tatuued [2009-12-12 19:08:11 +0000 UTC]

yeah I expose myself.. deviant art is my confessional booth

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NervPoison [2009-11-29 13:41:50 +0000 UTC]

Ironically I intentionally used "I'm" because I felt the amount of syllables would be closer to that of the other lines. XD Upon closer reading you're right though. I've changed it.

Thanks for the in-depth comment and the fav! Usually the comments I get are shorter than the actual poem.
Thanks for reading.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SadisticButterfly [2009-11-28 19:46:32 +0000 UTC]

As a piece of poetry I love this. It may be short but there is so much within it that the length is very fitting, which also adds to the idea of there being so much within something so small, such as what some would perceive as being general information actually hiding something deeper (such as a weakness or a vulnerability).

I like the final line in particular; it is a challenge, almost a dare and the reader wants to rise to that and uncover the meaning within the pages.

At the same time though I find it carries a slant of sadness, or at least that is how I perceive it. Maybe the challenge is actually a wish for someone to untangle the riddle.

I also liked the use of repetition; it added to the general flow and reinforces the ideas. The metaphor of the book is a nice touch; we read all the time and books don't hide their words from us, nor do they lock up their secrets, but what if that is just what we think? Maybe what we know isn't always the truth and sometimes we need to search beyond the paper and into the spine.

The only thing I don't like is that
"I'm contradiction but make so much sense" felt awkward to me, I personally would have changed the "I'm" to I am, that way it fits with the other lines and it flows nicer. That being said it is fitting in a way that it is that line which is out of place as it deals with contradiction :b

I hope this made sense, it did in my head D:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0