Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ThroughHerEyez [2013-03-16 17:49:58 +0000 UTC]

Hey! I'm doing wonderful! Had a couple little set backs, but I beat those. How are you??

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ThroughHerEyez In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2013-03-16 17:52:21 +0000 UTC]

Awesome.
I've been pretty depressed, but I'm doing fine disordered wise, so that's a plus I guess. Haha.

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ThroughHerEyez [2013-03-17 18:48:12 +0000 UTC]

Hang in there! It gets easier, I promise.

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to GlamorousNecrophilia [2012-07-02 16:46:32 +0000 UTC]

Not a problem at all! I'm so glad you're doing better, that's so great and really inspirational.

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ThroughHerEyez [2012-06-05 02:26:42 +0000 UTC]

Hey sweetie. <3
I'm doing well! Had a few slips, but I'm making myself get back on track. In fact, it was my birthday on Saturday and I had a pie for my dessert that I haven't had in YEARS. <3 Yummy!
How's my babygirl doing?

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ThroughHerEyez In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-06-05 13:03:54 +0000 UTC]

GOOD. I'm proud of you! slips are OK, they are inevitable, after all. I hope you enjoyed that pie to the fullest extent! <3
I'm doing fine, put on 3 more pounds! and for once I'm alright with that. (Most of it is muscle, anyway-- I've really gotten into fitness). Also, now when I exercise, it's not to burn off calories and get rid of anxiety; it's because I enjoy doing it and having the energy to do it! Still got a ways to go, but I see some improvement. <3

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ThroughHerEyez [2012-06-07 22:20:31 +0000 UTC]

ATTA GIRL!!!!! Great job, that's absolutely amazing!!
I did fully enjoy that pie. Yummmmmm.
That's great that you're doing so well! I'm so proud!!

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ThroughHerEyez In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-06-08 01:21:20 +0000 UTC]

AWE thanks! That means a lot. ^_^
I'm glad you did! you deserve it, and all the pie in the world, hehe. <3

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ekkiart [2012-05-22 01:39:12 +0000 UTC]

Oh sweetie <3
Thank you so much. <3 I'm confident that we will both get through. I know our efforts will pay off in the end.

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ekkiart In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-05-22 03:33:09 +0000 UTC]

absolutely!! and don't mention it you deserve all the praise in the world your so strong

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to EmmziPopzXECSTACY [2012-04-29 19:32:45 +0000 UTC]

Awww, thank you! No problem for the fave.

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to AshQuee [2012-04-01 22:19:09 +0000 UTC]

HOLY CRAP I'M BEING STAAAAAAAALLLLLKKKKKEEEEDDDDDD!!! D:
haha, hey Ash!

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AshQuee In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-04-01 22:22:14 +0000 UTC]

Hey Hey!

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to AshQuee [2012-04-01 22:30:40 +0000 UTC]

I SEEEEEEEEE YOU!

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ThroughHerEyez [2012-03-10 19:48:03 +0000 UTC]

Hey sweetie! I'm doing great. I've been having previously phobic foods, and I haven't purged all year! I'm back in gym at school, and having that constant activity that isn't obsessive has been really helpful.
How are you doing? I hope you're fantastic.

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ThroughHerEyez In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-03-10 21:19:46 +0000 UTC]

That's awesome! Good for you!
I'm doing okay. Kind of in a funk right now. I had a tiny piece of cake (felt pressured at a friend's house) and most likely overreacted and worked my ass off, after just getting back from a hike already. :/ Also super depressed/moody. However, I'm slowly being able to accept a decent weight, even though it's on the low end of healthy. Slowly...

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ThroughHerEyez [2012-03-10 23:24:20 +0000 UTC]

Excellent!
Don't worry, these things take time and practice. It's so great that you were able to have a piece of cake, no matter how small. That s a very big accomplishment, and I'm so proud of you!
You just have to continue to expose yourself to these foods and situations. It may not be the most fun thing, but it is the best thing you can do for yourself. Don't worry, as you get to a healthier weight, your mood stabilizes and becomes much better. It doesn't stay like this forever.

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ThroughHerEyez In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-03-11 01:12:37 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the reminder, I needed that.

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to ThroughHerEyez [2012-03-11 20:01:51 +0000 UTC]

Anytime, love. Feel free to talk. <3

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to Waurie [2012-01-25 00:31:36 +0000 UTC]

No, that and diet pills I've never taken. Of course, if I could have, I would've. I live just outside of a city, so there's no busses near me that I can grab to the drugstore, and I'm too young for a car. And there's no way my friends or family would've taken me. I consider myself lucky I never got into that. It would just make the already grueling process of recovery even harder.

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Waurie In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-01-25 02:32:56 +0000 UTC]

uh i know what you mean, it would probably have changed you for the ultimate worse, my sister took hydroxie cut i dunno how to spell it and her personality was like when she was on other drugs, really sad so atleast i know this may sound perverse but atleast your natural and even though its a mental and probably physical right?problem because your body may not even be adjusted to normal proportions is that also right? for food i meant on the last one, anyway my point is that you still have your personality regardless as long as ur not so underweight your sleeping in the hostpital atm ugh im so blunt, anyway i think ur wise and strong and one's weakness could also be a strength because it seemed on your post that you just want to find a balance that you can work with, please enlighten whatever i judge you on that could be possiblely blown way outta of line, i never got down past atleast 108 so i have no clue exaxtly what mind state or what it feels like physically to be too underweight, know what im sayin so i also relied and still do on diet pills but i asure you that theyre natural non of that meth injected stuff anyway im sorry i don't have outside people i can find stuff out like this about and you seem pretty wise and courageous so thats why im looking to you

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to Waurie [2012-01-26 01:30:15 +0000 UTC]

Oh yeah. I know about that hydroxie cut stuff. Nasty stuff, that is. (Haha, I sound like Yoda. May the force be with you.)
Yeah, the personality changes REALLY start when you're severly underweight. When you're starved your body goes into a state nearly identical to clinical depression. This is why my doctors waited until I was renurished to diagnose me with depression and get me on meds. I got down to 90 before they hospitalized me, and I was a completely different person. I'd missed the last week and a half of school, which is so unlike me. My friends were e-mailing me, but I never responded. I still can't believe that they came to see me every night while I was in there after I'd been completely icy and reserved the past nine months. Now that I'm back at a healthy weight, I'm pretty much back to my bubbly personality, although when I have to eat it definitely goes down.
You're right, what I'm looking for is that perfect balance between... well, I don't know really. Life in general, I guess. I've never been good at that... I'm a very 'all or nothing' person.
I'm glad you're talking to me. I love both educating and helping people with this disease as much as I can while still coping with it. If you or your sister would ever like support (Towards recovery) I would be thrilled to help you!
May the force be with you.

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Waurie In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-01-26 05:32:29 +0000 UTC]

wow thanks so much, keep being brave you really rock, on the bright side though, I hate to say this myself but I kinda of see it, okay so you probably worried a whole bunch of loved ones right? but in your personal journey of anorexia, that's a lot of discipline and you know how some monks would deprive themselves even if that wasn't the link to nirvana or whatever, I still think that the feelings physically associated with being so malnourished would it be? well I fell like that whether or not you were concious of this feeling I think it takes you to different levels of chakras I guess you could say that not all people could achieve, i know what I'm trying to say isn't clear and I may even be misunderstood but somewhere in there I think that you release yourself for a while and are lifted but then again I don't know if lifted would be what I'm talking about, o'well your'e a really sweet girl and I'm so glad that you know that Happy days~

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to Waurie [2012-01-29 02:09:37 +0000 UTC]

Awww, thanks sweetie.
Yeah, knowing the stories -well, not stories- of how monks and saints would deprive themselves definitely makes recovery harder, especially since I'm deeply Christian. But I have to keep telling myself that God never asked me to do this, he doesn't want me to do this, and by doing this I continue to lie and go against the teachings of His word.
I think you're right about the chakra thing. It definitely takes you to a different... plane, I guess you could say. It's just one that I have no intention of EVER going back to.
You can do this, I know you can! Stay strong, don't ever give up!

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Waurie In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2012-01-29 02:26:40 +0000 UTC]

thanks, oh and the buddah realize btw that deprivation wasn't the answer for nirvana Ultimately it's just appreciating life as it is the trees the sky the beauty of living..you know what I mean I think! I have issues with just enjoying living regardless of food, I'm just sadly lonely and pmsing and i want communication but i don't know, it's like i can't settle for 99.99 percent i always want more pleasure from almost anything materialistic or just from people do you know what i mean? like reading or settling for less is actually more, i don't mean just food i mean in life, but i do realize that moderation is important enough it just seems that settling for less thimnking is asking so much from myself, i think i have an ego prob lol, you sound swell and im glad to hear that ur a christian, jesus would want you to survive darling and help urself and others, like sacrifice to believe in believing you can help the world be a better place, i think that i should be honest with myself and follow the same route of sacrifice but please eat to survive!!!

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to Waurie [2012-01-29 18:20:12 +0000 UTC]

Awww sweetie. I am eating, don't worry. I might not be HAPPY about it, but I'm doing it.
I know it can be hard to really connect with the people and things around you. But relationships take time. And learn to just let things go. Nobody's perfect, (I sound like Hannah Montanna. That's scary.) and everyone makes mistakes, myself included. Letting go is a very valuable lesson that will help you in every aspect of your life. Obviously, if they deathly insult you, that's different. But the little things? Let 'em fly.
As you've said to me, learn to appreciate the beauty of all the living things around you. It's winter now. (At least here in the Northern Hempisphere, not sure where you live ) Look at the way the snow sparkles like powdered diamonds when the sun shines on it, and the way it looks like Chinese silk when the moon light hits it. Think of how freaking yummy that mug of hot chocolate is. Think of how it's the perfect time of year to curl up with your favourite book under the covers with a mug of something hot all day.
Just don't give up.

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Razzle-dazzle1606 In reply to madlydisorderedmind [2011-06-29 19:38:53 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much! I will definitley check out the website. Another good one is www.ed-bites.blogspot.com It's the blog of a woman named Carrie Arnold who has had anorexia for over a decade and is on her way to recovery. It's really great.
Stay strong! I know you can do it!

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madlydisorderedmind In reply to Razzle-dazzle1606 [2011-06-30 08:32:07 +0000 UTC]

thank you! I will take a look at that one too!

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