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Description
I do not own anything nor do I make any money from this story. All rights apply.

[A/N I’ll be slowing with updates as work consumes my time again.]

The Price of Freedom – Truth Behind the Project

Zack woke late in the afternoon. The light was warm coming through the windows. A soft breeze played with the edge of a poster that hadn’t been tacked down. Zack stared at the poster for a while – it was of ShinRa’s latest all terrain vehicle. Zack hadn’t had a chance to drive it yet – he still wanted to but doubted he would ever have the chance now. Rolling over, Zack hung his head over the edge of the bed to check on Cloud. He was still in the same position Mercia had left him in, once again staring at nothing. Or maybe… Zack followed Cloud’s line of sight. Maybe he was looking at the motorbike that adored most of the wall in various angles and sizes.

Zack lay for some time listening to the sounds of the house. He heard people arriving, assuming them to be Lucas and Mercia’s sons from the way they spoke. He couldn’t hear exact words but got the idea from tone and manner. His thoughts drifted to where he and Cloud were going to go from Arda. Costa Del Sol was now out of the question. It was too risky. Not only would it be full of ShinRa infantrymen but the Turks would be keeping an eye on it as well – it was the most direct route to Midgar. He would have to go a little south before he tried to cross over. There were many little fishing village along the coast. He was sure he could pay enough for someone to take them across. And to another little village, not to Junon – Junon was out of the question. If Costa Del Sol was risky, Junon was suicide. Any landing between Junon and Midgar would be fine. But first de needed to get south. The best option in terms of hiding would be along the mountain range – he would have to stay west until there was no chance anyone from North Corel would finding them and then cross over the range before Gold Saucer. Going along the mountain would take time but it wouldn’t cost that much, in fact, with Zack hunting for their food, it wouldn’t cost anything. But he would need money to pay someone to take them across the water. The chances were he might need a lot of money. Right now Zack had no money – he had used it all to get to Arda. The sensibility of that plan was still up to debate but there was no use fretting or worrying about action he had done. He had to concentrate on actions he was going to do.

Mercia was right about one thing – the Turks had looked in Arda for them. And Zack was right about one thing – they would come back. There was a lot of land to cover before the Turks could begin to reinvestigate suspect places. Zack figured at least two weeks, possibly three depending on how many men ShinRa was willing to put on the task. Zack would need to speak to Lucas about the towns in the area – he wasn’t keen to stay in Arda. He was sure the Turks had marked it as one of the ones to investigate first. The incident that morning with the hiding of a deserter would have alerted someone.

Though there was a chance that because of the deserter the Turks would look elsewhere as they would ‘know’ what was happening in Arda. Ultimately it would depend on how much information the Turks had.

Laughter drifted up from below. Someone was having a good time… Zack thought he detected an underlying tone of nastiness. The laughter continued – it was full of cruelty. A hand grabbed Zack’s arm, he tried to pull free but the grip was strong. And cold. Zack felt his body getting colder and he started to shiver. With a yell he pulled himself free and for a moment he felt like he was floating before he landed heavily on the bedroom floor. He cast about for his attacker but it was a dream - he had entangled himself in his blanket as he had dozed off and dreamt and fallen out of bed. He jumped as the bedroom door open.

Lucas was about to step into the room when he saw Zack on the floor, he glanced at the top bunk before asking if Zack was okay.

“Yeah,” said Zack, he didn’t elaborate but got to his feet instead, wondering how it had got so late.

“We’re about to have dinner if you want to come down,” said Lucas.

“Thank you,” mumbled Zack putting the blanket back on the bed.

Zack straighten his clothes and checked on Cloud. His breathing was even and calm, his eyes were open but free of panic but still blank, blinking slowly.

“Hey, Spike,” said Zack ruffling his hair, “I’m going to get something to eat, okay.”

Lucas was waiting in the passage for Zack. They didn’t say anything on the way down but chatter drifted up the stairs. Zack paused at the doorway to the large kitchen, warm air wafted passed him from the wood cooker – there was no electricity this far out of nowhere. Mercia was busying dishing some mashed potato onto a plate. Three boys, Lucas’ sons, were seated at the table in the middle of the kitchen. Zack guessed them to be round 14, 18 and 21 years of age, they looked like younger versions of their father. The youngest’s face lit up when he saw Zack – this was obviously Zehn – the other two showed passing interest but their focus for the moment was the meal before them.

“Take a seat,” said Mercia as she placed the plate of food off to one side.

Zack smiled as he took a seat and Mercia put a clean plate in front of him. Zack couldn’t deny how ravenous he was, and the chicken and vegetables before him smelt delicious. He paused in dishing some carrots when he noticed Zehn was trying to look at his eyes. Lucas saw and cleared his throat pointedly, Zehn quickly muttered an apology and continued eating.

Zack had never sat through a more awkward dinner. Mercia made several attempts to elicit conversation but Zack was a huge question sitting at the end of the table. He knew his presences was distracting to the daily life of Lucas’ family and felt stronger about his need to be away from Arda. He was disrupting this family’s life and placing them all in danger. At one time Zack would have taken umbrage at someone suggesting that ShinRa would endanger civilians’ life but he knew how they treated those they ‘valued’, he didn’t want to think about how they would treat those they perceived as having no value.

“Is there anything Cloud doesn’t eat?” asked Mercia as dinner finished and plates were being gathered.

“Nah,” said Zack, “he eats anything – the army…”

Zack stopped. He was going to say the army beat any nonsense and fussiness out of a person. Zack waited while the boys took the dishes to the scullery and started washing up.

“Sorry,” apologised Zack. “I’m not usually unable to finish sentences – guess I’m more tired than I thought.”

“Well,” said Mercia as she started mashing the carrots and mixing them with the mashed potato she had set aside earlier. “I must say, after the solid sleeping you did this morning, I am surprised. You didn’t even stir when Zehn came home.”

Zack frowned. Had Mercia check on him while he slept and he didn’t hear her enter the room? Had he been that wiped this morning? Mercia misunderstood his frown and didn’t say anything further. Zack cursed slightly.

“Um, Cloud won’t be able to eat that. Yet,” added Zack. “He, um, can barely handle water right now so, um…”

“Oh, I’ll mash it up really fine,” said Mercia.

“No, he can’t…” Zack cleared his throat. “Cloud is very…” Zack had to stop again. He looked at the table top for a moment trying to swallow the lump in his throat. One side effect of being rested and thinking properly – Zack was realising the horror he had left behind, realising how sick Cloud really was, how much depended Cloud was on him.

He missed the silent communication between Mercia and Lucas while he tried to gain control of his emotions.

“I’ll make a broth, it will be thin like water but more nutritious,” she said getting to her feet.

Zack nodded his thanks. He had a sudden image of Aerith smiling at him as he kneeled by her flowers, for a moment he thought he could smell her flowers – he had to be strong for her, she was waiting. He looked up, clear eyed, to meet Lucas’ contemplative gaze.

“Shall we move to the sitting room?” he asked.

“Sure,” said Zack with no hint of his recent turmoil – that was behind him, he was in control again.

He followed Lucas into an overly stuffed sitting room. There were big armchairs round the fireplace and glass cabinets lined the walls. Though on closer inspection, the cabinets were empty and the armchairs had been darned many times. Maybe Lucas was not a well off as Zack had initially thought. The two ornate lamps on the mantel piece had been lit and cast a warm yellow light.

“Firstly, I would like to say that ShinRa will not hear of your stay from me nor my family,” said Lucas as he sat in what looked to be his regular spot. There was a book on the table next to the chair, along with reading glasses, a pipe and a box of tobacco.

“I know,” said Zack. He noticed a basket of sewing project next to his chair and assumed it to be Mercia’s regular spot. “I didn’t doubt that at all. I mean, you were hiding someone in your dumpster.”

Lucas nodded.

“Now, he is a deserter.”

“Infantrymen by the look of him,” said Zack. “Did he say why he ran?”

“No,” said Lucas picking up his pipe. “I don’t ask really – just like I’m not going to ask why you are running, why your friend has mako poisoning. I wanted you to know that I understand and that you don’t need to make excuses.”

“Okay,” nodded Zack in understanding.

“But you should know, you will need to think of something if you leave,” warned Lucas pushing tobacco into his pipe.

“If?” frowned Zack. “I have to leave.”

“And go where? The Turks are looking for you and they’ve already searched here,” said Lucas. “You will not be the first run away to take up residence here.”

“The Turks will come back,” said Zack.

“Because you’re SOLDIER?” asked Lucas.

Zack nodded instead of answering – he wasn’t entirely sure it was just because he was SOLDIER. Hojo was up to something more than developing a super soldier – Zack was sure of it.

“So where you gonna go – Rocket Town, North Corel? The only other place you might have been able to use is now a ShinRa town,” said Lucas.

“ShinRa town?” asked Zack. He had a pretty good idea of which town Lucas was talking about.

“Nibelheim,” said Lucas confirming Zack’s thoughts. “Something happened in that town – ShinRa denies it but the people there, they’re too friendly and their stories too perfect.”

Zack knew exactly what happened to Nibelheim – the real Nibelheim.

“Sephiroth died there too,” said Lucas.

“Yeah, so those three are the nearest towns?” asked Zack.

Lucas didn’t miss the change in conversation and correctly suspected Zack knew more than he was letting on. He began to wonder about the ‘death’ of Sephiroth, and not for the first time.

“Yup – nearest towns,” he said instead finally lighting his pipe.

Zack let his head fall back against the armchair back wishing his geography of the continent was better.

“I could use your help here,” suggested Lucas.

“I can’t stay here,” said Zack. “I’m putting Arda at risk being here.”

“You know when Sephiroth died, they cancelled the SOLDIER programme,” said Lucas.

“What?” said Zack sitting up.

Lucas nodded.

“You and your friend are part of a very elite group to begin with, and now more so. You say you’re First Class? There might, being generous, be three or four First Class SOLDIERs left. A handful of Seconds and Thirds.”

“Three or four?” asked Zack shocked. “But… but, no… Why?”

“The war with Wutai got rid of most of them, then Sephiroth died and those that were left weren’t replaced when they died. The programme was cancelled and those of Second or Third Class remained where they were – no more promotions. In fact, no more promoting of SOLDIER at all. You’re like a conspiracy theory now, urban legend of sorts for the youngster.”

What the hell had happened in the months they had been prisoner?

“So you’re saying not only am I going to stick out for being a SOLDIER, I’m going to get more attention because I’m a SOLDIER that’s alive?” asked Zack.

“Pretty much,” said Lucas settling back into his chair.

Zack let his head drop into his hands – this was going to be much harder than he thought. Fear of SOLDIER he could have handled and, possibly, used but awe would be more damaging to secrecy and stealth.

“As I was saying – my busy season is coming up and I could use a hand on the plantation,” said Lucas. “The pay is poor, to be honest, but I can offer room and board.”

Zack turned his head to the door moments before Mercia walked in. She had a bowl of broth in her hands – Zack could smell beef and marrow through the tobacco smoke.

“The broth is ready.”

Zack slid his eyes back to Lucas.

“Think about it, tell me tomorrow,” said Lucas.

Zack nodded after a bit, got to his feet and follow Mercia up the stairs. He heard muffled humming from one of the boys’ bedroom as he passed on his way to Zehn’s room. The door was open and he could hear talking from the room – he didn’t recognise the voice but it was young, it had to be Zehn.

“That boy,” muttered Mercia. “I told him to stay out his room.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure Cloud likes the company,” said Zack fairly sure Cloud would normally not like the company. Even if Zehn was only a couple of years younger than him, Cloud didn’t ‘chat’ with strangers. But then again, Zehn was talking about swords so maybe he might.

Zehn’s chatting fell flat when Zack and Mercia walked into the room, his eyes widened a bit.

“Mom…?” he said, Zack could see he was thinking hard. “I thought he might be lonely.”

“Save your excuses,” said Mercia good naturedly.

Zehn stepped back from the bunk so Zack could pull Cloud into a sitting position.

“Hey, Cloud – you up for some dinner? Beefy broth,” said Zack.

No change from when Zack had left him – Zack preferred no change to change for the worse. He stuck out his hand for the bowl of broth. Mercia handed it over without saying anything. With the slow dribbling of liquid into Cloud’s month, Zack managed to get him to drink almost the entire bowl. There had been one choking incident and some coughing that had Mercia concerned but consider how past feedings had gone, this was nothing to worry about. Mercia sent Zehn to get a warm cloth from the bathroom so Zack could wipe Cloud’s face.

“Is there anything else you need?” she asked as Zack sat watching Cloud after he had cleaned him up.

“Nah, thanks. I’m just going to wait a bit before I lie him down again. He sometimes gets sick after eating,” said Zack.

“Why?” asked Zehn quietly from his desk. His mother had allowed him to stay so long as he didn’t say anything.

“He’s very sick,” said Zack. “Sometimes sick people can’t handle food.”

“But if you’re sick, you need to eat,” pointed out Zehn.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” said Zack with a smile.

“You need to get your homework done and ready yourself for bed, young man,” said Mercia effectively wiping the smile of Zehn’s face.

“Can’t I stay just for a little bit?” begged Zehn. “He’s a SOLDIER.”

“Zehn…” tried Mercia. How could she make a fourteen year old understand what she barely knew herself? Lucas preferred not to tell her about his youth with ShinRa.

“It’s okay,” said Zack. “I can answer a few questions – rent for using your room.”

Zehn’s eyes light up. He looked at his mother with the eagerness of youth.

“Okay, okay,” said Mercia shaking her head. “But you go when Zack’s had enough, okay?”

“Yes, thank you, thank you,” said Zehn almost bouncing in his seat.

Mercia collected the bowl and cloth before leaving.

Zehn was suddenly shy after his mother left. Zack smiled and said,

“I see you have some nice bike posters.”

“Yeah,” grinned Zehn as his eyes scanned his collection. “My dad gets them for me when he goes to Rocket Town.”

“What does he do in Rocket Town?” asked Zack.

But Zehn shrugged.

“Work?” He didn’t seem sure himself.

“Are you First Class?” asked Zehn suddenly.

Zack nodded. He had hoped to keep the conversation on bikes and cars – silly really, Zehn obviously wanted to be SOLDIER.

“First Class,” breathed Zehn. “Did you know Sephiroth?”

“Yes,” said Zack but didn’t elaborate.

“Wow.” Zehn was almost bubbling with excitement. “Dad said I could have joined SOLDIER if it was still around.”

Zack highly doubted that but nodded anyway. He wasn’t sure what ShinRa had done to Lucas but the same add some deep resentment with the company. Zack also got the impression that Lucas knew more about ShinRa than he let on. The workers at the plantation must also have something against ShinRa. Otherwise they won’t cooperate with Lucas when he hid deserters. Interesting – there had been grumblings about ShinRa before but what had happened that had turned almost everyone against the company.

“What was he like?” asked Zehn quietly.

“Sephiroth?”

Zehn nodded.

“He was…” a monster “…a good SOLDIER. He was strict but fair,” said Zack. And he had been – he just didn’t end that way. He had been betrayed by ShinRa in the end, Zack realised. Betrayed just like him and Cloud. Angeal as well. And Genesis. All betrayed – all dead or broken.

Zehn sensed that Zack didn’t want to talk anymore. He got up quietly and said goodnight. Zack threw him a smile as he passed but it felt from his face as soon as Zehn was gone. Genesis, Angeal and Sephiroth were ShinRa experiments, creations – projects. The SOLDIER project. ShinRa was like a child with a chemistry set, playing. He and Cloud were projects. Zack found himself looking at his hands wondering what Hojo had done to him. And to Cloud. He had seen Genesis’ desperation, Angeal’s confliction and Sephiroth’s madness.

ShinRa had lost its allure to Zack long ago, he was under no illusions about ShinRa and he still felt horror at the prospect of what he might be, might become. Angeal had been full of pride and honour when he realised what he was, what he was becoming. How had they felt having all that they thought to be true shattered like a mirror? Unsuspectingly living a lie, cruelly deluded by those they trusted.

The lamp flame spluttered and flickered. Zack stared at it as it dwindled. He had once said to Angeal that he didn’t understand what Angeal was thinking at all and Angeal had confessed to not knowing himself. Zack watched the flame grow smaller and eventually go out.

He sat in the dark thinking about just how much he hadn’t understood.

Description
I do not own anything nor do I make any money from this story. All rights apply.

[A/N I’ll be slowing with updates as work consumes my time again.]

The Price of Freedom – Truth Behind the Project

Zack woke late in the afternoon. The light was warm coming through the windows. A soft breeze played with the edge of a poster that hadn’t been tacked down. Zack stared at the poster for a while – it was of ShinRa’s latest all terrain vehicle. Zack hadn’t had a chance to drive it yet – he still wanted to but doubted he would ever have the chance now. Rolling over, Zack hung his head over the edge of the bed to check on Cloud. He was still in the same position Mercia had left him in, once again staring at nothing. Or maybe… Zack followed Cloud’s line of sight. Maybe he was looking at the motorbike that adored most of the wall in various angles and sizes.

Zack lay for some time listening to the sounds of the house. He heard people arriving, assuming them to be Lucas and Mercia’s sons from the way they spoke. He couldn’t hear exact words but got the idea from tone and manner. His thoughts drifted to where he and Cloud were going to go from Arda. Costa Del Sol was now out of the question. It was too risky. Not only would it be full of ShinRa infantrymen but the Turks would be keeping an eye on it as well – it was the most direct route to Midgar. He would have to go a little south before he tried to cross over. There were many little fishing village along the coast. He was sure he could pay enough for someone to take them across. And to another little village, not to Junon – Junon was out of the question. If Costa Del Sol was risky, Junon was suicide. Any landing between Junon and Midgar would be fine. But first de needed to get south. The best option in terms of hiding would be along the mountain range – he would have to stay west until there was no chance anyone from North Corel would finding them and then cross over the range before Gold Saucer. Going along the mountain would take time but it wouldn’t cost that much, in fact, with Zack hunting for their food, it wouldn’t cost anything. But he would need money to pay someone to take them across the water. The chances were he might need a lot of money. Right now Zack had no money – he had used it all to get to Arda. The sensibility of that plan was still up to debate but there was no use fretting or worrying about action he had done. He had to concentrate on actions he was going to do.

Mercia was right about one thing – the Turks had looked in Arda for them. And Zack was right about one thing – they would come back. There was a lot of land to cover before the Turks could begin to reinvestigate suspect places. Zack figured at least two weeks, possibly three depending on how many men ShinRa was willing to put on the task. Zack would need to speak to Lucas about the towns in the area – he wasn’t keen to stay in Arda. He was sure the Turks had marked it as one of the ones to investigate first. The incident that morning with the hiding of a deserter would have alerted someone.

Though there was a chance that because of the deserter the Turks would look elsewhere as they would ‘know’ what was happening in Arda. Ultimately it would depend on how much information the Turks had.

Laughter drifted up from below. Someone was having a good time… Zack thought he detected an underlying tone of nastiness. The laughter continued – it was full of cruelty. A hand grabbed Zack’s arm, he tried to pull free but the grip was strong. And cold. Zack felt his body getting colder and he started to shiver. With a yell he pulled himself free and for a moment he felt like he was floating before he landed heavily on the bedroom floor. He cast about for his attacker but it was a dream - he had entangled himself in his blanket as he had dozed off and dreamt and fallen out of bed. He jumped as the bedroom door open.

Lucas was about to step into the room when he saw Zack on the floor, he glanced at the top bunk before asking if Zack was okay.

“Yeah,” said Zack, he didn’t elaborate but got to his feet instead, wondering how it had got so late.

“We’re about to have dinner if you want to come down,” said Lucas.

“Thank you,” mumbled Zack putting the blanket back on the bed.

Zack straighten his clothes and checked on Cloud. His breathing was even and calm, his eyes were open but free of panic but still blank, blinking slowly.

“Hey, Spike,” said Zack ruffling his hair, “I’m going to get something to eat, okay.”

Lucas was waiting in the passage for Zack. They didn’t say anything on the way down but chatter drifted up the stairs. Zack paused at the doorway to the large kitchen, warm air wafted passed him from the wood cooker – there was no electricity this far out of nowhere. Mercia was busying dishing some mashed potato onto a plate. Three boys, Lucas’ sons, were seated at the table in the middle of the kitchen. Zack guessed them to be round 14, 18 and 21 years of age, they looked like younger versions of their father. The youngest’s face lit up when he saw Zack – this was obviously Zehn – the other two showed passing interest but their focus for the moment was the meal before them.

“Take a seat,” said Mercia as she placed the plate of food off to one side.

Zack smiled as he took a seat and Mercia put a clean plate in front of him. Zack couldn’t deny how ravenous he was, and the chicken and vegetables before him smelt delicious. He paused in dishing some carrots when he noticed Zehn was trying to look at his eyes. Lucas saw and cleared his throat pointedly, Zehn quickly muttered an apology and continued eating.

Zack had never sat through a more awkward dinner. Mercia made several attempts to elicit conversation but Zack was a huge question sitting at the end of the table. He knew his presences was distracting to the daily life of Lucas’ family and felt stronger about his need to be away from Arda. He was disrupting this family’s life and placing them all in danger. At one time Zack would have taken umbrage at someone suggesting that ShinRa would endanger civilians’ life but he knew how they treated those they ‘valued’, he didn’t want to think about how they would treat those they perceived as having no value.

“Is there anything Cloud doesn’t eat?” asked Mercia as dinner finished and plates were being gathered.

“Nah,” said Zack, “he eats anything – the army…”

Zack stopped. He was going to say the army beat any nonsense and fussiness out of a person. Zack waited while the boys took the dishes to the scullery and started washing up.

“Sorry,” apologised Zack. “I’m not usually unable to finish sentences – guess I’m more tired than I thought.”

“Well,” said Mercia as she started mashing the carrots and mixing them with the mashed potato she had set aside earlier. “I must say, after the solid sleeping you did this morning, I am surprised. You didn’t even stir when Zehn came home.”

Zack frowned. Had Mercia check on him while he slept and he didn’t hear her enter the room? Had he been that wiped this morning? Mercia misunderstood his frown and didn’t say anything further. Zack cursed slightly.

“Um, Cloud won’t be able to eat that. Yet,” added Zack. “He, um, can barely handle water right now so, um…”

“Oh, I’ll mash it up really fine,” said Mercia.

“No, he can’t…” Zack cleared his throat. “Cloud is very…” Zack had to stop again. He looked at the table top for a moment trying to swallow the lump in his throat. One side effect of being rested and thinking properly – Zack was realising the horror he had left behind, realising how sick Cloud really was, how much depended Cloud was on him.

He missed the silent communication between Mercia and Lucas while he tried to gain control of his emotions.

“I’ll make a broth, it will be thin like water but more nutritious,” she said getting to her feet.

Zack nodded his thanks. He had a sudden image of Aerith smiling at him as he kneeled by her flowers, for a moment he thought he could smell her flowers – he had to be strong for her, she was waiting. He looked up, clear eyed, to meet Lucas’ contemplative gaze.

“Shall we move to the sitting room?” he asked.

“Sure,” said Zack with no hint of his recent turmoil – that was behind him, he was in control again.

He followed Lucas into an overly stuffed sitting room. There were big armchairs round the fireplace and glass cabinets lined the walls. Though on closer inspection, the cabinets were empty and the armchairs had been darned many times. Maybe Lucas was not a well off as Zack had initially thought. The two ornate lamps on the mantel piece had been lit and cast a warm yellow light.

“Firstly, I would like to say that ShinRa will not hear of your stay from me nor my family,” said Lucas as he sat in what looked to be his regular spot. There was a book on the table next to the chair, along with reading glasses, a pipe and a box of tobacco.

“I know,” said Zack. He noticed a basket of sewing project next to his chair and assumed it to be Mercia’s regular spot. “I didn’t doubt that at all. I mean, you were hiding someone in your dumpster.”

Lucas nodded.

“Now, he is a deserter.”

“Infantrymen by the look of him,” said Zack. “Did he say why he ran?”

“No,” said Lucas picking up his pipe. “I don’t ask really – just like I’m not going to ask why you are running, why your friend has mako poisoning. I wanted you to know that I understand and that you don’t need to make excuses.”

“Okay,” nodded Zack in understanding.

“But you should know, you will need to think of something if you leave,” warned Lucas pushing tobacco into his pipe.

“If?” frowned Zack. “I have to leave.”

“And go where? The Turks are looking for you and they’ve already searched here,” said Lucas. “You will not be the first run away to take up residence here.”

“The Turks will come back,” said Zack.

“Because you’re SOLDIER?” asked Lucas.

Zack nodded instead of answering – he wasn’t entirely sure it was just because he was SOLDIER. Hojo was up to something more than developing a super soldier – Zack was sure of it.

“So where you gonna go – Rocket Town, North Corel? The only other place you might have been able to use is now a ShinRa town,” said Lucas.

“ShinRa town?” asked Zack. He had a pretty good idea of which town Lucas was talking about.

“Nibelheim,” said Lucas confirming Zack’s thoughts. “Something happened in that town – ShinRa denies it but the people there, they’re too friendly and their stories too perfect.”

Zack knew exactly what happened to Nibelheim – the real Nibelheim.

“Sephiroth died there too,” said Lucas.

“Yeah, so those three are the nearest towns?” asked Zack.

Lucas didn’t miss the change in conversation and correctly suspected Zack knew more than he was letting on. He began to wonder about the ‘death’ of Sephiroth, and not for the first time.

“Yup – nearest towns,” he said instead finally lighting his pipe.

Zack let his head fall back against the armchair back wishing his geography of the continent was better.

“I could use your help here,” suggested Lucas.

“I can’t stay here,” said Zack. “I’m putting Arda at risk being here.”

“You know when Sephiroth died, they cancelled the SOLDIER programme,” said Lucas.

“What?” said Zack sitting up.

Lucas nodded.

“You and your friend are part of a very elite group to begin with, and now more so. You say you’re First Class? There might, being generous, be three or four First Class SOLDIERs left. A handful of Seconds and Thirds.”

“Three or four?” asked Zack shocked. “But… but, no… Why?”

“The war with Wutai got rid of most of them, then Sephiroth died and those that were left weren’t replaced when they died. The programme was cancelled and those of Second or Third Class remained where they were – no more promotions. In fact, no more promoting of SOLDIER at all. You’re like a conspiracy theory now, urban legend of sorts for the youngster.”

What the hell had happened in the months they had been prisoner?

“So you’re saying not only am I going to stick out for being a SOLDIER, I’m going to get more attention because I’m a SOLDIER that’s alive?” asked Zack.

“Pretty much,” said Lucas settling back into his chair.

Zack let his head drop into his hands – this was going to be much harder than he thought. Fear of SOLDIER he could have handled and, possibly, used but awe would be more damaging to secrecy and stealth.

“As I was saying – my busy season is coming up and I could use a hand on the plantation,” said Lucas. “The pay is poor, to be honest, but I can offer room and board.”

Zack turned his head to the door moments before Mercia walked in. She had a bowl of broth in her hands – Zack could smell beef and marrow through the tobacco smoke.

“The broth is ready.”

Zack slid his eyes back to Lucas.

“Think about it, tell me tomorrow,” said Lucas.

Zack nodded after a bit, got to his feet and follow Mercia up the stairs. He heard muffled humming from one of the boys’ bedroom as he passed on his way to Zehn’s room. The door was open and he could hear talking from the room – he didn’t recognise the voice but it was young, it had to be Zehn.

“That boy,” muttered Mercia. “I told him to stay out his room.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure Cloud likes the company,” said Zack fairly sure Cloud would normally not like the company. Even if Zehn was only a couple of years younger than him, Cloud didn’t ‘chat’ with strangers. But then again, Zehn was talking about swords so maybe he might.

Zehn’s chatting fell flat when Zack and Mercia walked into the room, his eyes widened a bit.

“Mom…?” he said, Zack could see he was thinking hard. “I thought he might be lonely.”

“Save your excuses,” said Mercia good naturedly.

Zehn stepped back from the bunk so Zack could pull Cloud into a sitting position.

“Hey, Cloud – you up for some dinner? Beefy broth,” said Zack.

No change from when Zack had left him – Zack preferred no change to change for the worse. He stuck out his hand for the bowl of broth. Mercia handed it over without saying anything. With the slow dribbling of liquid into Cloud’s month, Zack managed to get him to drink almost the entire bowl. There had been one choking incident and some coughing that had Mercia concerned but consider how past feedings had gone, this was nothing to worry about. Mercia sent Zehn to get a warm cloth from the bathroom so Zack could wipe Cloud’s face.

“Is there anything else you need?” she asked as Zack sat watching Cloud after he had cleaned him up.

“Nah, thanks. I’m just going to wait a bit before I lie him down again. He sometimes gets sick after eating,” said Zack.

“Why?” asked Zehn quietly from his desk. His mother had allowed him to stay so long as he didn’t say anything.

“He’s very sick,” said Zack. “Sometimes sick people can’t handle food.”

“But if you’re sick, you need to eat,” pointed out Zehn.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” said Zack with a smile.

“You need to get your homework done and ready yourself for bed, young man,” said Mercia effectively wiping the smile of Zehn’s face.

“Can’t I stay just for a little bit?” begged Zehn. “He’s a SOLDIER.”

“Zehn…” tried Mercia. How could she make a fourteen year old understand what she barely knew herself? Lucas preferred not to tell her about his youth with ShinRa.

“It’s okay,” said Zack. “I can answer a few questions – rent for using your room.”

Zehn’s eyes light up. He looked at his mother with the eagerness of youth.

“Okay, okay,” said Mercia shaking her head. “But you go when Zack’s had enough, okay?”

“Yes, thank you, thank you,” said Zehn almost bouncing in his seat.

Mercia collected the bowl and cloth before leaving.

Zehn was suddenly shy after his mother left. Zack smiled and said,

“I see you have some nice bike posters.”

“Yeah,” grinned Zehn as his eyes scanned his collection. “My dad gets them for me when he goes to Rocket Town.”

“What does he do in Rocket Town?” asked Zack.

But Zehn shrugged.

“Work?” He didn’t seem sure himself.

“Are you First Class?” asked Zehn suddenly.

Zack nodded. He had hoped to keep the conversation on bikes and cars – silly really, Zehn obviously wanted to be SOLDIER.

“First Class,” breathed Zehn. “Did you know Sephiroth?”

“Yes,” said Zack but didn’t elaborate.

“Wow.” Zehn was almost bubbling with excitement. “Dad said I could have joined SOLDIER if it was still around.”

Zack highly doubted that but nodded anyway. He wasn’t sure what ShinRa had done to Lucas but the same add some deep resentment with the company. Zack also got the impression that Lucas knew more about ShinRa than he let on. The workers at the plantation must also have something against ShinRa. Otherwise they won’t cooperate with Lucas when he hid deserters. Interesting – there had been grumblings about ShinRa before but what had happened that had turned almost everyone against the company.

“What was he like?” asked Zehn quietly.

“Sephiroth?”

Zehn nodded.

“He was…” a monster “…a good SOLDIER. He was strict but fair,” said Zack. And he had been – he just didn’t end that way. He had been betrayed by ShinRa in the end, Zack realised. Betrayed just like him and Cloud. Angeal as well. And Genesis. All betrayed – all dead or broken.

Zehn sensed that Zack didn’t want to talk anymore. He got up quietly and said goodnight. Zack threw him a smile as he passed but it felt from his face as soon as Zehn was gone. Genesis, Angeal and Sephiroth were ShinRa experiments, creations – projects. The SOLDIER project. ShinRa was like a child with a chemistry set, playing. He and Cloud were projects. Zack found himself looking at his hands wondering what Hojo had done to him. And to Cloud. He had seen Genesis’ desperation, Angeal’s confliction and Sephiroth’s madness.

ShinRa had lost its allure to Zack long ago, he was under no illusions about ShinRa and he still felt horror at the prospect of what he might be, might become. Angeal had been full of pride and honour when he realised what he was, what he was becoming. How had they felt having all that they thought to be true shattered like a mirror? Unsuspectingly living a lie, cruelly deluded by those they trusted.

The lamp flame spluttered and flickered. Zack stared at it as it dwindled. He had once said to Angeal that he didn’t understand what Angeal was thinking at all and Angeal had confessed to not knowing himself. Zack watched the flame grow smaller and eventually go out.

He sat in the dark thinking about just how much he hadn’t understood.