop, and on the way home sometimes I'd play outside with friends. We used to catch butterflies in the grassy areas.

Thanks very much! I'll have to make a 9S icon to match her eventually. I just feel like I can't have one without the other.

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-07-15 05:50:28 +0000 UTC]

YOU KNOW, I have the Automata ost but I haven't listened to it a lot because I keep thinking I'm going to get game any day now...but I never do.  I want it on sale!  I check everyday.  ONE DAY, IT WILL BE READY FOR ME TO BUY!  Oh, but I hate listening to soundtracks before I play through the game.  It's weird, I know, haha.  I didn't let myself listen to any of the Persona 5's soundtrack until I was completely finished.  I want each song to lead me into the experience as intended, not already be familiar.  So.  I WAIT.

HAHA, I'm glad I'm not the only one who forgets about Haru.  I normally like cutesie characters like her.  I think her frizzy hair bothers me.  It reminds me of a girl who went to the same middle school as me and she used to bark and sniff people.  And then her grandparents tried to sue the school because people started calling her "poodle"...because of the barking...  ANYWAY.  Haha.  Have you seen Haru's concept art?  She was ADORABLE at one point, but then they scrapped it...  SO SAD.

HOLD UP.  WHAT!!  You've maxed out all but one of your stats?!?!?!?!?!  HOW!?!?!?!??!??!?!??!  WHAT DID I DO WRONG!?!?! 

ALSO!!  HODL UP AGAIN HAHA.  DHow did you get the star stickers from Yusuke?  Did you invite him to the planetarium?  I've only been there with Mishima and Yusuke wandered in.  They're all so precious. GURHG!!  I want to grab them all into a BIG HUG.  YES, I always loved when Yusuke came over!  Whenever he did, i was sure to hang out with him, hehe.

OH!  I HAVE GOOD NEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWSSSS.  I did a job interview for Starbucks today and I'm hiiiireeeeeeeeeeddd.  *angel chorus*  I've been so nervous lately I haven't been sleeping well.  I stumbled and stammered through all of it, but the manager was soooo niiiceeeeeeeeeeee.  I'm so happy.  I can't believe it's over and ahh...I just hope it works out.  They still need to run a background check and I'm not even entirely sure what that means but she said as long as I've never murdered anyone, I'll be fine, haha!  Now I'm like, "WHAT IF SOMEONE GOT AHOLD OF MY SSN AND MESSED WITH IT AND BAD THINGS POP UP!"  WE'LL SEE!!  But I'm so excited because our nearest town is like 20-30 minutes away, and this ONE Starbucks is tucked into a weird corner by our house and happens to be 5 minutes away.  There's like..a Starbucks and a CVS and that's IT.  It seemed too convenient to be true, but so far, so good!  AND!  AND!  Apparently they're doing this College Achievement Program thing where they'll pay for you to get your bachelor's degree!!!  PAY.  And it's online, and I was looking it up and they have English and Nursing and Nutrition and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  You can do it even if you're part-time (which I applied for but she hasn't said yet what I'm going to be doing like...at all so I dunno.)  Another thing I'm excited for is that even part-timers get health coverage.  So I can hopefully get some help for my periods!  That's the main thing I'm nervous about like...  I don't want to use sick days at all, so I hope my period just WON'T.  *shudders*  But ahhh....................I'm very excited in case you can't tell.  I couldn't believe it when I was busy feeling like an idiot for stammering and forgetting words and she looked up from writing and said, "well, I'm going to offer you a spot on our team!"  I was like...wait, who.  *sobs*  Training begins at the beginning of August!! I AM READY!!  Funnily enough, the interview was so nerve wracking, buuuuttt I'm not so nervous about starting the actual job.  Well, maybe when I get closer to it, haha.  

HEHE!  BENJI!!  Oh my, I'm still so in love with Yoga with Adriene.  In fact, right before my interview, I did some yoga to try to help!  It really did get rid of that gross flutter in my stomach long enough for me to get there.  ...Though I don't know how much it helped during the interview, haha.  But in any case, my posture was upright so yahhhooo.  Oh!!!  I'm glad you like her!!  I haven't tried the Neck and Shoulder Relief one yet but I don't know why not because that does sound very nice.  I've done the Yoga for Migraines one a few times!!  It does help if you stick through it.  I had a migraine all week and didn't have to take any pain meds....but well...I still had a migraine all week, haha.  Yoga made it manageable though.  Let me know how it works for you!!

I will have to try this square breathing next time!  Adriene has a lot of Pranayama videos that sound very similar to that that I like very much...but one of my nostrils is more plugged up than the other like...constantly (I know you were dying to know that, haha)  so when she does those alternate breathing exercises I can't do them or I'll suffocate and die, haha.  IT SADDENS ME.  

That's so weird that your periods were bad in high school and got better over time without any change in lifestyle...  I wish I knew what did it.  I'm glad they are better though!  Besides the back pain and migraines.  ;__;  Mine is the opposite.  I didn't even feel them in high school.  Now I realize how much I took it for granted.  I was thinking of getting a TENS unit and maybe if I ever get it during a work day I can just...attach it and pray it works...  I don't really know how I feel about a TENS unit though, it sounds so weird to use electricity to trick your neurons.  But then, better than suffering maybe.  

DOESN'T MY SISTER SOUND CRAZY?  Oh my gosh, and I didn't tell you...  Lately, she's been just standing in the hallway staring into people's rooms in the middle of the day.  And she gathers her hands up underneath her chin and hunches her back like a legit crazy person.  But I caught her the other day, just in the hallway, facing into my room, staring.  And it looked like she'd been there for awhile.  She was like...SETTLED. And when she noticed me, she pretended to be looking in my mom's room, but....no.  I had seen.  And now that I mention my mom's room, my other, normal sister says she's caught the crazy one IN my mom's room, by her bed, staring down at it.  Standing.  Staring.  Like.  I want a dang lock on my door, but my dad gets mad whenever I mention how I think she might be legit murdery insane.  But I seriously am concerned for our well-being.  What would a lock hurt???  NOTHING.  BUT WHAT WOULD UNDERESTIMATING HER LEVELS OF CREEPINESS AND WAITING FOR HER TO KILL HER FIRST MARK WHICH WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE ME???!?!?!  IT WOULD HURT MEEE!!!  *screams*  Anyway.  My mom is like, "wow, she needs help" but she doesn't know how to FORCE her to go to a psychologist.  She's like, "We can't just drag her kicking and screaming".  Why.  Not.  FOR THE GOOD OF ALL MANKIND.  But ugh.  Ugh.  She uses at least three bars of soap a day and my mom has this big gallon soaps from Costco she gets and those are going down at least once a week.  You should see the bubbles everywhere.  I go in the shower very carefully because the ground is COATED in SOAP and it's really difficult, even when trying to rinse it all off, to stand without slipping.  She's a nut.  Apparently she's using a ton of shampoo and conditioner too and there's a TOOON more than normal of her hair clogging the drain so she must scrub it like mad.  Oh, her boyfriend, he hasn't been coming around at all.  The last time he did, which was like...gosh, maybe a month or two ago, he didn't even stop inside like he used to everyday.  He just drove up, texted her, drove off.  But it's weird because he used to come over eeeeveerryyydaayyy and now he's gone.  I guess they still text though.  ...I guess it's not that weird if you think about how she treats him.  Anyway.  Hopefully she's able to contain her murder urges until I'm out of here.  Or just contain them forever.  Who knows.  

HAHA, the Japanese thing...that sounds a lot like me.  It felt like I was learning so well in the beginning, but now all I ever do is review.  And even then, none of it seems to be sticking like I'd hope!  Oh!  Touken Ranbu!  Did you watch the anime?  I watched the first episode, but didn't really care for it.  I don't know if I'll continue.  I'll probably give the second one a chance and then decide then.  I really liked the Ballroom anime though!  The art was kinda weird in some parts, but the way they put it all together seems very engaging.  Let's see...  There was another anime too that I watched...  Oh.  Dive.  It was okay.  I am hoping it'll pick up, but it reminded me of an uninspired wannabe Free.  I feel like it could go either way.  The art is cute at least.  I finally got around to watching Boku no Hero Academia!  I really like it.  The characters are all really cute.  It's one of those shows where you're rooting for every single character.  Though...it kind of reminds me of a sweeter Naruto but instead of the ninjas, they're superheroes.  OH!  And then today, my sister and I watched Koe no Kitachi.  You've probably already seen it.  Did you like it?  I actually really liked it.  I was thinking though...how come Your Name. exploded in popularity like it's some magical movie but Koe no Kitachi I've never even heard of.  Not to say it wasn't popular, but man...all I see on Facebook is stuff about Your Name.  I thought it was an okay movie but I just don't understand at all.  

OH!!!  You mentioned monsoons earlier!!  Tell me about those!!  I don't even really know what those are.  Rain in summer???  We never get rain in the summer here.  I kind of wish we just got rain constantly.  I love the rain.  It mellows things out for the most part.  Though apparently our last crazy wet season means more bugs and spiders this summer....  ....No likey.  I have been noticing a lot more spiders.  I thought it was because I didn't add peppermint to my floor cleaner, haha!

HAPPY FRIDAY!  Hope you're well.

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-07-19 23:18:16 +0000 UTC]

I don't think that's weird, I avoid listening to soundtracks before playing games too. I usually don't listen to them at all until I've finished the game! It always feels best to listen to it in it's natural environment first. It makes the parts they play during more memorable too!

Yeah, I just need one more level to max out guts. I tried to play as efficiently as possible, to give me time to do as much as I can. I finished most palaces in 1-2 days, and I only spend one day a month in Mementos. I also tried not to hang out with anyone unless I had a matching persona and prioritized those who were about to rank up. Since some social links gave stat raises as well, I tried to prioritize them. Also, maxing knowledge was easy because my brother finished the game while I was still early in, and for the questions the teachers give in class, he'd tell me if I was about to choose a wrong answer. But for the rest of the stats, there's some little things you can do that don't take up time, like giving the plant minerals, drawing on the chalkboard, always carry some unread books just in case you get a seat on the train.

And yes, the star stickers came from taking Yusuke to the planetarium. I still have nothing to put on my shelf though! My brother has a few things on his, I am so jealous.

OOOOH CONGRATS!!! I am so happy for you! I'm so proud, I hope you are too! It is incredibly hard to make those first steps and go through the interview, but I knew you'd be able to do it eventually. You don't have to worry about the background check, haha! I'm glad your manager was nice, my  managers (and coworkers) are all great and it makes work feel like a more comfortable place. At this point it's basically my second home. Now we can trade work stories too, haha. So the beginning of August? Let me know how it goes!

Actually the one and only major change to my lifestyle that I can think of is that sometime after high school I stopped drinking soda entirely, and even juice and other things, and now I only drink tea and water. The change in my periods was very gradual though so I'm not sure if that helped, or if it just some natural effect of growing older. I hope you are able to find some way to make it at least tolerable for you!

Wooow. I can't believe your sister has gotten even worse. Sounds creepy. At least you'll be at work soon so you won't have to be home with her. Has anyone asked her why she's doing these things? What's her excuse? What is going on in that crazy head of hers? As long as she's living in your parents' house I don't see why they can't force her to see a psychologist.

I saw the first two episodes of Touken Ranbu, but I didn't care for it much. I liked Hanamaru more, it was so cute and I enjoyed that (almost) everyone got a little bit of screentime. I saw the Ballroom anime too! I'll probably continue watching this one. The artstyle reminded me of Haikyuu in some shots. I've also been watching that Vatican anime. I'm not sure what to think of it, haha. Depends on what the third episode is like, but overall I usually enjoy these sort of mystery type anime, even if they aren't that good. It's a nice change of pace from all the SOL and high-school centered anime. I also saw the Castlevania anime last week! I'm not a Castlevania fan or anything, I've only played a very very little bit of the games, but I have always loved the artwork for them. It's always gorgeous. I liked the first episode but the rest of the episodes felt like a generic summer blockbuster. I still haven't seen Koe no Katachi or Kimi no Na Wa! I've been planning on it for a while but keep putting it off. I'm always somewhat baffled at the anime that become super popular though. I've just come to accept that I have unpopular tastes, haha. Not all the time though! Lately instead of watching new anime I've been rewatching Mushishi, it has been years since I've seen season one. I'm still in awe and extremely grateful that it got a second season. OH, and I'm SO EXCITED for the second season of Hoozuki no Reitetsu! That's not until fall season though. I remember a week after the first season ended, I had a dream that a second season was announced. It took years, but finally my dream has come true, haha!

The monsoon is our rainy season! Usually accompanied by thunder too, sometimes it's off in the distance (like right now actually, I can hear some far off rumbling), but sometimes we get some pretty close intense ones too. It feels so weird for the air to be this humid, haha. Everyday at work for the past 3 days, you can hear everyone's phones going off with the flash flood warnings. It hasn't flooded around here though.

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-07-23 07:02:26 +0000 UTC]

RIGHT?  My sister listens to soundtracks before and when the time comes and I'm like THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL, she's just like, "oh."  So.  I think we're making the right decision by waiting.    

Huh.  I wonder what I've been doing wrong.  I feel like I was doing all of those things.  ...Actually, I don't even remember when I maxed out my stats...  Pfft.  

Haha, I have like...one lonely ramen bowl on Akira's shelf and that's IT.  So it almost seems even more sad because it's like...just sitting there.  Alone.  You can't even just ignore the shelves as some extra junk in the corner.  IT'S JUST THERE.

THANK YOOOUUU!!!  I was very excited too.  I don't start until the middle of August...so now I'm just like.  I dunno.  A weird place between being excited and the calm before the nervous storm, haha.  I hope I don't get nervous...  I feel like the worst part is over, but then I'm starting to think like...HOW WILL I REMEMBER ALL THOSE DRINKS??  I like Starbucks and all, but the only thing I ever order are the same two frappuccinos, haha.  I'm hoping they have some good training.  

Oooohhhhhhhhhhh.  That must've been hard putting a stop to drinking soda!  I know a lot of people who just can't do it, haha.  I have never liked soda myself because it burns my nose.  *sobs*  The other day, we went to BURGERIM, some new burger place in town, and they made it so you had to get a soda with your order.  I hate that.  Like.  I just want a burger and fries, why do I need an entire meal plan....  SHADY!!  The only person in the family who really drinks soda is my sister, so she got like five huge things of soda, haha.  BUT!  The soda dispenser was really cool and FUTURISTIC.  You have probably seen it and I'm just now catching up with the times, but it was like...a computer screen that you could press and scroll through to find what you want.  There were so many options; I was overwhelmed.  But still...nothing that I actually drank.  WHERE'S THE TEA??  

When my mom has asked my creepy sister why she washes her hands a billion times she just yells, "I DONT KNOOOOOOWWWW" and that's about all we know.  I really get irritated thinking about it because my parents don't do anything...and lately, she's been starting to use MY soap too and it's been going down like crazy!!  My mom apparently hid her soap so my sister couldn't find it, so now it's MY SOAP that's getting used up.  AGONY!!  This sounds so mean...but I added peppermint oil to it in hopes it'll burn her hands and make her stop, since her skin is so marred and cracked and rubbed raw.  I don't think I added enough because she's still doing it.  I know.  It really does sound horrible.  But I've got to wash my hands too and if I run out of soap THEN WHAT.  She buys herself a ton of clothes and just bought herself a new computer but she can't buy herself her own soap that she wastes like crazy?  I DON'T THINK SO.  And then she's constantly taking a ton of paper towels and using them whenever she has to touch a doorknob.  I am someone who is very careful about recycling and trying to reduce needless waste so every time I see that, I just...  *twitch twitch twitch*  ...PHEW.  I need more Adriene.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, she is doing some sort of yoga festival right now and she's only an hour away from where I live.  I wanted to go sooo badly!  But one, I got my period, so no go, and two, tickets for one day are over $100, not to mention the food and travel and OTHER expenses.  So.  ...Maybe not this time.  But I'm so sad she's so close and I can't do anything!  She just posted a picture of herself there the other day and I was like AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!

OHH!!!!  Did you see the second episode of the Ballroom anime?  I like it a lot!!!  And plus, that like...pinkish haired dancer is so cute, ahshdfakjsdlfahsfhashdfadf.  AHha.  I love his cooooooool attitude and he kind of reminds me of Oikawa.    Oh!  I see you just mentioned Haikyuu!  HaHA!!!  I actually h.a.t.e. how they draw their necks sometimes.  ...Like...everything else is really good but then those NECKS.  And I know a long neck is supposed to be elegant and beautiful and everything but I feel like they took it too far...............  

Oh!  I saw a bit of the Vatican anime!  I really like that OP and the artstyle is pretty nice.  But...I don't like the tone.  It creeps me out and not in a good way.  I'm not into demon things.  Too many demon movies when I was a teen, haha.  Ugh.  

I've been wondering about Castlevania!  I've never played the games or anything, but one of my HS friends was super into it and he usually had good taste (besides Blood +......that left me with a bad feeling).  I'm sad...it seems like the animes Netflix takes on are never that good.  And now they're doing that Death Note movie...  I don't get why they'd take his honor student status and make him some goth punk kid. ....That really irritates me.  That's a huge change and takes away that constant between good boy image to LUNATIC MURDERER which I love.  Oh well.  I'm not like a diehard Death Note fan or anything, but they had something good there that they probably RUINED.  SADNESSS...

Oooh, prophetic dreams, hehe.  I'm glad you're finally getting a second season!!  

Did you ever watch Blue Exorcist?  I've been trying to watch the new series, but it's kind of weird when they just start in the middle of the story to do one arc.  I dislike that a lot.  Same with Kuroshitsuji.  I understand why they don't wait until the manga is done, but then they do weird sub animes at the end and it's like.noaoosooaooooooooooooooooo.  I do love the art and sweet Rin, though.  Yukio reminds me so much of Iida ..?  Iiya...?  That one guy in BnHA with the weird exhaust pipes coming out of his legs.  UGH.  Gives me the creepies!  

Hm...what other anime-y things have I been doing lately...  I feel like I was just reading a manga...............................................  I can't remember now.  Oh, haha, no, it was Boku no Hero Academia.  I remember the good ol' days when I used to be able to just go completely rabid over reading manga.  I dunno why I can't seem to love it that much anymore.  I looooveeeeeeeeeeeed Naruto and Bleach at one point but now I'm sort of indifferent.  Sigh.  

Weird!  Do you not get rain during the winter??  It's so strange to me because I just always assume weather is the way mine is here but HOW OFTEN IS IT NOT??  MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE.  Hot dry summers, medium falls, cold wet winters (unless theres a poopy drought), then medium springs, and then...that's it.  And it's so weird because you don't seem THATTT far from where I live but so different!??!?!  I am looking it up right now.  I am more confused than I was before.  

THE WORLD IS AN INTERESTING PLACE.  

I hope there are no flash floods around you!  Stay safe!  I heard on the news the other day that a family died there from a flash flood!  D:  Scary!

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-07-31 05:12:50 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, do you have to do an orientation first, or do you just go straight into training? I was so stressed out when I started my job, even though it wasn't bad at all! I just couldn't help it. But what also helped me get through it was how surreal it felt, I felt weird being able to just walk into all the employee only areas. It was kind of funny. Too bad the novelty has long worn off by now, haha.

It burns my nose too, I can't handle the carbonation in sodas anymore now that I've stopped drinking it for so long! And they are too sweet. I don't know how I was able to handle drinking it before. I've only seen one of those fancy soda fountains once! I can't remember where it was, though. Now it's going to bother me, haha. I think my dad or brother was with me, I should ask if they remember.

Ah man. Living with her sounds awful. I don't blame you at all for adding peppermint oil to your soap, she's wasting other people's things. :/ Your sister is lucky she isn't at my house, she wouldn't be able to shower so frequently. We had a leak in our pipes, so people have been coming for the past two weeks to work on the plumbing, and sometimes we couldn't use the water while they were working on it. I'm so glad they are done with it though, we are just waiting on some people to come back and finish patching up the hundreds of holes that are now in our house. It's driving me crazy how dusty and dirty the house is! And we had to move a bunch of stuff around and out of the way so some places are all cluttered. I got my Ritsu figure last week but haven't taken him out of his box yet because I want to dust and clean first.

I haven't been keeping up with any of the anime I started, haha. Oh, but I did finally see Kimi no Na wa! I am really surprised that I actually liked it, considering I never like Shinkai's movies. And hearing the Radwimps song made me feel nostalgic, I used to listen to them alot back in the day.

I was really into Death Note when it was ongoing! I think it was the first manga that I actually followed the translations chapter by chapter as they were coming out weekly. I even saw a few of the original Japanese volumes in a used bookstore, and I bought them because they were really cheap! I was hoping I'd be able to read them someday, and use them for practice, but...I'm sure you know how that went, haha. I don't like all the changes they are making in the movie either, but I never watch live action adaptations anyway so I guess it doesn't matter.

I did watch Blue Exorcist, and I had read some of the manga too. That feels like such a long time ago! I don't remember much of it, but I loved Rin too. I do remember how I didn't like the way they were deviating from the manga in the later half of the anime.

Over here it's basically summer for 3/4ths of the year, our winter is really mild. But we get most of our rain and thunderstorms in July. I do remember it raining in February for a couple of years though. Once it even snowed a little, that was very unusual though!

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-08-08 06:30:55 +0000 UTC]

I was supposed to have orientation today, but she had to do something else last second, so now she's adding it to my first official day.  Which I'm kind of sad about because it WAS supposed to be that, on Wednesday, I start at 9 and go until 2, but now it's I start at 7 and go until 2 and my sleep schedule has been go to bed at 2-3 and wake up at noon.  *chokes*  HAHA.  I've been trying to slowly bring my sleep schedule earlier and earlier but I have a feeling it's going to be brutal.  I have work Wed for seven hours, Thursday for five, and then Friday for eight and a half hours, which might not actually be a lot, but it sounds like a lot to me right now especially when I know I'm going to be flustered and confused the whole time, so I'm kind of....well, I'm trying to keep calm about it.  But I am worried!!  Worrying away!  Luckily, Saturday I get off, but then Sunday is seven and a half hours again.  Hm.  Well, at least I get over the amount of hours I need to have the part time benefits, which is what I want, so I can't complain.  Just have to adapt!!  *faints*  Any tips on getting to sleep at the right times and dealing with tiring schedules?  ANY TIPS AT ALL?  I WILL TAKE THEM ALL.  

Haha, the peppermint oil soap trick didn't work at all.  Shoot!  Just wasted some of my oil.  Oh well.  I'm trying to learn to just let it go.  She makes the shower absolutely disgusting and I've been trying to bear it all calmly, but today, I just decided to use the other shower from now on.  No one else uses it because it's small and the shower head sucks, but I think it'll be in my best interest to cut my losses and make the switch.  I had to clean out the drain and use a baking soda/vinegar trick to uproot all the gunk in there!  But now it works like a charm!  And it's so clean and pretty.  I am happy with my work, haha.  And hopefully no one will follow me with my idea.  It's been unused for years, but people like to follow.

Just like my job at Starbucks, now my mom and sister wants to apply to when they hadn't even been interested before.  It's like....I'm glad that they're feeling inspired too, but I'm also irritated because they need to give me my space.  Let me grow beyond being around them all the time.  Sigh.  

We have new neighbors and they're smoking pot right now.  *double sigh*  It's their third day here.  It's really strong and I dunno if I'm imagining it, but my lungs feel weird.  I guess I don't know where else they'd smoke it if not in their own backyard, but the problem is that it's coming into our HOUSE, so it's like...great....  Just yesterday, we brought cookies over to them and the lady there was soooo nice and so we were doing a mini celebration because we were afraid they'd be horrible neighbors but since she was sweeetttt we thought maybe it'd be otherwise.  But then this.  She has three teen boys.  Apparently, her oldest son is 21 and bought her the house, which was over $400k.  OTL  ...  Sigh.  SIGH.  It seems like a strange thing to go over there and be like, "hey, can you please stop smoking because it's getting trapped in our house" but at the same time.......................

Time to move.

Oh no!  I hope the holes in your house are fixed now!  That seems like a super long time for them to be working on the plumping.  Yikes...  Were you able to get drinking water at least?  My grandma uses a a well, I guess, so whenever the power goes out, she can't even get drinking water.  A few years ago, I forget why, but the power went out for almost a week in the dead of winter.  I remember how freezing it was!  I had to walk around in a sleeping bag, and I could see my breath inside.  So cold.  But at least we had water...  My friend also had a well and had to shower at a neighbors house.  I'm pretty sure my grandma had to get a generator.  

Dang!  Your Ritsu figure is gorgeous!!  Sometimes when their boxes are that beautiful, I have a really hard time taking them out of the box at all, haha.  I don't know if I'd be able to do it for that one!  I still have my Zelda amiibos in their boxes and they're not even half as nice.  Alter makes some gorgeous figures.  I'm sad about Victor from Yuri on Ice though!  Before he was painted, he looked beautiful, but the painting job really sucks and is super bland...  See?  
img.amiami.jp/images/product/m…
I can't even consider buying it, which is crazy because I love Victor and thought I'd buy whatever was made of him. But no.  And now, some other brand released a figure of him that's almost $150 and his face is SO ugly and CHEAP looking.  I really think these companies are just churning out figures of him as quickly as they can to hit the height of YoI's popularity, not caring what they look like because the fans will probably buy it.  ...I want a beautiful figure of him...  But as it is, I don't even feel the pull to buy one at all even if I had the money, so maybe it's a good thing.  

Haha, Kimi no Na wa!  So weird.  I think I'm the only one in the world who doesn't like it.  I really just don't understand it.  Oh well.  Life goes on.

I have to ask.  Have you read Killing Stalking?  I am so surprised by how popular it's gotten.  My dad's friend's daughter is 15 and the first thing she asked me when I told her I liked anime is if I'd read Killing Stalking because it is "sooo amaziiingg".  LIKE.  WHEN DID GORE AND BRUTALITY BECOME COOL AND POPULAR??  And then some translator I really respect who seems to have good taste just read it for the first time the other day and now she's flipping out over Sangwoo!  HE'S A PSYCHO.  HE MURDERS PEOPLE AND IS jusuts!?!?!?  WHATS HAPPENING????  I don't get it.  I see it all over Tumblr and it's upsetting.  Like...I can understand from the perspective of thinking it's a good thriller I guess?  But then when people are like "I want to have Sangwoo's babies" like.............................................I feel like we're reading a different manga.  Or is it like...a viral joke that I'm not in on??  I have no idea.  I just can't understand it and I'm super horrified.  

Did I tell you I'm trying to wake up earlier and earlier?  So I have that one flux program thing to make the screen dim and help you sleep, but it has my screen so dark I feel like I can barely see it, haha.  I can't even see my bookmarks bar.  I also have only one little light on in my room.  I really want to make this transition as easy as possible.  I heard Starbucks employees open at 4:15.  God.  ....How.  I mean, even still, I think I do prefer doing things earlier in the day and then having the rest of the day free to do other things, but right now I'm like *GASP*.  I used to have to wake up at 6 for high school and I'd literally wear my clothes for school to bed so I could just roll out of bed, brush my teeth, maybe brush my hair, and then leave.  I have a feeling I haven't changed that much from then, haha.  *sobs*  

Okay.  I'm going to stop talking about that FOR NOW, haha.  I'm very nervous.  Buzzing with energy sort of nervous and on top of it, it's a full moon, so even on an uneventful night, I still have a hard time sleeping.  But all this work stuff is a good nervous, I think!  I'm trying to stay positive!  I do feel happier...it feels almost like...I'm finally getting out of a ditch that had gotten really really bad and deep and I thought I'd never get out of it.  I mean, I haven't started yet or anything, of course, but just the fact that things are starting to slowly get moving is really encouraging and makes me happy!  Oh!  And also, can you believe it...I called a place that was supposed to take my insurance back in the beginning of June and they never called me back, so I just thought I'd never be able to see a doctor until I got insurance from Starbucks.  WELL!  They JUST called back today and said they will call me back in a week or so to schedule an appointment for me.  Isn't that crazy!!!  I never thought I'd be this excited to see a doctor, but here I am.  YEAH!  TAKE MY BLOOD!!  Haha.  

Your weather sounds so crazy weird there!!  Though it just rained the other day for us too, I guess, but that's like...once every few years in summer.  And it must've rained for only like two seconds because I SAW NOTHING.  I was asleep.  Sigh.  

It's so weird to even be considering sleep at 11.  What time do you go to sleep if you have work early the next morning?  And what time do you generally have to go into work?  I remember for school, I'd shoot for at least 6 hours of sleep a night, but I was always exhausted and couldn't focus in class, so I'm thinking I should get more than that.  Hm.  There is this sleep calculator online that is supposed to count your REM cycle backward from the time you wake up to tell you the best time to go to sleep.  Oh, here it is.  Sleepyti.me.  BUT.  ...I wonder if it still works if I get up to go pee like fifty times a night, haha.  Oh well.  OH MY GOSh, flux is reading my mind and a pop up just came on to tell me I wake up in 8.5 hours.  Okay.  WELL FINE.  SO PUSHY.  

OFF TO BED ...I will try at least.  Toodleoo!

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-08-18 06:46:13 +0000 UTC]

Aww man I've been wanting to reply to this sooner! I went to Starbucks the other day and thought of you! I've been wondering how things have been going for you. Wow, you're jumping right into it. They were giving me 5 hour shifts when I first started. Then they just gradually increased and now I feel like I practically live there. 8 hour shifts are the norm for me now, and you do get used to it.

I don't really have any sleeping schedule tips...I just go to sleep when I feel tired! I don't know about you, but before I started working I had a VERY inactive lifestyle. So running around and being on my feet all day really wore out. Going to bed early was easy because I was so exhausted I didn't feel like staying up. I don't have any trouble falling asleep anymore either. It helps to do your bedtime routine (changing, brushing teeth, etc) earlier and not have it be the last thing you do before you go to sleep, and leave yourself the rest of the night play on the computer or whatever you like to do before you sleep. Then when you feel sleepy, just drop everything and go straight to bed! Seriously, as soon as you feel sleepy. Don't be like, "Oh, I'll go after I finish watching this video" or "When I reach the end of this chapter" Just DROP EVERYTHING IMMEDIATELY and go to bed. I used to be pretty good about this, but lately I've been staying up later than I should. I don't remember what it's like to not feel tired, haha.

We had water, it's just when the plumbers came they'd turn the water off from the morning until the afternoon while they worked on it. When they left for the day they'd turn it back on for at least one bathroom. Luckily I was usually at work all day when they were here. It's basically all been finished except for one bathroom which will be finished on Tuesday. They were behind on their other jobs so this got pushed back too.

Yeah, Ritsu is just so lovely! Even my mom likes him, and she didn't seem to care for my Touken Ranbu figures for whatever reason. I've finally cleaned my room and taken him out of his box. Now I can see all his beautiful details up close~  Aww man, that is such a shame about the Victor figure. What really bothers me though is that they picked such a bland outfit. There's all those beautiful, memorable skating outfits and they chose plain black shirt and pants? Why?? I feel like YoI has a good chance of having more figures made for it due to it's popularity, so maybe they'll make a really good, high quality one eventually. I think with those ice skating outfits it's too good an opportunity for them to pass up.

I haven't even heard of Killing Stalking before, I've sadly started falling of the anime/manga loop for a while now. I used to read a lot of gore and horror, mostly out of morbid fascination. I know nothing about the manga at all but just from what you said it sounds to me like it's a bunch of young teenage girls who like the murderer just because he's good looking and they think it's different and cool and edgy or something.

I have flux too! I have a screen dimmer/blue light filter on all of my digital stuff- computer, tablet, phone. It makes everything so much easier on the eyes at night. I definitely prefer going in early as opposed to closing at 10, like I did tonight. It's just so much nicer to go in earlier and come home earlier and have the rest of the day to myself. Not only do I feel more sleepy when I have go to work in the afternoon, but even if I work the same amount of hours, it feels like it takes up the majority of my day since I tend to sleep in and only have a few hours before I have to go to work...then I get out late so I'm only up for a couple of hours before going to bed again.

I have no regular work hours, so I can't really answer your questions. The only certainty is that I go in every Sunday at 5 am. I don't even have a regular bedtime anymore either. Just whenever I feel like it. 8 hours seems to be a good amount of sleep to aim for though. It isn't necessarily how much sleep you get but the quality of your sleep and when you wake up. Sometimes, if I wake up before my alarm, I just stay up because I know I'll feel more tired if I go back to sleep. But sometimes I do need that extra bit of sleep. It's just something you have to feel out for yourself.

I hope work has been going well for you! You should be proud of yourself, because it's a big change to make and adapt to. Even though it will be hard at times, the more you experience the easier everything will become! Let me know how things have been going so far!

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-08-19 08:04:10 +0000 UTC]

Okay, so uh...............................*coughs dryly*  YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS...but I quit just today.  Yeah.  Ummm...  Hear me out here!!!  

The first few days were actually okay because my trainer was AWESOME.  I love her so much.  She is so sweet and precious and loves anime and video games and dance and basically all the same things that I do, so we got along together super well.  And that was great.  But then I only got her for a few days.  And she usually opens in the mornings at 4:15, but I was doing like...9-ish and stuff, so she was gone.  BUT.  I didn't know much, so I was basically still in "training" mode, yeah?  And though Starbucks may seem simple...like...order, get drink, leave...it's really REALLY complicated internally.  

There are usually like five roles at any given time and each person has a different role.  And mine was usually "CUSTOMER SUPPORT" or the register.  So customer support was where you're set on this timer of eight minutes.  And right when it goes off, you reset it and start a fresh batch of coffee.  Simple enough.  But then you're given this list of tasks to do and you try to finish it in those eight minutes before it goes off again and so you're constantly running around...like...literally rushing the entire time to clean everything and restock everything for the other employees like the ice and beans and remake the tea and replenish the soap and mop the floors and clean the bathrooms and take out the trash and do the dishes before they run out...etc.  All the while circling back to brewing the coffee.  So like...the "LEGS" for everyone who's stuck at their posts.  Anyway.  Each other person in a role would start running out of things and tell me and I'd have to run and retrieve it and refill it for them.  And somethings I'd have to remake which I rarely knew how...  It was hectic and I never knew where anything was, so I was constantly asking.  But that would waste time and I'd start to fall behind and the list of other things I'd need to refill would build up dangerously and THEN, I'd need to rebrew the COFFEE TOO.  *wipes forehead*  

Then the REGISTER was an even bigger problem because each drink is so customizeable it's not like you can just scan in a drink or type it in.  There are like....tabs among tabs among other tabs that all have a different category and you go click that, but then to find the "decaf" or other modification, you have another tab with other options, or the "with room" or the "extra whip" or the "no liquid cane syrup" or "double shots".  All different tabs in a page filled with many different options.  The thing is seriously huge.  And some of the orders are nuts and the customers know them of course, so they're shooting them off like gun shots.  And there are even some drinks that don't have an official name, so you just have to know off the top of your head what the ingredients are and ring it up that way.  So it's like...this huge maze of a register.  It's seriously awful.  But that was all just a matter of learning it and getting comfortable with it.  So these were just temporary problems.

The real problem was in this: once my trainer was gone, I was left with the other partners who were SERIOUSLY unhelpful.  Like...I'd ask them something and one of them literally slammed the refrigerator door loudly, tossed their arms into the air and yelled, "WHAT".  And I'm...bad at getting yelled at.  Like...it shocks me and makes me wither inside like a little old flower.  And my mind blanks and I'm just like -------------~```l.....  Another time, someone listened to me asking "where does this go?", then sneered, "I'm SURE you'll figure it out," turned, and left.  Like.  what.  I didn't think they were bad questions either!  I just needed to know where things went and where things were!  ANOTHER time, someone ELSE asked me to refill the soap, and since I'd never done it, I didn't know where the soap was, so I said, "sure!  Where's the soap?"  She like...stopped for a second, then laughed and shook her head, rolling her eyes, and was just like, "...I'm going on break...."  and left.  Even the shift supervisors, when I'd ask questions, would get really frustrated and sometimes would flat out IGNORE me and keep going, leaving me stranded with an irritated customer and ME having NO idea which tab to choose for the ring button.  So I was just...ugh.  (I missed my trainer so muuucchhh!!!)

That was frustrating enough being ignored like that.  But then, my manager accidentally scheduled me for the first day of school, which everyone had been worried about like it was D-Day and she had even said specifically I was getting that day off so they could handle it.  They thought it was Wednesday, but that was just the high school, whereas the other two schools started Tuesday.  SO.  The shift supervisor thought it'd be a good idea to put me on register even though I was like, "I REALLY don't know where anything is!" and he was like, "it's fine, it's fine."  It wasn't fine.  I really didn't know where anything was.  The line started going out the door and people were started to get mad at me and get all snippy.  Which, of course, didn't help my listening skills any better when I was flustered and had my heart pounding and fingers sweaty.  I just felt like I was drowning.  I was supposed to write the names down of the people and then the item of food they ordered but my hands were shaking so badly and getting all tingly I could barely do it.  And then I was supposed to get both the coffee and the food warmed up, but I didn't know the names of things or what they LOOKED like or whose order was whose and I was getting so confuuuseeedd.  And on top of that, communicating with each customer and constantly being like, "I'm so sorry, I'm new to the register and can't find things quickly yet" over and over and over was exhausting.  And people are SO RUDE.  I'd get the worst death glares.  Everyone was so ENTITLED and bitchy.  I think they were irritated in the first place because they had to wait in this huge line and then I'm taking FOREVER and scrambling and probably getting everything wrong.  But one lady I remember in particular had JUST ordered.  Like.  JUST.  I had just put the food in the oven after telling her her food would be at the window when it was ready and she had looped around and was like, "EXCUSE ME" and I'm like, "yes?"  and she goes, "WHEEres me FOood ANd DRINK!!"  And i'm just like..
what.
And so I'm like, "did you want it heated?"
and shes like YESsss
And I'm like, 'Oh...okay...it's in the oven right now.  It'll be right up for you."
And she's just like, A"DN ym DRInK!?!? "
And I' just like, "it's......being made andw ill alsoo be rightuap..."
And she's just like, "WULL I see A bucnh OF peonple Runign ABROUnd And I still Dont HAve my STUFHFF"
and im just likeeeanahaaksdjfasndckdakee  ?????
ANYWAY NAYWy.
Some people were actually quite nice and were like, "wow, what a day to learn!  But you'll get it soon and be a pro!"  And I was just like AHHAHAHAhaha *delirious wheezing* But a lot.  A lot were rude.  A surprising amount.  Didn't help my opinion of humanity.  And my fellow partners were unhelpful.  And even my manager...apparently she was in the Navy so she's super tough.  Super tough.  And everyone has their Starbucks faces on outside, but when they're in the little side office thing, like.....*covers eyes and ears*.  One example: my trainer ordered something they were out of...I forget what, but apparently it was expensive and my manager hadn't wanted it ordered or something, I don't know.  So she started yelling, cussing my trainer out.  Like.  Loud.  Cussing.  Hands in the air.  I don't even know.  I couldn't even recreate or do that if I tried.  I was so stunned as I sat there.  And my trainer is just like, really quietly and apologetically, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry."  And the manager just KEEPS.  Going.  Like tantrum cussing.  I'm just so not used to that sort of thing.  It is horrifyingggg.  Like something you'd see in a movie with a crazy person waving a gun around.  MAYBE IM SUPER SHELTERED.  And I don't know if that's a normal thing or not in the workplace (is it????) but it seriously freaked me out.  I think that was the first time I was like, "oh, god...what did I get myself into..."

I've been in a good place mentally lately...or so I felt anyway, in comparison to normal, but I've cried so much over this past week.  I had to go to the bathroom several times to just sit on the toilet and cry and try to get ahold of myself.  And several times as I was out and about in front of the other employees, stupid TEARS woudl be lIKE HEYOOO HERE I AMMM This SUUKCCKKSSS.  I just felt like I was constantly struggling to hold back tears.  And then I'd start getting panic attacks at home and just totally dread, with all my being, going back.  I did NOT want to be yelled at but she was constantly stressed and upset it seemed like.  I hated how everyone treated me like I was this useless pest and they didn't want to help me.  And maybe I'm over sensitive...like...I know I am, and maybe they didn't mean some of the things that seemed like WHOA to me but it was just..nuts.  I still am getting these rushes of anxiety throughout my chest even today just thinking about it.  I've been having a hard time eating and I keep gagging and my stomach's been messed up since I started.  Just a week and a half, but my system is starting to get seriously raw and messed up.  Knots in my stomach.  Other things.  I won't get into it.  Ugh.

Anyway, so I just...before it got too late into it...apparently I'm still in the "training" period or something, so I'm SUPPOSED to be an extra hand and not in a role...before THAT, I just messaged the manager and told her like, "hey, i'm getting panic attacks and am sick and can't keep up with this pace and i can't go on".  I went into more detail about my anxiety and stuff  to try to get her to understand fully like...WHY and it was this long in depth paragraph.  And I was kind of expecting to be cussed out or something, but all she replied was, "well. I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm going to need an official notice of resignation."  And that was it.  I'm guessing she was mad.  But.  At least I didn't get cussed out.  I asked if she wanted to have like...an exit meeting.  My aunt owns a company and said she does that so the employee can tell her what they think went wrong and why they were leaving, but my manager didn't want to see me, haha.  Anyway.  ANYWAY.  

I'm pretty disappointed.  I'm not sure if it was just the job or the people there or just me...I did love quite a few of them that I was really excited to get to know, but the other few I was just like...wow.  I really didn't want to give up.  But I just hated it.  Hateddddd.  I really liked my trainer.  Seriously like...she is such an angel.  I feel really bad like I betrayed her by leaving.  But like...I just need to find someplace where the energy isn't so insane-o.   A sensitive quiet little hole in the wall where I can take time to breaaatthhh.  And not panic.  Ugh.  Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.  

And my mom is just like, 'I'm really disappointed' and I just ugh.  I thought it was a step forward, but I guess not.  And I'm not sure if I made the right choice by quitting or not, but I do feel like it was...  Right now, at least.  They were all very tough but even if I could get used to being yelled at or cussed out, I don't WANT to be the sort of person who doesn't blink at that sort of behavior.  I don't want it to rub off on me somehow.  They were all bitter and seemed to hate their jobs.  Even the shift supervisors who had been there for years and knew everything about everything would be like, 'I'm so overwhelmed, so fucking overwhelmed, I hate this."  And I'm just like.......whoa.  

It was bad.  Really bad.  But it's funny because, on the outside, with customers in sight, everyone's smiling and pleasant, but no.  No, they're not just perky and sweet, they're just ACTING.  Actually!  It might just be this one.  This Starbucks had won some party or something, so they got the afternoon off to have a party.  So another Starbucks crew came in to take over for us, but somehow, I was still on the schedule, so it was just me and this other crew I'd never met before (I swear my manager was scheduling me at weird times on purpose.  It happened like three different times.  Even my trainer and shift supervisor were looking at my schedule with foreheads and brows wrinkled, saying, "...this schedule is really brutal, she usually doesn't do this to new people...  I wonder if this is a mistake..."  I don't know what this means.)  So anyway, the other crew was suppper niiceeee.  My trainer had told me initially not to ask my manager any questions because she'd snap at me and yell.  But this other manager would come behind me when I was on register and try to point out things when I struggled and was encouraging and sweet instead of just blasting past me and ignoring my dying cries for help.  And I was just like ;__;  PLEASE STAY.  And the other worker would zip past me and be like, "doing well?? need help??"  And I was like ;__;  YOU STAY TOO!  

So I'm like...just confused.  I don't know what is NORMAL in the work force, you know?  Am I just a super sensitive baby who can't take it when things get the least bit tough??  Probably.  But I have to believe there are other people out there that fit my ...energy??  People I can work with where I don't feel afraid if I mess up I'll get yelled at or bullied.  What was so weird though was that all the employees loved my manager.  They said she was tough, but fair, and wouldn't force them to take shit from angry customers.  So...I don't know.  Maybe, with time, it would've been okay??   It's too late now in any case.  I still am sick and exhausted.  Even if it was a week, I started going to bed at 9:30 hahahaha.  And was STILL so exhausted.  Even when I only worked for four hours and forty-five minutes (which...aren't you supposed to get a break for that amount of time??  Others were getting breaks even though they arrived after me, and when I asked if I was getting one because I was super thirsty, they just switched my role to something else and said I wasn't getting one yet...) I was still SO TIRED when I came home.  I'd just collapse and like...coma-nap until bed time and then sleep.  Then get up and do it all over again.  I don't know how they survive honestly.  I'm still so tired and just...frustrated.  I NEVER WANT ANOTHER STARBUCKS AGAIN.
Okay.  That's probably a lie.
But I definitely never ever ever want to work at one again.  EVER.  Not that I can.  I think I'm on their x list now, hahaha.  

But actually, I don't REGRET it.  Because now I know something very important:  I definitely never want to work in a job like this ever.  fucking.  again.  So I'm going to fight for a job that suits me.  I don't know what.  But I feel like I've learned something very important about myself and what I want.  So that's good.  I'm glad for that at least.  

But wow, okay, I just totally went off and vomited that whole message off.  NOW TO REPLY TO YOURS!!!  I like how they started you on five hour shifts!!  I wish they had done that with me.  I kind of wonder if that would've conditioned me a little bit better instead of overwhelming me.  One of the first days, I had an eight and a half hour shift and it just about killed me.  Especially when it's a day full of trying to remember things.  My pea brain can't take it.  But wow, eight hour shifts for you!  How many days a week do you usually work?  How many hours??  I think my first week was 27 hours...which doesn't actually sound like a lot, but I started Wednesday so...that's 27 hours in four days.  So that's like a third, haha.  Ugh. 

Yes!!  I was sleeping so easily, haha.  The difficult part was trying to peel myself out of bed.  I actually didn't turn on my computer AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLL from Wednesday until just yesterday, haha!!  That is unheard of for me.  I don't think there's been a single day in between when I bought this until now that I didn't use my laptop.  I wasn't reading, I wasn't watching anything, I was just collapsing and dying.  Oh no!!!!!!!!!!  I'm sorry you're still so tired all the time.  ...Oh man, I had a lot of respect for you prior to this, but now like....I don't even know.  SO SO SO MUCH RESPECT.  I don't know how you can do it!!  It requires so much energy that I don't even think my body can generate.  Like...PHYSICALLY.  I AM SENDING PEACEFUL HELPFUL WAVES YOUR WAY.  HEAL HEAL HEAL REST REST REST.

Oh man, Killing Stalking.  It's like...a....manhwau??  Manwhua?  I don't know.  A Korean comic?  They seem IIIINNN these days.  I actually really do like a lot of the Korean comics!!  My favorite is HEAVEN AND HELL ROMAN COMPANY.  The main characters remind me of Ian and Aiden, haha.  They're an angel and a demon, working together!  The art is so cute.  The story is so cute.  I want to eat it up.  Anyway...  YEAH.  Killing Stalking.  I don't even know....  I've been following it because...I dont even fucking KNOW, but there's this police officer who is the only guy with ANY MORAL COMPASS and he just got stabbed by the psycho murderer and I think he's going to die and people in the comments are CELEBRATING.  IM HORRIFIED.  I'm still so sad for humanity.  SIgh.

Oh, yeah!  The REM cycles!  There's this site...I think it's like sleepyti.me or something, where you put in what time you're going to wake up and it'll tell you what time you should go to sleep so you can wake up after your REM cycle and not during it.  I really like it!  But I could never actually match up my schedule that well haha.  I'd always be like, "I CANT GO TO SLEEP THAT EARLY" or "BUT THATS IN LIKE TWO HOURS AND I NEED SLEEP NOW".  ...But I like the idea, haha.


Anyhoo, thanks for the job advice!!  I like hearing about your experiences since I don't really know anyone who works???  My cousin works at Facebook, but he's in the city and it's sooo different from where I live.  

I hope your work is going really well for you!!  I'd bet you're a pro by now!!  

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-08-24 03:53:16 +0000 UTC]

Oh no! I'm sorry it turned out so awful for you. I don't blame you for quitting, I would have done the same. It really isn't worth your well-being. I'm shocked at how bad your coworkers were! Since you said before that your manager was nice in the interview, I thought that it was a good sign. How do they expect a new hire to learn if no one bothers to answer your questions? To me that just seems like they're hurting themselves too, like if you aren't able to do something because you don't even know how, that means they'd have to pick up the slack. I just can't believe they actually treated you like that.

I wish you could come work at my store! I think it would suit you much more than Starbucks. My experience was like the complete opposite of yours. When I first started, I was prepared for the worst, but everyone was so nice and helpful. And they still are! On my first several shifts by myself, without a trainer, the manager on duty would always check in with me a couple of times during my shift to make sure I was doing ok and ask if I had any questions about anything. I was off to a rocky start with one of the managers though, I don't know how to explain, she was nice but I found her a little intimidating sometimes. I got plenty of praise from everyone else, but it's like whenever I made mistakes, it was in front of her. But some of them were because no one had taught me little things that are basically second nature to everyone else. After a while she seemed to realize that and had someone else teach me some things, and then there was less tension between us. Now that manager is one of my favorites, and she's recently been working more often in my department, so I get to see her more which is nice!

I guess I'm pretty lucky that the store I work in is one of the smaller Targets, and it's in the outskirts of town in a nice area. So the customers aren't usually too bad. Actually, when I first started working, I was surprised at how nice most are. From all the retail horror stories I've heard here and there, I thought terrible customers (It's so strange for me to call them customers, we always have to call them "guests" haha ) were like a daily occurrence, but they really aren't! Not out on the sales floor, at least. If you're working customer service or cashier, you get those awful ones much more frequently. I know I've overheard some horrible stories from the service desk and one of the girls said she gets pretty stressed out from working there. And I 've always thought I'm rather sensitive myself, but so far I haven't wanted to cry yet, thank goodness. I've gotten irritated, and pissed off at guests, but no tears! And I'm shocked at how childish and ridiculous grown adults can be. It's unbelievable. Like...some people will make such a fuss and hold up the line for a dollar. ONE DOLLAR. Now that I think about it, guests are the only thing I hate about my job. I'm pretty much exclusively softlines, and I actually enjoy folding and hanging clothes and organizing things. It can get hectic and overwhelming during busy times, but having coworkers to help out or just complain to makes it bearable. It's comforting to suffer with others who are in the same boat, haha.

Food service jobs always seemed so intimidating to me, I just know I'd be awful at it. I think you made the right decision in quitting. You were probably just very unlucky to end up with such awful coworkers, that other Starbucks crew sounded nice to work with. Don't let this get you down, you did great to even go into the interview and get hired in the first place. And now you'll have something to compare future jobs to. I doubt it could get worse than that!

I always work 5 days a week. And I've actually been getting a full 40 hours the past three weeks, but otherwise I'm usually in the mid to high 30s. And it's been kind of fun because so much stuff is clearanced out and we're setting our new brand that's just come in! And the back to school rush has ended, so our mess of a store is finally shaping back up and we're catching up on things that have been piling up. I'm only tired because I'm stupid and have been staying up later than I should because I get hooked on Youtube recommendation chains. If I would just be good and go to sleep sooner, I'd be fine.

I still haven't been reading any manga or watching any anime, but I did start Tales of Berseria the other day! I'm not very far in, but I'm loving it. It's off to a great start.

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-08-25 08:15:31 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so muuuch.  You couldn't have said nicer things.  I think I needed to hear that.  My mom's been irritated with me for quitting so early on and it doesn't help with the guilt and feeling of failure.  *stabs self*  But I still think I made the right decision.  I just need to find something that suits me better.  I had to pick up my paycheck today and I REALLLYYY didn't want to!!  Haha.  I was hoping it'd be delivered to my bank account on its own since I signed up for the instant bank payment thing but I guess it didn't go through.  Poo!  I didn't know what to expect - if they'd be upset with me like I'm sure they are.  But they were nice about it and my trainer was there, so I was happy to get to talk to her.  It was sooo awkward though.  Awkward to the max.  WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.  Agony.  

But I'm glad I did that.  Apparently, my sister's boyfriend worked at Bevmo for like three days and then quit, so he had his mom go pick up the jacket he left there and his paycheck, haha!!  At least I'm not that bad.  He's older than me too, I think!  Oh well.  I definitely get where he's coming from since I was nervous the entire time going there, ahha.  

But yeah!  I'm starting to rethink my initial impressions with people.  I seem to always think people are really nice at first...  We just got new neighbors (I think I might've already mentioned it) and my parents were like, "nooo, we don't want new neighbors!"  And I was like, "let's try to be positive!  Maybe they'll be good friends!"  And so my sis baked cookies and we brought them over and welcomed them to the neighborhood and the mother there seemed SO nice and precious and I was like, "YAY!!!  WE HAVE GOOD NEIGHBORS!"  WELL!  Now they just smoke pot right outside our window all the time and it's super strong and horrible.  They try to turn off the light to be sneaky I guess??  But we KNOW it's them.  We can HEAR them; their house isn't much further than a few feet. And the other day, we were smelling something like burning plastic during the time they usually do their pot sessions and my dad seemed to think it smelled like METH and the description from online does match the smell....  So it's like.  ...............My optimism seems as if it were all for nothing, sob sob.  We've never had this problem before.  Like...I don't care what they do in the privacy of their own home, but when it starts smelling up your neighbor's entire house too, like...COME ON.  GROSS.  

But anyway, back to the job fiasco.  I mean, I think they were all probably nice people...I just think things got so hectic and they didn't have much time for their OWN things and then they had me going, "HELP HELP HELP" every second and their patience just went NOPE!  Gotta prioritize the customers.  I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore, but I still just wonder sometimes what happened.  Was it me imagining things instead of just going with the flow and not taking everything so dang personally?  Or did they actually hate me for some reason before I even started?  The break thing did seem pretty weird to me how I didn't get one the entire shift even though others did.  I even mentioned it.  And how I kept getting scheduled really long hours the first week...  Seven hours the first day and eight and a half the next?  Mysterious.  But that doesn't make sense why she'd hire me then if she didn't like me from the beginning.  It is a mystery indeed!!

Oh my goodness, I so wish there was a Target portal and I could just transport to your Target and work there with you, haha.  Oh man, but then you would have to put up with my million questions game and I wouldn't want to have to put you through that, haha.  Ooh!  I love hearing about your job!!  I'm so glad that you have a good team that helped you so much in the beginning!!  You know, I don't know if I've ever seen someone being trained at Target before.  That's so sweet of the manager to check in on you.  Like...that's what I THOUGHT it'd be like, so I was kind of surprised when it didn't turn out like I imagined, haha.  I'm glad to hear that not all places are so...set you free like a bird into the sky sort of way.  

Haha, oh no, I'm sorry to hear about the tension between yourself and the manager at first.  What sort of mistakes would you make?  So funny how now she's one of your favorites!  That's kind of what I worry I missed out on by not sticking to it here.  Like...what IF I just made assumptions right off the bat, but deep down, I could've ended up getting along with them?  Now I'll never know.  Well!  Whatever will be, will be.  QUE SERA, SERA.  I like that saying, haha.  I heard it in a movie once and my mind was blown.  

ANYWAY.  YEah, I definitely don't think I'd ever want to handle returns at any store ever, haha.  I feel like I don't even return things that often, but the few times that I do, I have heard SOME CRAZY arguments.  The one that cracks me up the most was this old lady who had one of those weird phones that have a set amount of minutes on it that you use up.  And she had apparently used all of them up and then went to the store to try to return it months later, haha.  And the return people were calmly trying to explain to her that she can't get a refund if she's completely used the item dry...but she was NOT having it and yelling her head off at them.  It was pretty horrifying and I wasn't even the one being yelled at.  They had to bring someone else to the front and he quietly escorted her away.  I sure hope they didn't give her what she wanted; she was being so awful.  

Oh no!  What have the...guests? - that sounds weird to me, haha! -  what did they do to irritate you??  I'm so glad that you like your job and seem so comfortable with it now!  But oh man, in just the few days I worked at Starbucks, it was really disheartening what you learn about people.  I think my perspective has changed on humanity.  You're right - adults can be so childish and ridiculous!  Worse than some children even!  I've learned that growing up doesn't necessarily mean learning anything along the way.  Some people will remain toddlers forever.  Oh man, I don't want to be like that.  I've got to grow too!  Meep!  I am now trying to be even kinder to people out and working.  Like when they ask, "how are you today?"  I try to make sure to ask how they are too.  It's such a small thing.  I tried to do that before too, but now I want to make EXTRA sure.  It kind of surprised me how little people actually asked that back when you asked them.  Most I'd be like, "HI! How are you today?" and they'd just be like, "I want this" and shove it at me and then start rooting in their purses.  I guess they just see employees as worker ants and not actual people.  Not that it was a huge deal or anything, but when someone WOULD ask how I was doing back, I'd just about have a heart attack and I'd feel so touched, haha.  THEY NOTICED I WAS A PERSON.  *wipes away tear*  

Wow, 40 hours!!!  Isn't that full time?  Did that just happen or did you request to get so many hours?  That sounds so impossible to me right now.  Oh man, I'm tired just hearing that.  When I only worked 27 hours, I was passed out basically every moment I was home and I was STILL exhausted. My stomach is still messed up from it all.  Sigh.  Actually, it's kind of funny.  I didn't eat a lot when I was working because there was NO TIME and then when there was time, I felt so sick I didn't even want to eat, so I just...didn't really eat much unless I absolutely forced myself.  I just didn't ever FEEL hungry.  But these past few days, all I've felt is hunger.  I am hungry right now, but I'm not REALLY.  I've been eating so dang much I think my body's trying to find some sort of balance.  I wonder if I would've found it if I had kept at it or if I'd just been drilled to the ground!  Always wondering!  

Seriously.  Thank you soooo much for your kind words.  Your support really means so much to me.  I always go back and forth in my head like a dumb ping pong match.  It's nice to hear your steadying words!!  

Ooh, Tales of Berseria!  I have that on my Amazon wishlist and I keep watching that price.  I am hoping Black Friday will bring me many good video games this year, fufufufu.  So close now!!  I stopped watching anime when I started Starbucks which was like...two weeks ago now.  It seems like forever ago for some reason, pfft.  I actually hadn't even turned on my computer during that time either!  So weird to me.  I don't know where you find the time to reply to my messages.  I hope you know if you're too busy and tired, not to worry about replying!  I'm patient.  I can wait.  

Thanks again!!  I read your message last night, and then this morning, when the manager texted and told me the check was ready, I read your message AGAIN because it gave me peace, hehe.  

Thank yoooouuu!  Have a great weekend!!

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-09-02 06:22:16 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I believe you made the right decision too. I can understand why you'd have feelings of guilt and failure, I know I would too, but you have to try to get rid of those feelings because it's ok! You didn't do anything wrong. It sounds to me like you were trying your best. Everyone seems to think that food service/retail jobs are easy low-level jobs than anyone can do, and while it's true the manual tasks are things nearly anyone can be taught, when you add in dealing with customers/coworkers/management and having double the workload on a busy day... Retail and food service have a high turnover rate for a reason! It really isn't something that "anyone" can do. And I've even trained someone who never came in again after her first day, so at least you gave it more time than that!

Aww, I'm sorry about your new neighbors! Can't you report them for that? Do you have any other neighbors nearby that have been bothered by it? My mom is a confrontational person so she'd have no problem telling them to do it somewhere else. OTL It sounds awful having to live next to them. It seems like you're just having a terrible string of bad luck, I hope that means something really good is going to happen to you in the near future! I feel like it has to even out somehow.

If you had open availability, there's no reason why they shouldn't schedule you long shifts. They must have really needed a new hire. I think I was just really lucky, I applied with open availability but I was hired in February when things are sort of slow so there wasn't too many hours to go around. Though it makes sense Starbucks would be busier year round. For Target, we usually slow down during the summer. Back to school and of course the fourth quarter are the busiest times of the year for us. But you should have been getting your breaks! What was the shortest shift you worked? You did get to take lunch breaks though, right? You had to if you were doing 6+ hours per shift.

I really wish we could work together! And I don't think anyone should feel bad about asking so many questions, it's how you learn! I really appreciate how much everyone helped me, I'm always happy to pass everything I learned onto others.

I barely even remember what kind of mistakes, it was mostly just dumb little things. Like once on my first shift alone without a trainer, I got a little confused about something and she seemed to think I didn't know how to do anything. And once on another one of my first shifts alone, she had come by and told me to start on shoes. You get different areas assigned to you, and that night I had shoes and RTW (short for "ready to wear" which is what the women's clothing department is called). I might have had accessories too, we used to divide it like that back then (it's a bit different now). It was just a little bit over an hour and she came back to check up on me and was like "You've spent over an hour in shoes." And I was just about finishing up there anyway, but...the way she said it made me feel incompetent, even though I think it was a reasonable amount of time for shoes... Another time she got a bit stern with me because I didn't clear a call button in time (we have 30 seconds) and I hadn't gone for it because it was for guest service (our returns/service desk) and I have no training for that. I didn't know I was allowed or expected to get it.

But now, she's even come to me for advice about softlines a few times, frequently compliments the clothes I wear to work, and is just generally great to work with, haha. I think I just made some bad first impressions, it's like she was the only one who happened to witness my dumb newbie moments. I hope she's forgotten them by now, haha. I'm glad I was able to gradually earn her favor! Que sera, sera always makes me think of this song! www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFLJX-… I love Katamari, it's been ages since I've played it.

Oh my gosh. What have guests done to irritate me... more like, what HAVEN'T they done. Just kidding. It's weird, some days I have the patience of a saint and I can just let everything slide. Other days, just the tiniest little thing just makes me furious. Mostly I'm good though. Somewhere in the middle, I guess. But let me tell you, my top three pet peeves are probably: 1. When people get in your lane when your light is off. IT'S OFF FOR A REASON. I am never scheduled cashier shifts, so when I go up, it's only for back up when it gets busy and the lines are getting long. So  when it starts dying down I turn the light off so I can finish up with the last guest before making my escape...then I turn around and someone has already unloaded half their cart. What makes it worse is when there's only one person in the other cashier's lane WHOSE LIGHT IS ON. WHY.

Number 2 would be SHOES. I hate, ABSOLUTELY HATE when women try on like 20 pairs of shoes and leave them ALL OVER the floor. Like one shoe is over here, the matching shoe is 10 feet away over here, the box is on the other side of the aisle, and who knows where the lid is. This is what makes shoes the most hated place to zone, not just for me, but nearly all of my coworkers too. How hard is it to just put two shoes back into the box? They can leave the box on the floor, I don't care about that. But for god's sake, please put the shoes in the box. If there is no box, just place the shoes somewhere together. I hate having to do a scavenger hunt through the aisles for matching shoes.

Number 3 is people who start bitching at me for being on hold. This seems like it happens the most with old people, especially around the holidays. I'll transfer the call to the right department, the call sits on hold for a bit until someone can answer it. If they don't get to it quick enough, the call rings back to the operator (me, sometimes). So I'll pick up and apologize for the wait and tell them the person in X department is currently helping another guest and will be with them as soon as they're done. And then that's when the old ladies just blow up on me going "THIS IS RIDICULOUS I'VE BEEN ON HOLD FOREVER I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT BLAH BLAH BLAH". A lot of times they haven't been on hold more than a minute. This is like HELL during the holidays when it's busy and there's multiple calls coming in at once AND you have to be checking people into the fitting room at the same time because the fitting room operator does exactly what it's title says, you run the fitting room and the phones. Normally it's not that bad though. And I'd much rather deal with guests like that over the phone than in person. Seasonal time is getting closer and closer, so I'll get to experience this again soon! Oh boy...I can't wait...

I don't really mind when people don't ask "How are you?" back at me. But I do like to hear a "Good, thanks", at least. And most people do say "Thanks" And/or "You too" when I tell them "Have a good day". But I do feel so touched when people are really nice and kind. Especially the people who are so happy when you help them find what they're looking for. I know I've just ranted about all the bad guests, but there have also been plenty of good ones too! Those kinds of stories are just less entertaining than guest horror stories, but it certainly warms my cold little retail heart.

I've always had my availability wide open since I applied! I've always wondered if that's one of the main reasons they hired me in the first place. So I didn't specifically say I wanted to work 40 hours, but on the application I put 40 for maximum and I don't remember what minimum was. 20 maybe?

 It took me days to write this, I wrote it in pieces on notepad whenever I had the time. FINALLY I CAN HIT 'SUBMIT'! It always takes me so much longer to write than I think it will. I miss being able to talk to you more frequently. I hope you've been feeling better!

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-09-18 05:39:08 +0000 UTC]

Oh boy.  Sorry for taking so long to get back to you.  I didn't realize it's been almost a month and I just happened to see the timestamp on this and was like...what...  I literally thought it's been like a week tops.  I've been in a weird mood lately.

Oooh, you're a trainer!!  I'm so proud of you.  I already was proud before, but now, I am even more proud, haha.  Really really hard work and then add in the mental strength factor.  You are truly strong.  That actually does make me feel better knowing you trained someone who never returned after the first day, haha.  What did your managers even say?  I WANTED to do that.  Like...just leave and never say anything again.  Confrontation is the worst, especially when I know it'll disappoint everyone or make them mad.  Especially after seeing her cuss out my trainer. OTL  I was like, "what's worse: suffering or gathering the nerve to quit?"  But I just.  Couldn't anymore.  SIGH.

HAHA.  The neighbors.  Oh my gosh, it's so funny because she's SOOO conscientious about everything else.  She was getting some trees trimmed on her own property and was asking us if we would mind or if we'd rather her do something else.  It  was like, "but it's your yard??"  And then she had some gardeners come out and he got the leaf blower and blew everything into our rocks, HAHA, and she was all like, "I'M SO SORRY!!  I didn't know he'd do that!!  I will talk with him immediately!"  And she apologizes for her music (which isn't even loud or a problem at all) and just...it's funny.  Because all those things wouldn't even bother us and then her sons smoke pot right outside our house...and THAT she doesn't mention, haha.  Well, we haven't either.  My mom was saying to me, "maybe I can go over there and casually mention 'do you smell people smoking pot!!  it's horrible!  wish they didn't do that!'"  I'm like MOM, OF COURSE SHE KNOWS WE KNOW ITS HER.  Haha.  Though I guess it might be better than just suffering in silence.  Oh man, you're lucky you have someone in your family who is good at confronting. No one in my family is at ALL.  Like, I am the most confrontational in the family, and I cry when I get mad.  HAHA.  The other day, I had to argue with our vet and I my vision literally started pulsing in and out.  Like.  Black, vision, black, vision.  I was like WHAT THe FUUuuuuCk STAY CALM WE'VE GOT TO WIN THIS.  Boy.  But we probably could report them, but we'd rather like....talk to her about it first since she SEeeemmmmmsss super niceeeeeee and we'd hate to sic the security on them and create bad blood from the beginning.  Maybe we can write her a note, haha.  "WE SEE YOUR BOY SMOKING POT IN OUR BUSHES.  PLEASE HAVE HIM SMOKE POT SOMEWHERE ELSE."  But they haven't been doing it every night for awhile.  Just like...once a week for a few minutes, so that's OKAY.  I GUESS.  

Anyway, the vet.  I don't think I mentioned this last time!  So my mom's dog is a dachshund and she has a really long body.  One day.  She was walking fine.  And then, bam.  Her back legs and tail weren't working AT ALL.  She was dragging them behind her like limp noodles.  So we brought her to the vet.  The lady there was super nice and said it's probably IVDD, where one of the discs in her back slipped out of place, and it cooould get better with conservative treatment, which would be steroids and painkillers, or we could spend $3500 on an MRI, see where the damage is, and then do a $9000-11000 surgery.  And my parents were like *CHOKE*  WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY.  And so we did the pill route.

So it seemed okay the first few days.  The vet said it could take up to two weeks to see any signs of improvement and a lot of dogs do recover 100%.  She wasn't moving her back legs, but she is kind of a lazy dog ANYWAY, and besides that, she was acting completely normal. But we were supposed to go back in anyway..I forget why...and the next vet we saw was someone else.  And she saw Chloe and said, "you need to put that dog down".  And my mom was stunned.  Because the other vet said two weeks and she could be fine.  But this vet was like, "She can't feel her back legs, so that means she's paralyzed and if she's paralyzed, the chances of her recovering are basically none.  And if that is the case, and you THINK you can handle a paralyzed dog, think AGAIN, 99.9% of the population don't have what it TAKES to care for a paralyzed dog."  And my mom was in tears.  And like, "b-b-but the other vet said...two weeks..."  And this vet was like, "the chart says she wasn't as bad as she is now."  It just seemed so wrong because Chloe was still acting just fine.  Anyway.  My mom was crying and saying, "we want to keep trying.  I can't just give up on her."  And the lady was like, "There's no point.  Her legs are useless.  You need to put her down.  I've seen countless cases like this, and you NEEd to put her DOWN."  And that was when I had to literally cut her off mid-sentence and say, "WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT.  WE ARE GOING TO KEEP TRYING THE STEROIDS".  And my vision started pulsing.  HAHA.  *sobs*  But she backed off after that LUCKILY (probably because I looked like I was going to pass out from having to speak aloud) but my mom was still upset.  Stupid lady.  And Chloe's condition hadn't worsened at that point from the first vet, so it just sort of stunned us both how they could have such radically different positions.  The first vet was even saying, even if worst case scenario and Chloe could never walk again, she's seen many dogs live happy full lives in wheel chairs.  And then this other vet: KILL!!  Blew my mind.  Anyway, after that, it actually got worse.  She started developing this huge bulge on her side.  Squishy soft bulge.  And it kept getting bigger and bigger.  So my mom had to go back to the vet.  Like a day later.  They did an ultrasound and found Chloe wasn't peeing enough.  Her bladder was the size of an APPLE.  Normally, they can express a dog by finding her bladder and squeezing, but Chloe is so thick and tense with MUSCLE that they couldn't get through her hard stomach to find her bladder.  So they had to put a catheter in, but you can't keep it in a female dog for longer than three days because UTIs.  SO.  After the three day period, we had to keep going in everyday for them to drain it temporarily with a catheter.  And then, we were REALLY worried.  Because paralyzed legs is one thing, but NO PEEING??  We couldn't keep driving to the vet every day (that's a twenty minute drive and $40 visit and it suuuuucked) but it was so weird because she still acted normal it just...no pee power or legs.  So sad.  Anyway.  ANYWAY.  After a few days, she started peeing a bit more on her own.  And then more.  AND THEN MORE!  And now she pees normally.  My mom just has to hold her back legs up with a scarf so she can run around to find her PERFECT PEE SPOT.  The vet actually had someone donate a wheelchair and it just HAPPENED to fit Chloe and so they gave it to us for free!  Those suckers are hundreds of dollars online!  So we were so grateful for that.  She speeds around like a mad dog and rolls over all our toes, haha.  But she's so happy.  And her toes are starting to move and her tail is beginning to wag and she's squatting now!  So she's getting better!!!  WOOHOOOOO.  But the peeing thing was huge.  Anyway.  That is my story.  About how some vets suck.  Like....if we had LISTENED to that vet and given up on her then we would have no more Chloe.  But look at her now!  She is chasing ball happily in her little wheelchair and just as happy as always.  It's crazy.  I am just very glad that's over with.  She's not even that old; she's seven.  So it was a nasty shock, but all is back to OK!  

I guess Starbucks is the slowest in summer!  It was so slow that they were losing money almost everyday, which is crazy to me.  It doesn't SEEM that empty, but I guess they really depend on the school year to keep them going.  And then the busiest days are the first day of school (WHICH I SUFFERED THROUGH) and Christmas.  I thought that was interesting.  I did like getting to know the SCOOP!  Haha.  They even have these cool little things in the drivethrough.  Like.  Computer screens that are keeping track of how many cars are there and how many minutes they've been there.  If they've been there for over....2 minutes I think it was....the little car icons turn RED and it gets sent to the ABOVE!  And they can get in trouble.  It kind of reminded me of a video game.  You see the cars start building up and they go from green to orange to red and you're like OH NO.  Haha.  The shortest shift I worked was 4 hours and 45 minutes, but I didn't get a break.  I even asked because I'm pretty sure I was supposed to get ONE five minute break, but they were like, "no, you need to work on this now" and I was like...okay.  But it was like...running around constantly for nearly five hours nearly killed me when all I've been used to is sitting, haha.  The longer days I would get a half hour lunch break, but I guess it doesn't count for being paid.  I dunno if that's normal.  The machine place I worked at DID, but I am starting to think maybe it was just because they were ridiculously nice and now I'm lost in the REAL WORLD.

Oh no!!  I wish we could keep our trainers around for longer, haha.  I hate making mistakes at ALL, but when they set you free like a little bird it's like...YOU NEED to make mistakes to get it, but that kills me.  Ugh.  No mistakes.  OR DEATH.  I'm glad you are in a good comfortable area at work now though!  And that she's now friendly and nice.  Hehe, this Katamari song is very nice.  It kind of reminds me of the other Que sera, Que sera song!  I remember my ex used to love this game.  Wait, this is the one where you roll a ball around and it gets bigger, right?  Is that all?  I remember being like, "what the heCK" as he was like, "BUT ITS GOOD" but I don't think I ever tried it myself.  It was so popular though!

Haha, my cousin used to work at JC Pennys and everything KILLED HIM. He was mad 100% of the time at everyone and everything.  I guess retail really requires a patient soul.  I remember during Black Friday he was so pissed off because everyone just chucked clothes all over the place like they were savages.  Oh man, I bet you see that a lot at Target too, huh?  I feel like you have a very patient spirit.  Some people are just WEIRD.  I remember going to Target with my friend's mom once, and she was really nice usually, but sometimes she just had a nasty temper.  But there were several lines and they were all long, and she asked my friend's sister which one she thought was best, so she chose one.  I mean, they were all long.  What're you going to do?  And it happened that the line her daughter chose was the slowest, haha, and instead of being like, "oh, shoot, we chose a bad one" and letting it go, she BLEW UP and started SCREAMING at the daughter, who was like ELEVEN.  For choosing a slow line when she had NO WAY of knowing how fast it'd move and what does it MATTER?  Everyone was looking at her.  I still am like.  Stunned.  To this day.  I actually went with her to Disney once and I forget what happened...but it was super duper hot and my friend didn't want to go on a ride she wanted to go on and everyone was grumpy.  And my friend wouldn't move from her spot and the mom was like, "You get your Butt OVer ehrer NOWWWW or we are GOING HOME IMMEDIATELY"  And they were like..............maybe ten meters away, a large crowd going through like they DO at Disney and her mom is just SCREAMING on the top of her lungs.  I can't even explain the screaming levels.  It was insane.  On tops of her lungs.  And everyone was gasping and looking between us.  And she was like, "GET OVER HERE NOOOOWWWWWWWWW NOW NWO WNOWNOW"  And my friend was like, "NO!!!  MAKE ME!!!'  And I was so horrified and didn't know what to do.  And then the mom just LEAVES.  And we're alone.  In Disneyland.  And my friend and her sister start sobbing.  And I'm like.  :-|  (That is my shocked and horrified face.)  And a few days later, as we were driving around Hollywood, we went to another hotel and I guess the dad, who was supposed to be there but couldn't, needed to be there in person to secure the hotel room.  Which is ridiculous.  There was another family there, an entire family, like fifteen people, who had made the same mistake somehow??  And the lived in like...Sweden so they couldn't just GO HOME, they literally had nowhere else to stay.  And were crying.  But the hotel people stayed firm on their "no more rooms".  And my friend's mom starts in on her yelling at them.  And they were like, "we have no more rooms, we're all full!  So sorry!"  And she sits in their lobby and starts yelling out loud and trash talking them and making a scene.  And the manager runs out and is like, "oooh, maam, so sorry, we'll give you a suite for FREE!!!"  And so we stayed in a huge nice room for free instead.  Does that even make sense??  Like.  It was crazy to me that behaving that way can get you what you want, but it literally did in that case.  I guess she used to be a lawyer before she had kids.  So she's just.  Loud.  And fights.  At every little stop.  BUT ANYWAY, short story long, just....interesting people out there.  Making huge fusses for nothing.  And these were just the few times I was with her.  Like...I didn't even hang out with them that much and I have all these stories, haha.  She was probably the lady unloading her cart when she saw your light at the register was off, haha.  Oy.  Did you have to check that person out anyway, or could you be like, "sorry, ma'am, I'm closed!"  And run off?  Haha.  I've seen that happen at Walmart before, but I feel like Target is a bit more accommodating.

People actually leave shoes everywhere???  Dang!  That's really rude.  Why even do that...?  I guess it's just like my friend's mom.  They're just ...so different in their mind set they probably don't even think about it.  That's nuts.  Sometimes I just feel...so sick of people.  And I'm not even the one having to deal with it.  I'm sorry! D:  I wish I could help you! A ghost over your shoulder sweeping shoes back in place for you, haha.  Okay, maybe not a ghost.  A FRIENDLY GHOST.

HAHA.  I found (on my minimal few days on the floor) that the worst people were the old ladies too.  What the heck!  I always thought they were supposed to be the sweet kind old grandma types.  But no.  Wow, the fitting room operator sounds really overwhelming.  They need two people for that, especially during the holidays.  Hang in there, Robot!!  

Hm...anything interesting happen to me lately that would be worthy of a story...?  Not really.  I've just been grumpy and irritated, haha.  I think hormonally I'm still trying to balance out the stress from Starbucks.  Which sounds ridiculous, but like...I'm no longer sick to my stomach, buuuut I've just been like...I dunno.  Grumpy and mad.  At everything.  And kind of down.  And then my period, which is usually never late (if anything, it's early) was late by an entire WEEK this time and worse than ever before.  It's interesting.  I haven't been able to write at all lately too, which is WEIRD.  It's almost been two months.  very unlike me.  When I do write, it's worse quality than usual.  So really bad.  I can't even read it when I go back over it.  I just delete it all out.  But!  I get to the go to the doctor this week.  I'm really nervous, but hopefully we can like...do bloodwork and see if I have any imbalances or deficiencies that can be fixed.  I do know I have hypothroidism and thalassemia which are definitely two things that need to be addressed btu Ehghhghhhhhh.  MONEY.  MONEY MONEY MONEY.  And even if I do get some sort of medication, I'm always worried to use it.  I remember my dad had problems with his heart at one point and they gave him medication to help it and it made it THREE TIMES WORSE and had thought he was going to DIE and had to go to the emergency room.  SO.  Now I'm like.  RYEHHHHGGH.  

Anyway, BOY, I am tired.  My poor grandma's twin just died yesterday.  Twin.  They talked to each other everyday since they were BORN.  FOR EIGHTY YEARS.  And my grandma's husband died the other year and she says all her friends from high school are dead and she's like, "when i die" this and "when i'm gone" that.  And she keeps trying to give me stuff because she's like, "I'll be gone soon!"  ANd I'm like GRAndma.  And all like, "winter is coming...another year gone...i wonder if i'll see next year.  " GRAndmaAA.  And then she went to the doctor awhile back and they did an...xray?  MRI?  And she got to see her skull.  And she said to me, very quiet, very serious, "That's what I'll look like soon".  I never know what to say to that!!!!!  I know it is truly upsetting her.  And we're pretty close, so it's kind of upsetting because I'm not really close to anyone else in my family.  So when people die, like...I know the right reaction is to be sad, but I never really KNEW them and bonded, so I can't really say anyone close to me has died and know what it's like.  But I know it'll be different with my grandma and I'm already like...ugh.  Dreading it.  Shes always the one I talk to when we go to parties and stuff.  I seek her out.  WHAT'LL I DO WHEN SHE'S NO LONGER THERE?  Anyway, I worry...  It seems sort of like she's just waiting for death now, you know?  Every single time I talk to her, she mentions it.  But anyway, we went over to her house yesterday for a few hours and then she came over here for a few hours today, and while I really like my grandma and we get along well, it's still really tiring being as introverted as I am.  Draining.  I feel like I'm entertaining for a few hours always on edge because I don't want to say something stupid and hurt her more.  So just.  Exhausted.  And restless.

OKAY!!  Anyway.  Played anything interesting lately?  It's funny, have you seen that FFXV crossover with Assassin's Creed? It's free!!!  I love free things even if it is so CRINGE-Y!  It's actually not as bad as I thought it'd be hehe.  And I assumed it'd be absolutely awful.  I still wish they'd focus their efforts on completing and fleshing out the story, but I can appreciate a good in-game cosplay event too.    Hm.  That's all I've played after P5.  I think it ends at the end of this month so I've been meaning to play it more, but I swear there was like a two week time skip earlier this month for me.  Where the heccck did time go....?  

Hm.  That's all I've played.  I've been obsessed with Voltron lately (AHAHA, ACTUALLY I JUUUUST realized the time skip was my Voltron obsession days.  OH!  Oh.)  and so...that's been that.  I've been trying to keep up with yoga lately, but I've been inexplicably exhausted.  So exhausted and like...my body feels like it HURTS all the TIME.  If I move it's just like...rughghahahrrghhh irritation all over forcing it through sludge.  I don't know.  Okay.  I am trying to stop complaining about things to you, but I keep going back to it!  I'm so sorry!!  OKAY!  Back to Voltron!  So I've never seen a fandom so dedicated, it's kind of funny.  A lot of people host these EVENTS, like the latest, "sheith big bang 2017" where a TON of artists and fan fic writers got together and worked for MOONTTHS individually and each day, one person posts a full length sheith fan fic.  And by full length, I mean some are 50,000 words or more.  THAT'S HUGE.  For fan fic!  For everyday!  And now there's other character ones and general ones but like...wowowowiieeee so many events!  I just signed up for a secret santa one, which I've never done before!  I guess last year they had almost 600 people sign up!  What the HECk.  I didn't even know this fandom was that big....  

Anyway, I've had a fanfic opened this whole time I've been writing this.  And a Zelda playlist "1 hour of relaxing Zelda: Breath of the Wild music".  It really is a nice soundtrack.  It's at 40 minutes now.  Wow, I've really rambled.  Haha!  I also think it'll be a quick reply and then ...40 minutes later.  I am excited to read the next fic.  It came out today as part of that event.  They're like little gifts everyday. I've been following them since August, so that is LITERALLY where that time skip happened.  I can't believe I've been reading them that deeply to not even notice.  That kind of freaks me out.  Such talented writers though!!!  I'm so jealous!

Oh!  Speaking of talented writers!  I found this app called COURSERA!  It's actually a site too.  I use the site.  I don't know why I said app.  But anyway, I guess people CAN use it to take courses and get certificates and stuff, but they have to pay for that.  BUT YOU CAN ALSO take classes and audit them without having to put in any info besides just a login.  And YOU CAN FULLY TAKE THE CLASSES.  Some are by teachers from Stanford or Harvard or CALARTS.  Oh man.  I am so excited about this.  I am taking a creative writing one from a teacher who ACTUALLY has books published and selling on Amazon that have doing well.  WELL.  Not just some random teacher!  And it's a really good class!  Like, obviously not as good as going to his class on a campus, but for FREE?  DAng.  I've paid for a creative writing class and it sucked, but this one I've already learned more things than I can keep track of!  I am taking notes and bolding a lot.  Good stuff.  There's also a graphics design class from Calarts that I'm going to take when it starts...tomorrow.  They're like a month long each I think.  BUt free knowledge!  woooooooooooooo.

Okay.  Now I'm done for real becauuuseee I want to go eat a snack and need to hunt for it, haha.  I got my period and it was so dreadful I was shaking so badly I couldn't hold my ipad for awhile.  And now I feel like...weak and sick.  And I can't tell if it's because I need food or just rest, but I figure food's a good start.

Anyway.  I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!  It's finally cooling down here!  Last week it was in the 100s and now it's in the 60s right now, haha.  So my body is like..ruruahahg HELP.  

Oh!  My family is going to Arizona this weekend!  I don't think I am.  But for my grandma's sister's maybe-funeral.  She lived there and they are not sure if there's going to be a ceremony or what, but I was like OOOOOOOOOOOOH.  Robot.  But yeah, my doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for months is this weekend annnnndddddd WHO WOULD WATCH MY DOGGOS.  BUT YEAH.  FEEL MY FAMILY'S SPIRIT.  Not the ghost kind.  THE AURA KIND.  

Bye now.  Be well!

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2017-12-11 00:49:39 +0000 UTC]

No, I'm the one who needs to apologize, I think this sets my record for longest time to reply ever, haha. I can't believe I put replying to this one off for so long! So let me fill you in on that long time gap. September wasn't a very good month for me. It's pretty common for me to get depressed in the week before my period, but for some reason it was 10 times worse than usual in September. Possibly the worst it's ever been. I was miserable. And it didn't help that there were coincidentally so many rude customers that week. And I thought maybe it was just me being more irritable than usual, but even one of my coworkers commented on how rude and needy people were being lately. Surprisingly it hasn't been that bad recently, even though it's been busier with Christmas coming up. But yeah...if I had replied to this comment in September, it would have been full of complaining, about everything. But I'm good now, so you're spared from my whining.

During October, I was spending most of my free time trying to get art done! I'm glad I was able to finish everything on time. I barely remember what November was like for me. I just work all the time and it makes all the days just blend together. Did you go shopping on Black Friday? I didn't, but I did get a couple of good deals online for Cyber Monday. I finally got a 2DS! I didn't get any games for it yet, but I bought my brother Fire Emblem Awakening for Christmas so I'll be borrowing that later, haha.

Last week, I was sick but I still went to work. I ended up going home three hours early on one day because I was feeling too awful. But I'm finally almost fully recovered by now. These next couple of weeks are probably going to be such a pain. I'm ready for Christmas to just be over and done with. I'm not really stressed like I was around this time last year though. I'm tired 90% the time, but not stressed. So at least that's something!

Haha there was actually another newbie a couple of months ago who did one day of training and then never came back. I know it's a hard thing to do, but it is so much better to just call in and say that you won't be coming in again. Because the schedules are made in advance, and if one person doesn't show up it means the rest of the team is spread more thinly across all the tasks that need to be done that day. At least if they call in, management knows ahead of time so they can try to call someone else in to fill the gap or plan ahead to redistribute tasks. So you should feel good that you were able to gather the strength to quit openly like that, instead of just quietly slipping off! I know I would have appreciated that.

Ah man, I know its been such a long time, so maybe things have changed, but how have things been with your neighbors? It's good that she's so nice about everything else...I wonder if it's because she feels bad about the pot and/or is afraid you'll bring it up. I hate my sort-of-new neighbors because they have a bunch of kids that are always outside playing and screaming early in the morning and late in the evening. A lot of times I'm at work before they're out in the morning, but on the days I want to sleep in I can hear them and it pisses me off. Even when I don't sleep in, I still don't want to hear them...like, it's my day off and I want to spend it in peace and quiet for once. I hear enough kids screaming at work.

Ooh my gosh, your mom's dog! I'm so sorry you all had to go through that. I have the softest heart for animals, so just reading about this crushed me. I seriously teared up a little. I hope she's still in good health and continues to be! It's good that you didn't give up and got another opinion, you saved a life that way. ;_;

Your story about your friend's mom... I HATE it when people do that, and I hate it even more when managers REWARD people for throwing a tantrum like a toddler. It just teaches them that they can get what they want by making a scene and then they think they can pull it off at any store. I'll do what I can within reason for people who are nice and polite, but if people are rude and entitled and demanding, it just makes me want to not help them out at all. Haha, and about the old ladies, it seems like they are the extreme at both ends. The nicest, kindest, sweetest customers tend to be old ladies, but the worst, rudest, meanest are ALSO old ladies.

I'm sorry to bring this back up if it's something you've already dealt with and moved on from, since it has been a while. But I hope you and your grandma are doing well. I'm not close to anyone outside in my family besides my parents and brother, so I can't say I know what it's like to experience the death of a loved one either. I do think it's important to talk about death openly though instead of shoving it away, since it will happen to everyone eventually. I know it's a difficult thing for both of you to face. But maybe a good, heartfelt open talk about these things would be good for both of you. And again, if you ever need a third party to talk to, I'm always listening! I can't promise to reply more promptly, but I'll certainly try to. And if it comforts you just to know someone is listening, I always read comments much sooner than I reply!

I've been playing Tales of Berseria for the longest time! It seems like a pretty long game, but I'm finally reaching the last parts. I'm impressed with how good it is, even based off of Zestiria's messy story. It's genuinely a great game all around. I haven't seen the FFXV crossover at all, but I did happen to see footage of the cup noodle hat and that got a good laugh out of me. I can only play one game at a time though, and it takes me forever to finish one game now. I might start playing the new Dangan Ronpa game when I finish Berseria. I never had interest in it before but I was watching my brother play for a little bit, and he was explaining it to me and it sounded interesting and fun. I think there was something else I was planning on playing but I can't remember what it is!

Haha, at least your time skip was filled with fun things! When I loose track of time like that it's just because of work and my free time just seems to fly by no matter what I'm doing. I seriously just sit in my chair and blank out for a little bit sometimes, doing literally nothing seems like such a luxury and I enjoy it. I'm never into fandoms that are that big, so having so much content to go through seems so foreign to me! Its so nice when fans get together to do things like that. Secret santas are pretty fun! I've joined a few in the past. I kind of wanted to join one this year and last, but I never did just because I don't think I'd have the time for it. Or more like, I'd rather spend that time for myself and not on art.

Oh that Coursera site sounds so cool. I'm so interested but I feel like there's no way I'll have the discipline to keep up with it. I definitely want to try it sometime though! I bookmarked it for later. Hopefully once the holidays are over! I think I've said that about so much stuff now, haha. I'm glad you've learned from the writing class! Alright, I'm finally going to submit this reply! I hope you've been well, take care!

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SkyAboveUs In reply to robotfish [2017-12-29 05:09:34 +0000 UTC]

Hi!!  So I sent you a Christmas card but it bounced back!! OOOH NOOOO.  Says the wrong address now.  ;__;  So.  I'm sorry I didn't say Merry Christmas.  I thought the card had made it.  It took a surprising amount of time to get back to me actually!!  I sent it like......EARLY.  I was good this year!  And I just got it back today.  So weird.  Anyway, yeah.  I hope you had a really good Christmas and work is treating you nicely and everything.  

Did you get anything fun for Christmas?  I got Nier Automata!  I think I already told you that, haha, but I opened it this time.  It's...so hard....  HAHA.  I played for a half hour, but then DIED and apparently, it wasn't autosaving or I hadn't made it to the first checkpoint yet or I DON'T KNOW but then it booted me to the beginning again and I didn't want to play the same entire half hour over again so I just...took a break.  I've been playing Horizon Zero Dawn instead which is pretty good!!  It's like...a weird caveman/futuristic robot Skyrim, haha.  It's cool.  I just wish it were actually Skyrim with those graphics.  I really love the dang graphics and the controls.  They're very smooth.  But the story so far is like....eh to me.  It's alright.  I don't hate it, but I don't find myself dying to find out what happens next.  Oh well.

Speaking of video games, have you seen the new FFXV's Episode Ignis?  I didn't buy Gladio's or Prompto's yet but I did get Iggy's and wow.  I love it so much.  I won't say anything if you haven't seen it though.  

Haha, aww, I wouldn't have minded whining about work!  I'm here to listen!!!  But I'm really sorry September was a hard month for you.  I go through my phases too and it sucks.  You know something interesting?  I'd been taking regular vitamin D pills religiously, yeah?  Well, I got my blood taken and my vitamin D levels were STILL super low.  So instead of the normal 2,000 IUs a day, she gave me 50,000 IUs per week.  WHICH IS A HUGE AMOUNT obviously, but I guess this is like...to build the levels up initially and then when my levels are where they're supposed to be then I can go back to the 2,000 IUs a day.  And you know what's weird..?  My mood has been really good lately.  Like...abnormally good and I'm wondering if it has to do with the vitamin D.  Another thing she mentioned was that my RBC and hemoglobin levels are really low when I get depressed, and my WBC level gets high, like I'm fighting an infection or something?  But then, when I feel better, the RBC and hemoglobin levels go higher and then WBC levels go lower.  I guess it could be a coincidence, but it seems WEIRD that they correlate.  But it's bad news for me because now she wants me to get blood tests every 3 months to keep track and make sure I don't get too anemic.  WHAT FUN!  But anyway, maybe it'd be worth it to get a blood test sometime?  Maybe you will find something interesting.  I hope that doesn't happen to you again in any case!  ;__;

You know, I did go Black Friday shopping sort of, but there wasn't anything in stores I couldn't have gotten online.  I feel like I might've already told you this in a different comment but I can't remember.  But at Best Buy, I got those video games, haha, but I literally could've just ordered them online a day before and it would've been easier.  They didn't even have the prices pinned up at the Best Buy store!  It was so weird.  Oooh, Fire Emblem Awakening!  I hope you guys like it.  I know my sis did.  She got the Nintendo Switch Fire Emblem game...uh....Warriors?  I dunno, but the graphics look terrible.  I'm guessing it's not the same team like...at all, haha.  

Oooh, we've been keeping our windows closed lately so we can't smell any pot, haha.  It's just in the summer it gets so hot we can't possibly keep them closed all the time.  But they are fine this way.  Did I tell you that, for awhile there, they were having groups of almost 20 kids walking through our yard to get to their house??  Like...WHY?  They weren't even going around, they'd cut right through for no reason at all and just swarm like a river through our cars and front yard.  It'd make our dogs go crazy.  My dad had to go out there several times and ask them to STOP but they WOULDN'T, so our other neighbor, who also was getting them going through, called security on them and said NUH-UH.  Funny story, though....the new neighbor just got a new job...at the security office, HAHA.  So if we ever call to complain about them...we will be telling her, HAHA.  Oh man, that kills me.  But I mean, she seems sweet so I think if we just talk to her it'll be fine.  

GAH.  Sorry to hear about the screaming kids each morning!!  That sucks.  I'd hate that.  I know our neighbors all like to use their leaf blowers at 7:30 in the morning and I'm like WHHHYYYY.  THE LEAVES WILL STILL BE THERE REGARDLESS OF WHERE YOU BLOW THEM.  

Oh, my mom's dog is doing very well now.  She sort of has a weird hunch back...it looks like she's trying to compensate for weaker muscles or something, but she's walking and (against our wishes) running just fine.  She can even squat to go potty, so all good things!!  She also seems to be really happy now.  Like...before all this, she was so indifferent and only wanted her mommy, but now she is always wagging her tail at me and trying to give me kisses.  She's like a new dog.  It's funny how much they do understand even though we think they don't.  Like...I can't think of any other reason why she'd suddenly like me so much more other than she's trying to be like, "I appreciate you trying to help!  Thanks!"  Because she doesn't do that to anyone else now.  So sudden.  It's sweet.

Oooh, my grandma is doing alright.  She just got heart surgery and they replaced her valve with a cow valve!  She is supposed to be feeling better, but she's exhausted all the time, it's hard to watch.  She has another surgery where they have to put a net over her aorta and she's reaallllyy not looking forward to that.  I feel so bad for her.  She's so brave.  I had to go get an ultrasound the other day and ended up crying during it, haha.  OKAY.  It was SO PAINFUL that she had to stop and couldn't even do it.  But I still felt so stupid because DANG my grandma is getting her valve replaced and she's fine.  And my cousin just went through all that cancer surgery.  DOCTORS ARE SCARY.  AGHHH.

Anyway, I need to go make tea for myself like stat, haha.  I've been eating soooo many holiday cookies.  We so overbaked and I just...keep eating...  I feel siiiccck, but the cookies call my nameeee.  TOMORROW, I WILL BE GOOD!!

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robotfish In reply to SkyAboveUs [2018-01-02 23:17:39 +0000 UTC]

Happy New Year! Did you do anything for New Years? I never do. I hope you had a good Christmas too! Aww, I'm so sad the Christmas card bounced back, but thanks so much for sending it anyway, the thought alone makes me really happy. I bought my own gifts for myself this Christmas, I've been buying stuff on and off since Black Friday until now... It's because I see everything on sale and clearance, and I can't help myself. I bought myself a bunch of clothes, a 2DS, nail polish, a wallet, and a figure that I preordered a long time ago finally shipped out a few days ago.

I haven't bought any games yet but there's a bunch I plan on getting eventually. My brother got the last Blazblue game so we've been going through the story mode on that. I'm kind of scared to see how it ends, haha. I still have Berseria to finish too! Some people have had a lot of trouble with the prologue part in Nier Automata. I made it through without any problems, my first death was actually from unequipping an item that they straight out tell you not to unequip or you'll die. Of course I just HAD to test it out so I saved and then unequipped it, and sure enough, I died, haha. I appreciate the attention to detail. I haven't touched FFXV since I first saw the ending. I hate having to keep up with dlc like that! I've already forgotten a lot about the game and feel strange just jumping back into it like that. Iggy was my favorite though, I really want to play his episode sometime.

I never see the sun so I probably do have a vitamin D deficiency. But I've been in a better mood lately now that the holidays are over and things are finally starting to slow down a little at work. I thought I was going to end up grinding my teeth into dust from all the stress building up. It was easier to get through than last year though. I'm just tired of being around people. I'm really glad things have been better for you too! Pretty sure my mom has some vitamin D pills in the pantry, guess I'll start helping myself to those and see if it makes a difference.

It's so cute that your mom's dog is more affectionate towards you now! And she sounds so much more happy and healthy now. I'm glad she had such a good recovery! And same to your grandma, sounds like she's going through a lot, but even though doctors ARE scary, it's only to help our health! I hope her surgery goes well. I'm wishing the best for you and your family!

We didn't do much holiday baking this year, but I've been eating a lot of chocolate instead. Speaking of eating, I'm hungry! Had an early lunch so I'm going to go get something to eat now.

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robotfish In reply to the-kid36 [2016-11-01 03:44:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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robotfish In reply to Jigoku-Tsuki [2016-11-01 03:44:08 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thank you so much!

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Jigoku-Tsuki In reply to robotfish [2016-11-01 16:32:26 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome dear.

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robotfish In reply to Debjoy01 [2016-11-01 03:43:38 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much!

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