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QQI25 — Untitled
Published: 2016-07-24 15:14:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 82; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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I'm sorry friend,i know I've left you in the dark
for quite a while.
i know you probably think
i abandoned you,
but i didn't.
not really.
i left you
the way my depression left me.
slowly, oh so
slowly,
then coming back,
always coming back.
I'm scared to get
attached
because it's only ever ended
with the other person
leaving
but now in the process
I'm the one
that fled.
i think my most used word must be
sorry
because I'll never be done
apologising for my existence
I'll never be done
being the meek one,
the weak one,
I'll never be done
wishing the world was better
and apologising to the
grass and the
clouds and the
flowers and
I'll never be done apologising
for not fitting the mold
for not being bold
for not being the way you told me to
the way you raised me to
the way you want me to
be.
I'm sorry i couldn't just
be a girl
I'm sorry i couldn't just
be skinny
I'm sorry i couldn't be
calm
I'm sorry i couldn't be
happy
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm -
the words always trip
over themselves
as they run
off my tongue
and out my mouth.
i can never tell a funny story without including
maybe and
i think
and screwing up the entire thing
and regretting ever opening my mouth
in the first place.
i can never
try to be smooth
without going down
with the bumps along the way.
and i always
stop
because i think I'm making an embarrassment of myself,
but for you, friend,
I'll try.
