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CameloPardalis9 [29401818] [] "Rps as Kaku Yamakaze"

# Statistics

Favourites: 12269; Deviations: 18; Watchers: 331

Watching: 452; Pageviews: 38252; Comments Made: 8083; Friends: 452


# Comments

Comments: 935

VekaFitzfrancis [2019-05-10 21:43:08 +0000 UTC]

((Just gonna drop this here so you have something new to come back to. This can be for either character, your choice.)

"Honhonhon," the voice is low for a tenor, but the glittering sapphire eyes suggest nothing but a dangerous mirth, like a snake coiling playfully around its intended victim. The legionnaire enjoys the hunt and now, having located his target, he lets him know he is there. After all, the target may just indulge him in a chase ...

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goldxnheart [2019-03-14 05:17:51 +0000 UTC]

( geek in disguise. )  
Oh my goodness gracious, I feel like I got whiplash seeing your account again after so long. 
It's certainly been a while I'm surprised you're even still active. Good to see someone's still trying to show this ol' giraffe man love in 2019! How's life treating you these days?

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to goldxnheart [2019-03-27 00:53:34 +0000 UTC]

(( ...OK, so, since we already answered your actual above comment elsewhere, I thought I'd make it the jumping-off point for another discussion, possibly?

To be specific: since I'm currently playing boarding-house for a sore throat, runny nose, headache, and various other aches and pains, might we engage in some more storyline-plotting, whether for canon or AU settings?

=w=~ ))

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goldxnheart In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-27 01:11:57 +0000 UTC]

( geek in disguise. )  
Sure that's fine!
I'm currently working on a cover for something, as well as isolating from any social interaction aside from media so; there's that. 
I don't see why not, you got something in mind? 

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to goldxnheart [2019-03-27 01:44:07 +0000 UTC]

(( Ooh! I hope that goes smoothly for you!

Well, one might be an AU where it's maybe a modern-day-esque setting? And since he's had a different background, she'll be able to interact with him differently!

The other could maybe be for the canon setting, figuring out where he (and therefore she, too) is gonna head next! ))

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goldxnheart In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-27 02:17:31 +0000 UTC]

( geek in disguise. )  
Thanks! I'm just about finished with it so hopefully it turned out okay. 
Sounds interesting. If anything it could be a mix of the strips after Enis Lobby, or back in Water 7 when he still held that facade of being a loyal shipwright. Either or. Since Eileen would be a nomnad of sorts she'd probably go wherever long as it's to avoid being caught.  

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to goldxnheart [2019-03-27 02:58:46 +0000 UTC]

(( Hooray!

I got confused, ahaha... What could "be a mix," and all that? ))

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goldxnheart In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-27 03:26:47 +0000 UTC]

( geek in disguise. )  
Oh! Like, an AU similar to the aftermath of Eniss Lobby with CP9 returning to their home island, expect there isn't any of that government or working for the navy nonsense I guess is what I was trying to imply?? Sorry I should've been more specific.  

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IRIS-KUPP [2019-03-10 20:46:49 +0000 UTC]

  and watch.

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S-panje [2019-03-10 13:53:09 +0000 UTC]

((Oh, hi! Haven't seen you floating around here in a while ^^ How are you?))

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to S-panje [2019-03-10 15:39:32 +0000 UTC]

((  *wavewave*  Doing OK--and thank you kindly for asking!  ^^  Graduated from college a few years ago, and am now looking for full-time employment...  Was hoping to start up again on DA, just with a lot more self-control!  Got in over my head last time, my own fault.    But, how're you?  And--please forgive me, but--in what context had I interacted with you?  Such as, what Muse, or what Mun moniker?  ))

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S-panje In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-10 16:32:05 +0000 UTC]

((We never really RP-ed, but I saw you in the comments of APH-NorthernIreland a lot ^^ I'm also RP-Esmera, maybe that rings a bell?

And I'm doing good! College is fun, studying biomedical science, so that's going good xD))

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to S-panje [2019-03-13 14:35:08 +0000 UTC]

(( Oooh, OK! --Uhh, not sure if that rings any bells or not, but hi anyway! XD

Glad to hear it!

*looks for, checks Rule Page*
"I don't rp with mains (accounts that are not 100% for roleplaying, aka a personal account), or non-hetalia OCs on this account. I'm sorry."
I... think maybe this is why we never rp'd?  Still, we can at least chat every so often OOC, I guess?  XJ ))

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S-panje In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-13 14:42:36 +0000 UTC]

((XD Hi.

Ah, yeah, that's probably a reason xD I put that rule in place because I had a minor try and pressure me in RPing smut with her self-insert, so that kinda ruined RPing Toni with non-hetalia OCs. And I'm not a big fan of crossover RPs, so that's also a thing, plus I don't know enough about most fandoms to properly RP ;w; But OOC talk is always good! ^^))

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to S-panje [2019-03-13 15:05:39 +0000 UTC]

(( ...Eeewwwww.  eAe  Sorry you had that experience!

*nodnod*  All righty!  (TBH, I'm not even really sure how to, uh, 'classify' mine?  Because even though he's technically a canon character, not an OC, around 99% of the time I just make an AU version of him to fit the world of the other person's muse?  Like, keep his personality and his appearance, but not his canon powers?  Ehehe!  X3)

Like... Anime Kaku : jumps two stories high and crosses a city in two minutes by leaping from rooftop to rooftop (which I can't find an icon for XJ)
Normal-Human-AU Kaku:  is in good shape, does parkour

    vs.    ))

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S-panje In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-13 16:09:15 +0000 UTC]

((Yeah, that made me feel really uncomfortable because I was 18+ when that happened-

I see! That sounds neat ^^))

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HTTS-India [2019-03-10 03:47:50 +0000 UTC]

(( aaah!!
This is honestly going to sound so dorky but I've always admired your rp style from afar and you've been quite a tremendous inspiration for me! It's honestly so nice to see this account again and I just wanted to welcome you back! ))

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to HTTS-India [2019-03-10 04:00:44 +0000 UTC]

((   

I... I don't mind at all!!! Thank you!!! It means so much to me that you posted this! And, and, such lovely things to say!! I'm so happy to have been an inspiration to somebody, and thank you for welcoming me back!!

 

...Could we rp? >//w//< ))

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HTTS-India In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-10 15:42:58 +0000 UTC]

(( Definitely!! I'd be so happy to do so! Feel free to comment on any of my starters! Oh my goodness, I'm so thankful! ))

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to HTTS-India [2019-03-10 21:13:34 +0000 UTC]

(( Hooray!! —Hey, listen, I've had an idea for a while now about a 'genderbent' or whatever you call it version of Kaku--but it wouldn't just be his exact personality in a different body! She'd have her own particular insecurities, for example, but she'd still be old-fashioned and good-hearted! But, I haven't had much opportunity at all to actually write her, and I was wondering if maybe I could try out writing for her with you! ))

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HTTS-India In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-10 21:40:47 +0000 UTC]

(( Of course! That'd be perfectly fine with me! ))

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to HTTS-India [2019-03-11 16:28:07 +0000 UTC]

(( Sweet! Thanks so much! I had several ideas brewing, and I was stuck for a while on which one to use--so I decided to just comment on several things after all, as the thoughts came to me.

And--there was one that I'm not sure where I saw it, but it's along the lines of "if soulmate A is injured, soulmate B receives matching marks to the body, but without the pain--" so my mind immediately went to, "hm, A in a physically abusive relationship trying to hide their bruises, etc.--and meanwhile B realizes with increasing dread/rage the kind of situation A must be in, and starts searching for A (while intermittently having to hide/explain away new marks that appear!)..."

Sorry if, um, grim, but I saw how you were fine with covering some dark subjects, sooo... >_>; ))

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HTTS-India In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-11 20:46:06 +0000 UTC]

(( Oh wow! That sounds like a very interesting rp indeed! Don't worry about commenting on too many things - it's 100% great with me!
Yep, angst is my forte! I'm a sucker for complicated characters and motivations. I don't shy away from the discussing of such topics, nor am I afraid to make Raj a pretty shitty person if the situation demands it. You've got a wonderful idea and I'd be delighted to rp it! ))

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SmallAustrianVillage [2019-02-10 21:54:43 +0000 UTC]

I found video of Kaku from a security camera...

twitter.com/holdmyale/status/1…

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-02-11 01:00:44 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, you wonderful person!! This is so perfect!

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-02-11 01:13:28 +0000 UTC]

*chuckles* I saw it and immediately asked if that was Kaku. Then I realized I needed to share it.

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-02-11 01:18:28 +0000 UTC]

And I'm so glad you did! ^^ Hope the weather is treating you more kindly, by the way.

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-02-11 10:19:37 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. The weather hasn't been the greatest for the city, but I haven't had much trouble with the snow.

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EmeraldAngel2 [2019-02-10 16:19:34 +0000 UTC]

Are you truly back?? When I saw that you had favorited one of my older references, I had to reread the user name again. Welcome back, buddy! How have you been?

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to EmeraldAngel2 [2019-02-26 18:09:28 +0000 UTC]

Eh heh heh! Yep, back--but in a far more limited capacity (or so is the plan). I was spending way too much time on DA, back in the day, and I hope to be more responsible, this time around!

Haven't had the wherewithal (time, energy, etc.) to give my profile a makeover (or reply promptly—apologies for that!), and it's rather nice getting in touch with folks one-by-one like this--makes coming back not be overwhelming!

Graduated college in 2016; been job-searching for a few years now, getting 'interim positions,' as I call them, in the meantime; currently working part-time, variable hours.

Love the way you've made lists of relationships and things with links to relevant threads! I know, it's a thing people do sometimes; I just especially like the way yours is executed--specifically the "links to relevant threads" part! XJ

And speaking of character relationships... Well, there may be no way to bring this up without awkwardness, but, my personal standpoint toward my own involvement in writing same-sex relationships has shifted. —Please understand that I am not saying anything here about what other people choose to write! Just, me personally, and what I feel comfortable with writing, myself, for one reason and another. ...OK?

Anywho! Good to hear from you, and hope IRL's treating you well, heheh!

(And, as you can see, my penchant for lengthy posts is very much alive and well! )

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EmeraldAngel2 In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-02-28 20:41:14 +0000 UTC]

It’s so good to hear from you again! Congrats on graduating! I got my AA degree in 2017, and I’m trying other colleges for a bachelor degree now. I’m actually about to withdraw from a college because it hasn’t been a great experience for me. It’s been expensive and stressful. ;w; Oh, that’s alright! I was actually going to ask that once you’re ready to RP again, if and when you’re able to, we could start everything over?)

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to EmeraldAngel2 [2019-03-09 20:43:20 +0000 UTC]

(( It's nice getting in touch with you again, too! Congrats, yourself, on the one degree, and best of luck to you on the second! Sorry that particular experience hasn't treated you well--I hope things look up for you soon!

And, yes, I'd love to start fresh--though I hope our previous threads won't be deleted! Subject matter aside, I really like some of the writing in those!

Do you have particular Muses that you prefer to write for, nowadays? ))

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EmeraldAngel2 In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-03-10 13:33:08 +0000 UTC]

(I’m not going to delete them. I still have the memes up! I still write mainly as Isaac and Cyril, but I’m trying to use Adrien again.)

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inprobitas [2019-01-31 21:36:38 +0000 UTC]

oh my goodness, hello! it's been so long!

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to inprobitas [2019-01-31 21:47:29 +0000 UTC]

*shy wave and grin* hey there~

so I'm now (wait, what year is this, again? 2019?) over 2 years graduated from college, and still job-hunting for something that's full-time.

it took me a minute to find your admin page; I know I recognize the moniker Frau, but whom did I know you as, again? i.e., what muse? XD --I just followed your page because I liked your muse setup and the lovely ooc replies you wrote to people!--then I stumbled upon the Mun page!

*kinda now wants own personal dustfish* X3

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inprobitas In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-01-31 22:50:14 +0000 UTC]

hello! that's good to hear that you're doing well
i feel you on the job hunting and wish you luck there - !

aa thanks, i do need to put my mun page somewhere a little more obvious but....Aesthetic? is that a valid excuse?
you would have known me as @/dandified, a 2p austria! i'm still periodically active there but mostly here for now

right?? dusti is so heckin cute

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SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-25 17:12:15 +0000 UTC]

You live? I hope you are doing well!

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-27 05:11:56 +0000 UTC]

Indeed, I live, and am doing fairly well, thank you kindly!

Been graduated from college for a few years now; currently employed part-time, still job-hunting... Thought that maybe now'd be an OK time to peek back at DA, possibly consider starting up writing with folks again--but, on a much more limited scale!

I know now that--on DA, specifically--I previously got into more than I could handle, both emotionally and in terms of wisely budgeting my time... Still, positive memories, on the whole.

Not sure how to view your Journals or that sort of thing, so I'll instead say here that I hope you're doing well, yourself!

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-01-27 05:33:10 +0000 UTC]

On the whole things have been looking up around here. I had to reset Vive because of some unwelcome real life drama with another RPer, but that's one of the unfortunate side effects of fandom. If you want to get back in roleplaying, their relationship can be unaffected, or, we can start anew, your choice, if and when you have the time.

I feel you on the whole job thing, I count myself very lucky to finally have landed a full time job. Keep looking! They are out there, just usually not where you expected.

I'm glad you came back, even if it was just to say hi. I always wonder what happened to folks who I interacted with and then disappear. 

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-27 05:51:54 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, yikes. Well, that's a shame, but I'm glad for you that you're able to make a new beginning, at least!

To be honest, you're one of a select few persons with whom I'd want to engage, if starting up this sort of thing again... And, having thought on it for a bit, I believe I would like to, after all. As for their relationship, I was under the impression that it more or less varied according to the individual rp, rather than an overarching theme? But, I'm sure they'll get along well in any case!

Somehow, there's one particular scenario that has decided to stand out to me, in my memory, as one I believe I'd enjoy picking up again... But, should I choose from something already set up, or that sort of thing? Don't want to flout any system you've put into place!

Congrats on the job--very happy for you!--and many thanks for the encouragement.

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-01-27 06:35:18 +0000 UTC]

My policy is you can always pick up from where we left off, or you are more than welcome to go back through an older rp journal and start us anew. I'm delighted with either possibility. 

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-29 05:03:55 +0000 UTC]

Just as I remember: you're so sweet!

All right, the scenario that I remember went something like this... They were taking part in an arranged marriage, but the atmosphere was all very sweet and kind, not angsty at all. He was a bit older, I think... And I'm pretty sure he had been wounded in service to the kingdom (medieval setting?) so, part of the reason for the marriage was to give him someone to take care of him and help him run his estate...

And a detail I remember--he was going to say, as they were standing there, that she could have the choice of if/when to lift her veil--give her an option to, potentially, make the whole experience that much less of an ordeal, since he had no idea how she felt about it...

Pretty certain that's as far as we got?

What I'm having difficulty with, now, is whether or not I want to adjust his personality... Honestly, I love the more mellowed-out and matured version of him, but there's so much more room for character growth if he hasn't already reached that point! Also debating what the injury should be--and, part and parcel with that aspect, to what extent it affects his everyday life. E.g., a shoulder wound makes getting dressed difficult, even with help, but a leg wound impacts being able to sit in a chair or on a horse, simply walking around--and, with its own levels of vexation, ease of intimacy...

So, I'm wondering how much of an issue his temper would be--whether he's known for it, for example--and how a wound would exascerbate everything.... Because, on another point, I don't just want it to be endless angst, which seems too easy to slip into with such a situation!

Shall we brainstorm a bit together, hammer out the details? If, indeed, this is a scene that catches your interest in the first place!

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-01-29 16:07:02 +0000 UTC]

I remember that one, I was kinda bummed to delete that RP.

Yes, that was one where, as a wounded but loyal soldier he had asked for a wife, and a quiet place to retire to - Vive, with her small estate was offered to him.

I'd love to revisit that, at any point if you like, from the king introducing her to him, to anywhere else along the line. 

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-29 23:16:59 +0000 UTC]



Hooray! In that case, what if I start up right here on this thread? (And, to clarify, you'll write for the king, correct?)

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-01-30 02:24:01 +0000 UTC]

(Certainly to both. Shall I start or you?)

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-30 02:26:32 +0000 UTC]

(If you would do the honors, dear friend? It's wonderful to be back in touch with you! )

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-01-30 02:36:15 +0000 UTC]

(Alrighty then!)

The king looked up when the royal announcer said his name. The rest of the court fell into a soft murmur, a sign of respect, for the king to acknowledge the man making his way among their ranks- he was not of them, the fawning courtesans, self important nobility or nervous merchants who all came to surround the king and hope to somehow make themself more important for being in the royal presence. No, he was already special. He had earned it, not by chance of being born to favored parents, but in the din and heat of battle. Bled for it. Lost dear comrades for it. Took prisoners and lives for it. Yes, he had purchased his fame with a costly coin, and now, with the kingdom at peace, with the monarch secure in his power, he would take that coin, that fame, and use it to acquire a boon.

"My loyalest of knights, what brings you before me?" The king asks, genuinely curious, and eager for something not of the usual flavor of business. Let his pampered court wait. His knight of years of service had earned this meeting.

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-30 19:13:25 +0000 UTC]

At last, the conflict had been laid to rest. The kingdom could heal, rebuild, under the guidance of its rightful ruler, stabilizing all which greed and pride had brought frighteningly close to ruin. The scars would remain: lives lost could not be regained, and the effects of horrors undergone could not be erased; nevertheless, now, in time of peace, the kingdom and its people could once more be made whole. Though dearly bought, this outcome was the end toward which, for which, Kaku and his comrades-in-arms had risked--or sacrificed--life and limb.

Now, all that remained was to determine... With wartime ended, what place was there for a worn and weary warrior?

Tall and lean (a little leaner, now, only recently emerged from the confines of a sickbed), the ruddy-haired knight bore a smile of gratitude, drawn though his features were in pain. Step, step, step... He was well aware of how singular a figure he appeared--for was not a staff the implement of a pilgrim, journey-bound, or of a beggar whose limbs were not whole? Yet, the wounds to his side so plagued him that he found it necessary to make use of the same, leaning all the more heavily upon it as he lowered himself slowly to one knee. His breath ragged, head bowed, he laid the staff upon the ground before him--that he might not give the appearance of having a potential weapon in readiness against the king--collecting himself in the same moment.

"Majesty..." The surrounding murmur fell to an even lower volume, as those present strained to hear. (So deep a voice for so thin a frame!) Steadying himself, the knight continued in a clearer tone, ever deferential, his gaze trained upon the base of the dais. "Would that his majesty's reign might grace the kingdom for ten thousand years of prosperity and peace." An unusal expression--not the standard verbiage, to be sure; a few among the crowd exchanged glances or low remarks of confusion and surprise. The man had been a staple figure in the realm for some time, and few among the current gathering, caught up as they were in their present finery, had ever given thought as to his origins.

The pain in his side dulled to an ache, and the knight composed himself, his presence more notable, as he found it easier to breathe. "Some years ago, your servant left the land of his birth, seeking a cause worthy of aid, which he found in service to your majesty." He had no cause to falter; to ask a boon was well within his right; and yet, he ducked his head a little lower, voice barely retaining steadiness.

"In that time, your servant has had purpose, striving in battle to secure your majesty's rightful place upon the throne. And now, thanks be to heaven, that purpose has been achieved, through the efforts of many." Grey eyes slid closed for a moment as he swallowed, mouth dry.

"Majesty, your servant craves a boon. His life has been filled with the cares of battle, and the open field, the barracks, have been a fitting dwelling-place. But... The conflict now being ended, the way of life held until now must cease and be replaced with something new, something befitting a time of peace. And if... if, heaven willing, it be true that the sword may be laid to rest, its duty now complete, then would that the same could be true for this your servant."

"....M-majesty... Your servant would--would ask of you a wife." (How striking, that a man known for his courage in battle, unflinching in the face of peril to life and limb, would, upon voicing such a request, flush red from nose to ear!) "A-and with a wife... a home. Coming from afar, your servant has no habitation save that which your majesty has graciously provided, and no family to call his own; indeed, no associates beyond his comrades on the field of battle, a number which is now the more diminished..." His voice caught, and he struggled for a moment against tears, his breaths unsteady as he faced the sudden barrage of pangs of loss.

When he resumed, his momentary melancholy gave way to quietude. "Majesty. In your mercy and greatness of heart, grant your servant a house with which he may join, that, being no longer fit for battle, he may live out his days in peace--and, in so doing, find new use and purpose."

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SmallAustrianVillage In reply to CameloPardalis9 [2019-01-30 23:55:23 +0000 UTC]

Roderick I was by all accounts a cold man, unwilling (although in reality unable) to express his feelings outside of his beautifully played violin. Because of that his younger brother, the congenital and honestly better loved Julian had sought a coup, leading to the civil war that landed the man who would be king in the position of needing the help of this foreign knight. A knight who, not only was unusually loyal, but never once took offense to his lord's seeming lack of emotion. That in itself had earned Kaku a favored place, but his battle prowess, his unflagging 'it will be done' attitude, had earned him a place at the king's side like no other. This last battle, that had seen Kaku take an arrow to the side intended for the king had grieved Rodrick more than he had ever felt before and while he could only stare emotionlessly at his loyal knight has he lay gasping for breath on the surgeon's plank, he was moved to compose an entire concerto about it, when he learned that Kaku would live.

Kaku, who had never once begged a boon before, despite years of the privilege being his. Kaku, who now asked for, of all things a wife and a home.

If he had the ability to, he would have smiled. Instead the raven haired monarch nodded thoughtfully.

"Rise, Sir Kaku. You have earned that and your boon as well. There are several eligible women-" the courtesans suddenly seem to vanish, not a surprise. Kaku's reputation as a demon on the battlefield proceeds him, even in this state, "- whom would be honored with such a husband as you. I ask, my knight, that you leave this matter in my hands." He nodded again, this time his nod summoning a squire carrying a leather bound tome. "Return in a fortnight, and I will have it all arranged."

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CameloPardalis9 In reply to SmallAustrianVillage [2019-01-31 17:35:13 +0000 UTC]

Tears now glittering in truth upon his lashes, Kaku bowed his head still lower, his voice thick with emotion, a display in stark contrast to the monarch before whom he knelt. He could not explain in words the bond which heaven had seen fit to form between the two--they, who could scarcely have been more different in both demeanor and appearance--something more than merely master and vassal; he knew only that Roderick was the man most worthy of his unwavering devotion. "My liege..."

Drawing in as deep a breath as he could without overmuch discomfort, the knight again took up his staff, his knuckles whitening, brows furrowed, as he secured the leverage with which to stand, rising with noticable effort, but with no word of complaint.

"Now... as ever--" his breaths were ragged, but his tone was steady--"your servant's life... is yours t-... to command." Another bow: although he cannot hide a grimace at the pain it causes, he quickly schools his features, his gratitude once more as plainly evident in his face as in his tone. "Your servant shall settle his accounts, and shall return a fortnight hence. Majesty..."

So saying, he takes his leave, not once glancing aside to the once-more buzzing throng, though his sharp ears cannot escape overhearing tones of wonder, incredulity, disdain... He clears the throne room's doors, yearning for swiftness of stride now beyond his reach: and, straightway, as soon as he cannot be seen, he ducks into a side hallway--and nearly doubles over, face contorted, his free hand clutching his side as he gasps in pain, fighting spasms that leave him faint and struggling for air. He finds himself light-headed, one hand against a wall, the crown of his head resting against the same, as, with agonizing slowness, the fit subsides.

Breathe... Breathe... In, and out....

Such an episode was to be expected. His frame is unaccustomed, as of late, to being more than bed-ridden; but, objective now complete, he can return--to where else but the barracks, empty though they be of all surviving comrades, gone to stay with relatives of their own.

Sufficiently recovered, he makes his slow but steady way through castle halls--encountering, in one, a group of women, aflutter in their finery, their avid gossip falling to hushed whispers as he nods in brief acknowledgment and passes. He sees the looks they give him, the expressions not entirely hidden behind their fans--wary and uncertain, disdainful, even fearful--and though his own visage remains neutral, his heart aches with new intensity.

Do they think him such a monster? Fear that he will lash out at any slight offense, any petty cause, rather than expressly in defense of his king? Does he... disgust them? He has never cared to deck himself in latest fashions, but his clothing, albeit fairly plain, is well-kept, the man himself well-groomed... Except, he can do naught where his features are concerned, and those have earned--still garner, regularly--enough in stares to last him lifetimes over!

The king had never stared, had not so much as commented on the features with which Kaku had been born; such matters were of no concern to him. And, assuredly, if Roderick declared there to be women who would deem it an honor to wed the ginger knight, then such women could not but exist! --And yet...

And yet, for several days after his audience with the king, Kaku found himself deeply troubled--in the thoughts themselves, and in the belief that such thoughts (so he feared) implied distrust of the very man whose judgment Kaku had never before questioned!

Dread weighed upon his heart and mind, despite valiant efforts to dispel it, and he awoke anew to the realization of just how ill-prepared he was to interact with, let alone join with in the closest of all bonds, the opposite sex. His company had been the barracks, and though he had not conformed to the rough and crude manners that largely surrounded him, he had little other example than Roderick himself--Kaku was never one to mingle with the court at large, with all the surreptitious incincerity, convoluted alliances, and shameless favor-mongering it often harbored.

Then he bethought himself of the clergy. Kaku little knew whether some, or all, or none, were themselves married, only that they were in charge of the sacred office of joining others thus... Then, should they not be a source of wisdom where that institution was concerned?

It was to his relief that his questions were accepted gently, that he was made welcome, his concerns addressed sincerely, and without scorn.

He grasped that he should have as much care for her sake, if not more, as he would for himself--or for the king, since, in Kaku's eyes, the king's needs far outweighed his own; indeed, the comparison brought comfort in its familiarity--devoting oneself to the wellbeing of another...

And yet, he was to lead, rather than defer. (After all, he would be a part of an entire household, not solely interacting with this woman!) Well, he had given orders in battle, so there again was something he recognized... Although, he was not one who had commanded without regard for others' lives; rather, he conferred, and then, to those he trusted--and with whom that trust was mutual, moreover--he gave the deciding word.

Then, if he were to be master of the house, it would be jointly so. That was not to say he would be overly familiar with the servants--with order came stability for everyone involved, and he would act according to his role--but neither saw he any need to alienate or belittle them, without whose constant efforts nothing could be done!

And as for... her, specifically... What manner of person, of personality, of inclinations...

He must trust his king to see what he himself could not imagine possible.

Fourteen days after the initial meeting, Kaku crossed the threshold once again, mind roiling with trepidation and resolve in equal measure, and with no material possessions to his name besides his staff and the new suit of clothes he wore, the which he had obtained from collecting a long-standing debt. They were something befitting one other than a soldier--indeed, his favored color, a deep blue, was perhaps surprising in its costliness--but, in all other respects, as he steadfastly insisted, they were more reserved than the ever-changing trends of fashion, from doublet to shoes to cloak.

A part of him held fast to the decisions toward which his convictions prompted him... While another could only pray that he would not be deemed lacking.

Despite his efforts to the contrary, with his thoughts in turmoil and his body still under significant strain, his expression as he entered was primarily one of weariness--though the depths of his resolve were visible, if one looked carefully, within his ash-grey eyes.

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